A much needed Life Tune Up - LTU6 journal

[fab10]

Update: I am wired, almost manic. Irritable but able to control my anger, didn’t lash out in a situation where I usually would have. I am getting things done but I also dropped stuff, hit my head twice in the same spot (mildly), and I’m moving around the house like a chicken with its head cut off. I am in a good mood however. 

  Lucky occurrence: a headset I ordered 4 months ago and never arrived just got delivered. 
I realized how much I need a “luck boost”, I do not feel I have been very lucky in my life on average. The sheer fact that some luck seems to be coming my way is worth a lot more to me than the 50 bucks headset.

[fab10]

Last night I suddenly had an intuition, later confirmed by factual information - the speakers I use for nightly listening are not good enough for ultrasonic. Since I have used those speakers for three months (not for all listening and not always for ultrasonic thankfully) without figuring that out, I attribute my sudden realization to LTU.

My body is mildly itching in several places, I haven’t eaten any new food or used medication or changed soap, it might well be a result of LTU as well (detox I assume.)

My mood seems to slightly improving.

Today’s listening will be
August 13th, Stage 1, Day 3

Yes, i notice alot of itching aswell, seems like something is going on !

Can confirm, massive itching, lol.

Aha, I bet Shannon will love this!    

Sharing experiences is incredibly useful, like in this case I do not have to look for another reason that could possibly cause the itching. Thank you guys.

[Shannon]

I cannot explain itching unless you're itching because of healing... but it doesn't sound like that makes sense.

Where are you itching? Need more information about the itching.

[fab10]

I cannot explain itching unless you're itching because of healing... but it doesn't sound like that makes sense.

Where are you itching?  Need more information about the itching.

Seemingly random spots: inside of wrists, eye brows, arms, back, legs, back of the head. Small areas. It’s mild and lasts a bit, then it’s gone from some spots and pops up elsewhere after a while. Sometimes it’s so mild I only notice if I pay attention, other times I find myself scratching. Isn’t it detox then? (You’re killing us by not sharing which titles we’re running   )

[Shannon]

I cannot explain itching unless you're itching because of healing... but it doesn't sound like that makes sense.

Where are you itching?  Need more information about the itching.

Seemingly random spots: inside of wrists, eye brows, arms, back, legs, back of the head. It’s mild and lasts a bit, then it’s gone from some spots and pops up elsewhere after a while. Sometimes it’s so mild I only notice if I pay attention, other times I find myself scratching. Isn’t it detox then? (You’re killing us by not sharing which titles we’re running   )

It could be detox.  I don't remember if detox is in Stage 1.  Honestly been so busy doing other stuff lately (preparing for my vacation) and been so exhausted, my memory isn't very good atm.  Part of why I stopped working.  And when I realized how far past where I should have stopped to rest that I had pushed myself, I did a Full Stop.  Emptied my brain, started sleeping and resting as much as possible.  To my amazement, the exhaustion has neither slowed down nor abated.  I can't be sure I would be doing things correctly until I rejuvenate enough energy to be able to function properly.

I can think of three possibilities.

1. Detox.  This seems unlikely.
2. Physical Healing.  It is possible that the program is forcing your body to heal so fast it itches.
3. It's some sort of expression of fear being dealt with subconsciously.

I really have no idea which it would be... although 1 seems unlikely, I don't have a clear reason why it would be either of the other two options either.

[fab10]

I cannot explain itching unless you're itching because of healing... but it doesn't sound like that makes sense.

Where are you itching?  Need more information about the itching.

Seemingly random spots: inside of wrists, eye brows, arms, back, legs, back of the head. It’s mild and lasts a bit, then it’s gone from some spots and pops up elsewhere after a while. Sometimes it’s so mild I only notice if I pay attention, other times I find myself scratching. Isn’t it detox then? (You’re killing us by not sharing which titles we’re running   )

It could be detox.  I don't remember if detox is in Stage 1.  Honestly been so busy doing other stuff lately (preparing for my vacation) and been so exhausted, my memory isn't very good atm.  Part of why I stopped working.  And when I realized how far past where I should have stopped to rest that I had pushed myself, I did a Full Stop.  Emptied my brain, started sleeping and resting as much as possible.  To my amazement, the exhaustion has neither slowed down nor abated.  I can't be sure I would be doing things correctly until I rejuvenate enough energy to be able to function properly.

I can think of three possibilities.

1. Detox.  This seems unlikely.
2. Physical Healing.  It is possible that the program is forcing your body to heal so fast it itches.
3. It's some sort of expression of fear being dealt with subconsciously.

I really have no idea which it would be... although 1 seems unlikely, I don't have a clear reason why it would be either of the other two options either.

mmmm, a mystery. I love mysteries, as long as they have a happy ending and I am quite sure this one will. 

Let’s not forget that “we” also had pimples, that also sounds like detox me.

Anyway, you go on your well deserved holiday and forget about all of us, while RTBoss, Ryu and I keep each other updated on our respective itches. 

[RTBoss]

My itching isn't all day, but mostly at night. I get comfortable, sleepy...and then I start itching. Nose, beard, neck, upper arm, ass-cheek....F*ckin' annoying!

[fab10]

Two very vivid dreams last night. (I never dream/never remember dreams when I don’t listen to subs.)
In the one dream I remember, I was dreaming of a strong physical pain in my chest, so strong that I was worried it could be some serious disease. It was so vivid and realistic that it took a while to realize the pain was not really there when I woke up. 

Still some itching in my legs. A tiny white head on my lower eye lid, also a first and rather annoying.

 A stroke of luck: I was in litigation for several years against a business partner. Even if the right was obviously on my side (even if I say so myself), twice they bribed officials so that my file magically disappeared. I gave up litigation half a year ago because it was too much money and too much stress. Today we were informed that the tax man has opened a proceeding “ex officio” against the other party because what they were doing (and the reason why I was in litigation) raised red flags. I had not reported them to the tax authorities and the authorities who handled (should have handled) the litigation do not share information with the tax authorities. This is just “luck”. I don’t know how it will end but meanwhile I don’t have to fight or pay attorneys and they will have to face a very unpleasant conversation with the tax man.

[fab10]

Afternoon report

A second tiny pimple appeared on my other lower lid, almost symmetrical to the first one. I have never had anything like that in my life and now I have two... Not that I am worried but it points to something likely LTU related. 

A strong drive to end procrastination: I was fully determined to finally perform a task that has been on my to-do list for 5+ years. It didn’t happen because Amazon arrived very late, and that was top priority since they were delivering the speakers I need for nighttime listening. I am quite sure that it will happen on Monday, you guys will be my witnesses.

Tonight will be
August 14th, Stage 1, Day 4

[fab10]

Something went wrong last night, I am quite sure I did not listen to the prescribed 7 loops, not sure what happened. That’s the only downside of ultrasonic- if something goes wrong, you don’t notice. 

I’d rather overdo it than miss a day so I just started listening to 7 loops hybrid, at least I’ll notice if it stops playing. Today ASRB2 was supposed to start, worst case it’ll count as listening on a day off. 


No dreams last night (possibly because I was not listening...), pimples and itch almost completely gone. 

Tonight will be 

August 15th, Stage 1, Day 5 (ASRB2)

[fab10]

First day off. Had at least two vivid dreams last night. Today I was exhausted and listless, it felt almost like I had a flu. 

I finally saw a short movie a friend wrote and directed (thanks Covid, I couldn’t have seen it if the Silent River Film Festival hadn’t been moved to virtual space.) I had no idea what the movie was about, she never told, and it turns out it resonated with my deepest traumas. Ever since I started E3 three ago, I am getting more and more clarity about and understanding of my traumas. Sometimes I shed half a tear but it’s never been too painful. I expect it to heal better and more smoothly now with LTU (especially if I don’t screw up the logistics of listening.) Shannon said I should try and find the time and place to cry when that happens but that hasn’t worked out so far. 

Last night I had a strong histamine reaction- a very red, itchy and warm red spot on my hand and some itching in different places of my body. I ended up taking a pill because it was bad enough that I didn’t want to risk having an emergency in the middle of the night. It’s all gone now (but technically that pill is still working.) Pimples are now completely gone except for the minor scabs they left behind. 
Some diarrhea today. It all sounds like detox to me, but Shannon does not think so.

 A minor stroke of luck - I was going to waste time and gas money to go buy something at Home Depot’s. I really did not want to go but had to. At the very last moment we found out that what we were going to buy at Home Depot’s would not work for us and what we needed is available around the corner instead. Useless trip avoided, getting what we need piece of cake. 
I am starting to like this newfound luck. I admit that I was always whining and pitying myself for my bad luck. I am dine with that, I am a lucky person now. 

Tonight will be

August 16th, Stage 1, Day 6 (ASRB2)

[Shannon]

I would bet on it's a fear reaction, not detox. There are some parts of your subconscious that cannot communicate with the conscious mind in ways it understands, and they tend to produce rash/allergic responses sometimes. Pimples result from stress reactions, not detox. What your subconscious is telling you is that facing its fears is very stressful.

[fab10]

I would bet on it's a fear reaction, not detox.  There are some parts of your subconscious that cannot communicate with the conscious mind in ways it understands, and they tend to produce rash/allergic responses sometimes.  Pimples result from stress reactions, not detox.  What your subconscious is telling you is that facing its fears is very stressful.

Thanks Shannon. Let those fears come then! It looks like we are very well equipped to deal with them. 

[Shannon]

I mean, I could still be wrong, but... that's what I think that comes from based on what I have seen.