On another interesting and frustrating note.. the fears around letting go of 'needing' girls are very convincing and make me feel like it's not worth doing so or I shouldn't do so.
Such as "If I let go of this I might turn gay" or "If I let go of this i'll be alone forever and never be with a woman" as if somehow my need is keeping me connected to them and helping me to be with them. Or "I won't be able to perform sexually if I let that go".
Of course like most fears they don't make sense logically.
On a positive note i'm noticing the days where the 'need' and compulsion is less that my inspiration for other things is increased. It seems that this issue pretty much overshadowed almost everything else in my life and blocked that expression and inspiration for other things.
Seriously, almost every single time i've gone somewhere or to do something for YEARS has been in the hope of finding girls not so much for the enjoyment of it.. especially when I used to goto clubs. I NEVER remember really enjoying a club just for the sake of it, I fucking hated it and it would drain me, my only intent even when going out with friends was always to find girls.
Even during the day doing stuff that same thing has been there, i've had enough of it overshadowing everything and it feels good to just a little bit see the inspiration that might come not having that.
Such as "If I let go of this I might turn gay" or "If I let go of this i'll be alone forever and never be with a woman" as if somehow my need is keeping me connected to them and helping me to be with them. Or "I won't be able to perform sexually if I let that go".
Of course like most fears they don't make sense logically.
On a positive note i'm noticing the days where the 'need' and compulsion is less that my inspiration for other things is increased. It seems that this issue pretty much overshadowed almost everything else in my life and blocked that expression and inspiration for other things.
Seriously, almost every single time i've gone somewhere or to do something for YEARS has been in the hope of finding girls not so much for the enjoyment of it.. especially when I used to goto clubs. I NEVER remember really enjoying a club just for the sake of it, I fucking hated it and it would drain me, my only intent even when going out with friends was always to find girls.
Even during the day doing stuff that same thing has been there, i've had enough of it overshadowing everything and it feels good to just a little bit see the inspiration that might come not having that.
