AM5 + MLS Journal after finishing LTU 3.1

[lokko]

day 2: Having a hard time lying because I feel like I'm confident enough to give the truth. This is alpha.

[lokko]

day 4: So much is going on. I feel and am way more alpha then I ever used to be. So much to explain but no time or brain power from exhaustion. Some guy I work with says, girls check you out like they want to fuck you and you don't even notice. Interesting.

[lokko]

day 19: Major changes in this stage has been happening. I can confidently look into a girls eye and say I want her. I've approached 2 hot girls. I was working at my construction site and this big boobed girl was walking by, my friend said hi to her and she came and asked for a smoke, from there he froze and couldn't talk to her. I asked her "What's your name, what are you planning to do tonight she was like possibly drinking and then I was like, what's your number within 10 secs of the convo. She was shocked that I asked her and was like "You want my number?" I looked her straight in the eyes with a firm talk, and was like "Yes I want your number" so she gave me it. Then she had to go and then an hour later I see her walking by and this time she walked by what appeared to be her boyfriend, so i realized, I got this chick to give me a number even tho she had a boyfriend. The same day I see another chick and go up to her with my car and I was like "Hey, what's your name, she smiled and kept walking I was like in a very firm voice, "Hey come here, and she couldn't resist and came, I was like I'm not from here but what's your number, she laughed and said she had a boyfriend, I was like uh huh, so what's your number, she was like I do have a boyfriend and I wouldn't like him to give his number out to any girls so I can't give you mine either" and I was like k cool and that was that. She was into it though.

I'm feeling a lot more confident in general, I'm speaking up to things in day to day encounters. I'm giving my viewpoints and what I think should be done and people who know me are surprised of this.

[lokko]

day 23: So much change has been happening that I woke up in the middle of the night and felt so emotional, I tried tapping as much as I can but eventually I let myself go without tapping and I started crying. I believe I was crying because I grew up without my dad or mom and relied on my aunt and grandma as someone who can save me if people were bothering me or I needed their support. They would be there for me when other kids or even adults were bothering me or picking on me. I never realized this till now and I'm just crying. I feel so weak to them that as a adult they can take advantage of me and I'd have no power..At the same time I tell myself why would they take advantage of me when they love me. The feeling of power and loss of power feels like it's linked to them. Either I have to realize that I can't just have power and control of everything in my life and that I have to give permission for people like my aunt or grandmother power and control over me because I owe them that or I have to think of it as, I was a cocoon when they we're taking care of me and I've got out of that cocoon and it's time to use my wings to be free of everyone and everything and live in complete control of my life.

[lokko]

day 30: People are calling me boss at work or supervisor, some despite me, some are cool with it. I feel more aggresive in my tonalty, show boss body language and so on.

[lokko]

Stage 2 summary: Lots of changes in this stage where I feel more mature, goal oriented, assertive and more deepend voice. The forums had been down and so I didn't know how many days I was into stage 2 but all I know was to do about 3 or 4 more days extra cause I missed 2 days and 2 other days I had less then 8 hours of exposure. So I'm calculating about 7 days extra I've done.


anyhow more reports in stage 2 is I felt really horny towards the end of the stage, lots of neediness came up. I just felt the urge to have sex everyday. So I managed to pull in this one chick that I met through twitter back in the day. Took her to the movie, felt her up in the theatre, made out, then when the movie ended, I took her to my car instead of hers, told her this is my car, as I got in, and she did too. Started driving, and she asked if she could drive I said no cause you don't know where we're going and ended up taking her infront of my place, once we were there she's like what are we gonna do here, I said I'm gonna show you my place, she felt resistant but I got out of the car and with open body language told her, ah come on as I smiled. We got into my place, I showed her the first bedroom and as we walk in, I turn around and start making out with her, in such a fast pace, I throw her on the bed, make out more, and grind on top of her, and start taking off her shirt, took that off, then her bra, she looked so surprised I was moving this fast and didn't resist. Next her jeans off, then kissed her body and just when I reached for her panties, she told me she was a virgin. I stopped and was like wtf..you're 19, good looking but a virgin? So i was real horny and I have premature ejaculation so to come over the feeling of fucking her, I rubbed myself against her pussy while she still had panties on and I managed to cum in my pants. She didn't know obviously. So I layed beside her and was like wow, I've fucked a virgin before, don't know if I should, she defended herself by saying "who said I was gonna let you anyway" as she laughed, I chuckled. However after more and more talking, she said she was really horny, then started going for my pants to take em off, I didn't want her to cuz I came in them and I wasn't really wanting to fuck a virgin just yet cuz I didn't know her enough, she could be a obsessed crazy chick. She kept trying, and I was like no don't touch my pants and etc and this made her try more, next thing you know she was like "pleaseeee" I'm thinking to myself wow wtf, she is literally begging me to break her virginity and fuck her. If I hadn't cum in my pants I would have fucked her. However I'm kinda glad I didn't cause at the same time I'm worried bout breaking her virginity. Anyways I took her back to her car, acted cold with her, cause I had no feelings for her and we went our ways. She still texted me the next day but I acted cold. Got horny one time and told her to come over but she had plans so I didn't reply back. Another day she texted and I still acted cold and ended the convo.

I have another sexual experience with a different girl but I feel like no need to explain that one.

Now stage 3. I'm 3 days into stage 3 I believe, and I can already tell the difference in this stage, neediness has died down, and feeling more valued amongst people.

[AlphaMind]

Man, if I were you I'll fuck that chick hard!

A virgin pussy man! That means for her you are WORTHY to get her crown. lol

[lokko]

yaaa but dude she's not my type and she's gonna wanna date, and shit. To be honest if I didn't cum, i'd prob have fucked her cause I was real horny at the time. Right now all I can think of is, nah don't fuck her but when we were together that night and she begged me to fuck her, I told her straight up, If I fuck you I wont have feelings for you, she got upset. However since she still texted me after that night I am now thinking she's alright with that so I might reconsider, we'll see.

[AlphaMind]

Good!

If I were you

a. Tell her honestly that I don't want any lovey-dovey shit = possible outcome sexfriend, or

b. Make a open relationship with her. This way you can "learn" romantic shit and still fuck other chicks. Best outcome.

IF I were you

*Either way, the choices still fucking hahahahaha

[lokko]

stage 3 day 14: The virgin kept messaging me once in awhile and everytime I asked her to come over she had a excuse so after the third time I told her to fuck off.

Got together with this other chick I picked up through facebook. She's a lesbian who's confused if she is bi or not. Picked her up, went straight to my place, made out with her threw her on the bed. Smacked her around, in the ass, and face too. I could tell she was uncomfortable with the face slapping. She mentioned she wouldn't suck my dick so smacked some sense into her and she began sucking. Afterawhile she couldn't handle it anymore and said if you hit me in the face again i'll punch you in a very agressive way. I stopped, looked her right in the eyes, kept eye contact for long, then she let go and cried. I held her in my arms, she weeped lots. She began telling me everything, her past relationships, her step dad abusing her and everything, I just held her tight in my arms. Gave her life advice, and let her start sucking again when she was good to go. Came in her mouth. We talked more, she was acting dominant/controlling this time and I smacked her back into her feminine side and she began crying again. Took her out for a walk, we began talking about her hobbies, this and that till she felt better. Afterwards when I was dropping her off, she admitted she came for the advice I give her, and she felt like it sounded she used me for that, and so did I. So I was upset with her, told her, when she wants to do things out of her heart and not her mind, to contact me, that was that.


So as you can tell, I value myself over these chicks now. If I ever come across a really valueable girl, I'd be more nice and respect her more, as of now, these chicks come & go for me. For you all waiting for "sex magnet" to make a move, don't. Get active in improving yourself, not just in the seduction area but in all other areas. Make moves on chicks, don't feel guilty. This sub alone should be enough to give you a jump start.

I'm planning to do Base if it comes out before I finish this.


Also in this stage I've become an asshole to people who don't value me and try to belittle me. I know the right things to say to make them regret what they say about me. I confront them when I want. I don't lie, I tell them exactly how it is. I've never told so much truth and no lies in my life.

Last year I read this book called "no more mr nice guy" I can't recommend a better book. I changed so much cause of that book in a positive way. This sub makes me feel those changes in the book more concrete and consistent.

Also for the "smacking, and slapping" part of girls, that's just something I know to do at the right time, with the right girl, you can't do that with any chick. I mean you can but they have to know you for months of sex. Some girls I know to do the dominant frame instantly.


lots of depression and self awareness in this stage. Everytime I overcome them I'm more stronger mentally in them.

[lokko]

Stage 3 Summary:

In the beginning of this stage I had become more careless of chicks, and not so approval seeking. Then I didn't see effects at all until the very end of the stage. It hit me, I suddenly became much more attentive and aware of myself of how I respond to people whether in the form of communication, body language and noticed I'm alot more calm and collective in what I say or how people respond to me. I don't worry or panic as much about certain things or laugh them off as an insecurity, now I genuinely laugh at things, genuinely say things, and it's given me the power to say what's on my mind because I don't have to make up a lie to cover myself when someone try's blame me for something or put me down. Truth has conquered the need to lie to get me out of trouble or to get me something I want. People tell me, especially my family, "You have to be more of a devil, and manipulative" and you can get what you want, however I told them, actually I don't fear the truth, it's more better to tell the truth then to lie and manipulate someone. I mean sure, there is people out there that have jobs because they are manipulative and can lie, and get what they want, however AM5 has allowed me to be more creative and good with my words while telling the truth and getting what I want.

I'm also talking again with this one chick I was going to have for casual sex but I think me and here communicate pretty well and might make her my gf, we'll see if I like her. As you can see, I'm the one making these kind of decisions, being more alpha allows me to be confident in saying that I can leave her if we don't match, or friendzone her. Instead of the other way around, where girls usually make the decision if they friendzone a guy, I've learnt, no girl really wants to friendzone a guy, the guy puts himself in that position. Since I know that, I know what words or how I should be with chicks if I want to date them or friendzone them, it's awesome.

I'm starting school tomorrow, first day of Business in College and I'm excited, I'm going to restart "Maximum learning speed" sub but the amount of exhaustion I have felt in stage 3 is crazy, I get crazy tired around the evening and fall asleep sometimes and when I try to wake up I'm so exhausted and tired. However I've heard people saying stage 2 and 3 does that, and it fades, so luckily I'm starting stage 4 tonight.

[lokko]

I tried implementing MLS with my am5 journey again and I'm completely worn out. I did 8 hrs am5 and 8 hrs AM5, and only get 6 hours sleep, but gonna try to get 8 hrs of sleep, however During the day in the afternoon i'll get really sleepy. Can I use 4 hrs of MLS instead and still benefit?

[lokko]

Stage 4 day 9:

Lots of fear in this stage, when I mean fear, I mean, of the dark..I always think this chick who is possessed lives at my place and is haunting me and talking to me. It's fucked up. I've been mildly afraid of the dark and shit, but not like this, it's constantly on my mind at dark but only when I'm home alone. Shannon..what's going on..what has AM5 have to do with Monsters/Ghost fear..Is this stage meant to get my fears to the next level and overcome them or something?

Also I'm way less horny...I don't find myself wanting to jackoff or chase chicks. I got 2 girls in school who I got there numbers but only for school related stuff, yet I know for a fact I can take it to the next level with them, however I'm more focused on my school and goals.

[lokko]

Stage 4 Day 10:

Today is the day I realized how powerful AM5 is, and what changes it has been doing. Before I started LTU and AM5 I was already self aware but this takes it to the next level. I've noticed on how I am communicating with everyone, how people are attracted to me, and when they don't like me, it's not them, it's me that's doing it. UNCONSCIOUSLY.

Today I was at a Family BBQ and I was very observant(My natural side) and then AM5 effects came into play, I was more free to talk to everyone, I wasn't on bad terms with anyone, and even if I was in the past, I left it in the past. Some resistance came up with one of my uncles but I mean even that was eventually brushed off. I noticed because I am more open to everyone, and even when they "Insult me" or attempt me, I don't see it as in insult, I see it as hey, this person knows me, and wants to make a joke, and I reply without attacking them back. I didn't find a need to attack them because even though I was "open" I am STRONG in my core, that it feels natural for them to be "attacking me" because I realized, if they are attacking me, what they are subconsciously doing is checking to see if I have anything against them, and if I do, I verbally insult them back. But I had nothing held against them, so they were much nicer and liked me better because of that. Remember all this is going on is in the subconscious level, I'm aware, they are not. Well I don't know if they are but I get the vibe that I'm more "deep" into thinking then they are. Back in the day, I used to hate that I was a "Deep thinker" or "Analyzer" and thought about everything but now I seem to be able to process information faster and not have to sit there and deep think and just come up with replies or answers. I've let go of lots of Fear, worry, anxiety, that I feel like I am in the "now" and open to conversations and etc. If it was before, I'd try to stay back and act cool, calm and collected, but now I'm more outgoing/social and at the sametime able to keep my "Skills" I call it now, of deep thinking and etc without being bummed out about it, cause I use it to my advantage.

MLS is great! I am recalling information more vividly, faster and able to solve problems better, my grades in school are going really well so far. Anything I put my mind to, in terms of reading the textbook and so on, I am able to remember them better. I"m aabout a week into MLS.

Also in this stage, I've been waking up with this empty and sad feeling in my stomach..I find that I am in need to turn on depressing music to make me feel better which is weird..but I've always done so..I guess it helps me connect to what my body/mind is trying to tell me.