Just had a realization after wondering why my motivation to do this work i've been doing is lessening.
And I realized today that as i'm feeling less in pain, my motivation to do it is lessening. Where when I was in pain it there was a strong drive to get away from that pain, so my main motivation of doing it was initially to get away from that pain, to just feel better.. I even remember that thought of when it ended with that girl of "I don't care anymore, I just want to feel better".
So what i'd like to do now, which i'm not totally sure how to. Is to move from "doing it to get away from pain" to "moving towards wholeness."
Today I was feeling relatively calm, but when I tuned into myself I noticed a certain sadness behind my eyes. But different than before, not overwhelming or anything or as intense as it usually is, not a sadness that shuts me down as usual.. My feeling says it's not as much sadness as grieving something. Hmm.
And I realized today that as i'm feeling less in pain, my motivation to do it is lessening. Where when I was in pain it there was a strong drive to get away from that pain, so my main motivation of doing it was initially to get away from that pain, to just feel better.. I even remember that thought of when it ended with that girl of "I don't care anymore, I just want to feel better".
So what i'd like to do now, which i'm not totally sure how to. Is to move from "doing it to get away from pain" to "moving towards wholeness."
Today I was feeling relatively calm, but when I tuned into myself I noticed a certain sadness behind my eyes. But different than before, not overwhelming or anything or as intense as it usually is, not a sadness that shuts me down as usual.. My feeling says it's not as much sadness as grieving something. Hmm.
