AM6

[Benjamin]

I've learnt that anytime a girl gives you the 'i'll let you know' bullshit it's a copout or a test and I now refuse to accept it and then just go do my own thing.

[eternity]

stage 5 day 5

wow, women are really starting to become abundant in my life... i would say this is crazy, but it doesn't feel that way! the naturalizer must be hard at work. I also got a butt display from this WEALTHY older woman, and exchanged some silent 'humorous moments' with her during the 8pm meeting. I remember reading about the butt displays in someone else's journal (ben? sarge?)

Earlier this year, I was attracting the young whipper snappers (18/19/20). I'm under the impression that I attract who I am, so does that mean my emotional growth was that of an immature young adult? I won't try to read too much into it, to avoid getting in my own way and beta'ing it up.

Now I've been attracting the slightly older girls..

talked more to that black girl who got sick; I took what ffaux said as sage advice.... although I had already made the comment but tried to salvage it lol....

tinder's fun too. 2 more black girls lol. i don't understand why, but it's the black girls that seem to respond the most to me LOL. I used to resent that fact, but realized it was a VERY unhealthy mindset to have, being critical of the wrong things.... and I even talked about it with my buddy, and told him that I am now starting to appreciate black women.

one of them is 23 and the other 26. starting to enjoy conversations with women without the expectation for sex as the result of it, which is huge for me! Women are interesting creatures indeed, I love this whole game of trying to find the method each woman click's. I'm still insanely amateur at it though, but I'm enjoying the learning process.

I'm also starting to care a lot more about/for my peers. Before I started this program, I had such a hard time being intimate with anyone, to avoid letting anybody too close and seeing who I really am. But by extending out my arm first, I allow myself to be loved and consider myself deserving of love. I'm extremely grateful for the people I have in my life.

edit:

I'm at 20-21 hours per day still. switched back to the old routine of having speakers on either side of the bed last night, to gain maximum benefit without headphones. it's been ultrasonic the past month and a half, wondering if I should pull a week with trickling to switch it up for my brain..

[eternity]

stage 5 day 7

I'm definitely starting to feel the SM3 lead in at this stage. i had a really awesome dream where a super sexy latina girl was wearing only a shirt.

---
going out with that brazilian tonight at 8 pm. been talking to two of the black girls and they're responding really well.

one of them even asked me if i was dating. I was like "well, you DID find me on tinder". teased her a bit, and then she said something like " i want to find the right one". lol

The other one texted me this morning "I was drinking almond milk this morning and I thought of you... weird". Yesterday I just randomly texted her asking if she likes rice milk and she said it's her second favorite behind almond


My sex drive has been THROUGH THE ROOF! It's getting nearly impossible to contain it.

more black girls matched on tinder & pof lol....

c'mon i like a little diversity here...

[eternity]

stage 5 day 8

Icealive enlightened me on affecting people in my surroundings being affected by subliminals, and that has me slightly above concerned. I'm already pretty deep into the programming, and I can't reduce my hours to stop affecting those around me over it. But then again, I would HATE others to be affected negatively so i'm kind of at a standstill at how to move forward, but i will stick to my schedule until a solution shows up. I might end up getting sleep phones like I saw another member used.

Alright my motives behind women are becoming very apparent to myself, as much as I wanted to hide behind it/ashamed to admit. looks like one of the black girls is getting really attached, the one who said she wants to find the right one. I definitely am not looking to get into a relationship, as much as I thought I wanted a relationship. I just want to get the dicky sticky. This brings me back to my motives. I don't think I'm ashamed to admit that to myself, and to my guy friends.. And I definitely don't want to use a girl for poon and just ditch her, I can't bring myself to do that. I see 'players' do that all the time and it's heart breaking, the way the girls get toyed with. But the guys who do this, usually get the hottest girls. My internet game has me pulling in 4/s and 5/s lol.... but hey that's light years better than i was doing for the past 5 years.

[CatMan]

Yeah man, like I said in that other thread, exposing others to subs is dicey and not cool.

Sleephones are good, I've used mine a bit at night, but I have to get used to them. Others have fantastic results with them. I have the bluetooth model. Either are good options though.

[eternity]

i realized i've been going through another phase of isolation. Sometimes I just want to be left alone. Just a few minutes ago, everyone finished a movie in the living room and i told everyone to keep it down for the next movie so I can get some sleep, and C was like "Why do you have to be the old man of the group? Come chill with us!"

This is just one instance of my desire to just be alone. The girl A (from the dreams) is here too and I still don't feel like being around her. Weird.

Also, I have been having some wild resistance that I believe might be attributed to the SM3 lead in. It's like a dark cloud is over me, preventing me from using the alpha traits i'm being

[eternity]

stage 5 day 14

went through a little depression. my truck is down for the count, and i'm done putting money into it. that's going to set me back on moving out in july, so now I have to stay at the nut hut a little longer. but maybe it's what needs to happen, for my sanity and safety's sake lol.

yesterday, A2 (a super hot 9) told me: "you're one of my favorite people here. No, you're my favorite person at this place". out of nowhere. she's super hot and I see guys always trying to get with her lol. i guess i'm different than everyone else?

There was an extra intense thunderstorm 2 nights ago, and I texted my ex fiance (the one I talked about before) "look outside". she responded "that's exactly what I was thinking"

5 years ago, we went for a walk outside and saw purple skies with lots of lightning and I referenced that moment when I told her to look outside. That sparked a "we need to get together soon" on her part.

I don't know what else to write on here. I'm not gonna lie, I've been feeling a lack of desire to keep coming here. I like the site and all, but I just don't feel like writing, nor do I feel like thinking about what the sub is doing for me as much as I did before. I must be getting out of my own way !

[Shannon]

Yeah, that's the ticket!

[eternity]

I ended up meeting with my ex fiance on Sunday, and we talked for a bit. Man it's crazy how like attracts like.... She had just left an abusive relationship a week prior; the guy left her and left her with bruises too.

I felt more sorry for her than anything, it killed nearly all attraction that would have been there otherwise. 5 years ago, she attracted me and I attracted her (like attracts like) but the only difference now is that I'm intensely working on myself, and she's not.

**

I have a LOT of people telling me how they look up to me / see me as a leader / am the most stable person around / and other related alpha male characteristics

one girl even said "omg every time i see you i just want to hug you!" not sure if that means 'cute little kid' or 'i want you' lol

[eternity]

I recorded a joke on whatsapp and sent it to this girl and when i listened to it, i realized how much deeper my voice got!!! damn. unfiltered cigarettes + AM6 = balls dropping... lol


in case anyone wants to hear the differences:

P.S. all of them were recorded on the same type of headset on the same computer

https://drive.google.com/folderview?id=0...sp=sharing



holy fuck that doesn't even sound like me anymore......... wtf wtf wtf

[Shannon]

If that's the cigarettes, it's an indication you are screwing up your vocal chords.

[eternity]

yeah i'm worried as it is LOL



Can a voice change like that be expected from AM6? Now that it's 5 months in, i'm sure the manifestation/physical changes are realistically able to take effect. But I want to know if anybody else has noticed voice changes along similar lines on AM6

[eternity]

stage 5 day 26

okay so i went to the beach with a 3 guys and 3 girls. still, with the women, my insecurities rise up and I freeze when it comes to talking to women. Now with my guy friends I'm able to completely open up with, but with the women it's still hard. I am sure i've ruined plenty of opportunities because of my inconsistency to initiate and/or inability (inexperience?) to escalate. I don't know whether another run of AM6 would be in order or if I need to do EPRHA (paid version) before I do SM3, but I'm still going to wait until at least 21 days into stage 6 before I make my decision.

I know it's got to be something within myself that's holding me back, something akin to a traumatic event or situation because it shouldn't be so paralyzing.

on a brighter note, I was asked to tell my life story at an adolescent rehab yesterday so I did. I was told that it wasn't as much for the kids as it was for me and I understood why afterwards. I got a sense of serenity from letting a HUGE LOAD off my chest, but I had to spare some details because they were adolescents, after all. clearly i'm looked up to as someone worthy to tell their story to adolescents. that's part AM6, part my sincere desire to work on myself as an individual.

[eternity]

so ever since my truck messed up, i bought me a bikecycle and have been riding 10 miles a day to get to and from work. Which in and of itself curbed down my desire to smoke cigarettes, while giving me physical activity. So I guess that addresses the aforementioned problem lol. We'll see how my voice sounds after a month of no smoking.

I'm still not very loud, though. I am not a dominant aggressive personality by nature, so my voice gets talked over a LOT, and it's been aggravating me lately. Like I will be really mad and be yelling, but others would talk over me in a NORMAL voice, without even realzing I'm yelling and take over my voice completely. So I've been consciously working on speaking from my gut, which I understand that dominant alpha's do.

**
I've been getting beard compliments left and right

It's going on 4 months of growth and its girth is becoming full.

one girl outright said "you're hot"
**

stage 5 is coming to a close. I remember when I started this program I kept thinking about the future, how awesome I'm going to be, what this program is going to do for me, etc... Which as awesome and exciting as it is, was just noise in my head. I don't feel the need to get too worked up about the future anymore; I feel more at peace being at an even keel, with an inner understanding that as long as I keep investing into myself, I will continue to reap more and more benefits.

**

It might be worth noting that I got some new pheromones and started testing those as well, and DEFINITELY noticed a synergistic effect between mones and subs. But I AM wondering now that I've been running AM6, will the amount of status mones I need to use be lower or higher than when I first started? That's a topic for a different forum lol.