AM6 Refresher

[tolgaocal80]

There is really something wrong about me, false assumptions, false beliefs about world,life, women, fuck I really bored of this siht but still living the same.

I am telling myself "keep listening to AM, SM etc. things will change for good, you know you had worse than that", but fck that is enough man, when you will start to live your life? when you will accept what is in front of you and work on it, without hesitations, without fear, without any of old ideas, paradigms, habits.
I see a life out there but cant touch it,reach it, maybe I dramatize it too much, am I still loser? a beta male? who is trying to shit around? ı dont know. I changed a lot undoubtly, I bored of waiting, bored of just looking at them, I have a wrong mindset about life, how can I change it, how can I see the truth,
these questions all over my mind nowadays.

I know it is hard to wait, but I just have to wait some more time, in the past, I was wondering if I could get out of that depression, the feeling of desperation? it all had past, I don't feel that kind of depression, almost outgrow it %99.
when I will become a hundred percent self-suffiecient man?

these are some writing from my personal (not all like that pessimist) diary. I am growing but there is some topics I had to change, I hope I will do, I have to change them.
just wanted to write to myself