07-23-2017, 09:47 PM
Todays general feeling...
"Fuck this I give up".
I felt unable to really center myself and even had the urge to go down the street to look for girls after working out. I walked around a little bit then got annoyed there wasn't much going on. Same old pattern.
Now that i'm home the general thought is "I can't be happy without girls, it's not possible, all this work i've been doing daily isn't helping that much."
And it's disturbing me how the baseline I felt I had seems gone, talked to a girl I usually do and it just felt lame and boring and was getting frustrated at that after.
Then walking down the street when I started to center myself I seen a girl when I looked in a window of a shop walking out towards me with a massive smile, I was thinking "who's that" but just reflexively kept walking like an idiot.
Great.. same old shit, no progress. I should just give up trying to find this inside myself because it's not fucking working.
Those are all the thoughts i'm having.
Still i'll do Inner Bonding today and continue the work.. but fuck, where's the results. And say I gave up working on this it's not like I could go and get heaps of girls anyway. Alot of doubts about my attractiveness today and feeling like i'm boring and my interactions are just 'friend' type interactions.
"Fuck this I give up".
I felt unable to really center myself and even had the urge to go down the street to look for girls after working out. I walked around a little bit then got annoyed there wasn't much going on. Same old pattern.
Now that i'm home the general thought is "I can't be happy without girls, it's not possible, all this work i've been doing daily isn't helping that much."
And it's disturbing me how the baseline I felt I had seems gone, talked to a girl I usually do and it just felt lame and boring and was getting frustrated at that after.
Then walking down the street when I started to center myself I seen a girl when I looked in a window of a shop walking out towards me with a massive smile, I was thinking "who's that" but just reflexively kept walking like an idiot.
Great.. same old shit, no progress. I should just give up trying to find this inside myself because it's not fucking working.
Those are all the thoughts i'm having.
Still i'll do Inner Bonding today and continue the work.. but fuck, where's the results. And say I gave up working on this it's not like I could go and get heaps of girls anyway. Alot of doubts about my attractiveness today and feeling like i'm boring and my interactions are just 'friend' type interactions.
