It's becoming a little more challenging to not be with girls, especially since it seems DMSI is kicking in more since 6 loops. Sex drive has started to come back too.
At the gym when I was warming up on the bike I was watching a girl stretching, well there was 2 but I liked 1 and went to talk to her. She reacted pretty well but then all of a sudden quickly got up, put her mat away and walked off. Which on the surface might not seem good. But i'd say it was nervousness.
Because a few minutes later she was leaving, walked past and had this big smile when I looked at her. She couldn't seem to make eye contact but the smile started as soon as I looked at her. And when she turned the corner and I looked again another big smile.
Then I was pissed off I didn't say anything again. Mainly in my mind I found it weird how she got up so quickly.. but the smiles mean I am probably right that she was just nervous.
I was thinking about her stretching when sitting at home after the gym and getting turned on. That doesn't usually happen too much. When I have sex drive I feel more 'alive' in general.. but alot of the time it's not really there. In some ways it seems to have reduced during DMSI, that's possibly the conflict with the sexual performance thing or something.
Usually it starts coming up, then short circuits.. especially if I start feeling it in public, some kind of fear has come up in the past and derailed it. Hopefully it starts to be different.
The shoe shop girl replied today and was like "Sorry I didn't reply last night, when I got home I couldn't find my phone charger."
As if.. no girl doesn't know where her charger or phone is. But unlike in the past I just laughed at it and gave her crap by sending back "Yeah sometimes it's hard to find things, like today I couldn't find my pants before the gym, some people were quite shocked but others were way more friendly than usual".
Just that is good, as in the past i'd get a bs excuse and i'd get so angry. It felt so much better to just laugh about it and give her some shit.
I got the impression she would keep messaging so tonight I just told her I was gonna go relax to stop it for now. I'm not chasing it up or going for it.. I guess she might find that unusual. I was mainly just enjoying talking to her.
I guess if a girl goes for it and there's the opportunity I might not say no. But for now i'm giving it around 3 more weeks of not being with girls.
At the gym when I was warming up on the bike I was watching a girl stretching, well there was 2 but I liked 1 and went to talk to her. She reacted pretty well but then all of a sudden quickly got up, put her mat away and walked off. Which on the surface might not seem good. But i'd say it was nervousness.
Because a few minutes later she was leaving, walked past and had this big smile when I looked at her. She couldn't seem to make eye contact but the smile started as soon as I looked at her. And when she turned the corner and I looked again another big smile.
Then I was pissed off I didn't say anything again. Mainly in my mind I found it weird how she got up so quickly.. but the smiles mean I am probably right that she was just nervous.
I was thinking about her stretching when sitting at home after the gym and getting turned on. That doesn't usually happen too much. When I have sex drive I feel more 'alive' in general.. but alot of the time it's not really there. In some ways it seems to have reduced during DMSI, that's possibly the conflict with the sexual performance thing or something.
Usually it starts coming up, then short circuits.. especially if I start feeling it in public, some kind of fear has come up in the past and derailed it. Hopefully it starts to be different.
The shoe shop girl replied today and was like "Sorry I didn't reply last night, when I got home I couldn't find my phone charger."
As if.. no girl doesn't know where her charger or phone is. But unlike in the past I just laughed at it and gave her crap by sending back "Yeah sometimes it's hard to find things, like today I couldn't find my pants before the gym, some people were quite shocked but others were way more friendly than usual".
Just that is good, as in the past i'd get a bs excuse and i'd get so angry. It felt so much better to just laugh about it and give her some shit.
I got the impression she would keep messaging so tonight I just told her I was gonna go relax to stop it for now. I'm not chasing it up or going for it.. I guess she might find that unusual. I was mainly just enjoying talking to her.
I guess if a girl goes for it and there's the opportunity I might not say no. But for now i'm giving it around 3 more weeks of not being with girls.
