Been a rather shitty week on ASC. The general feeling has been depressed and angry, but I guess there's also those days.
There has been an interesting side to this week though. It's like something has pushed me towards using my intuition over the analysing thinking (meditation seems to play a huge part in this). And each of these decisions that I make without including the thinking part of my mind has been rewarded quite fast (can't mention how, but there's no way these things would have happened randomly). Now I don't know (in the broken "words" kind of explaining way) how this all fits together, but I can say for sure that this is more than a mere coincidence. It is more than simply staying in the present, although that comes pretty close to describing it.
Had 7 lucid dreams yesterday. Yeap, 7! Was trying to meet my "perfect sexual parter" and she was spot on!
I've run into a wall with the cutting, my BF is still at 12.9% but weight has dropped to 76kg. It was a stressful week and that interfered with my eating. Going to get back on track with the next week.
EDIT: Something that has been bothering me is that I feel like a doormat a lot of the time. That probably comes from my father since he is literally the biggest doormat and shady manipulator that I know. It makes me angry that I can't seem to assert myself when it would be the right thing to do. I'm not sure how ASC will deal with this, but I hope to make progress in this area.
There has been an interesting side to this week though. It's like something has pushed me towards using my intuition over the analysing thinking (meditation seems to play a huge part in this). And each of these decisions that I make without including the thinking part of my mind has been rewarded quite fast (can't mention how, but there's no way these things would have happened randomly). Now I don't know (in the broken "words" kind of explaining way) how this all fits together, but I can say for sure that this is more than a mere coincidence. It is more than simply staying in the present, although that comes pretty close to describing it.
Had 7 lucid dreams yesterday. Yeap, 7! Was trying to meet my "perfect sexual parter" and she was spot on!
I've run into a wall with the cutting, my BF is still at 12.9% but weight has dropped to 76kg. It was a stressful week and that interfered with my eating. Going to get back on track with the next week.
EDIT: Something that has been bothering me is that I feel like a doormat a lot of the time. That probably comes from my father since he is literally the biggest doormat and shady manipulator that I know. It makes me angry that I can't seem to assert myself when it would be the right thing to do. I'm not sure how ASC will deal with this, but I hope to make progress in this area.
