So I keep posting in the discussion thread more than I expected so i'll open a journal again. Who knows how long i'll keep it though.
Monday 19/6/17 - Switched to Version B.
Did 8 loops for 2 nights. Then sway testing told me 5 loops is most effective for me at a volume of 6 on my ipod which is 2 notches down from what I was doing.
First impression on waking up after doing 5 loops was good, felt better, less tired and fatigued than on 8 loops. I was sitting at my computer for a while feeling calm and peaceful.
Then around only 3 hours of being up I went and sat with my puppy and ended up falling asleep, now I feel tired and like crap. I haven't fell asleep even on 8 loops and I slept for the same amount last night.
Anyway, as I was saying in the discussion thread.. my main priority now is dealing with/healing my abandonment issue after while on A I realized how much it was affecting everything and making me try to cover it up with girls and sex. It's obviously a deeper issue that's causing issues and causes the neediness and such too. And after it come up and I thought about it alot and it become more obvious how it was affecting me and despite all the girls i've been with I don't still really feel 'worthy' or love myself that this is more important to deal with and at the moment the goal of DMSI is the less important priority.
Muscle testing also suggested Version B would be more effective at the moment for dealing with it which didn't make sense to me.. but Shannon said a few things that helped.
I've been considering doing Inner Bonding to help with this and the urge has kept coming up. But I haven't since it's using another method.. though now on B the urge become stronger again. I've been reading a book about it that is from 1990 and the first few chapters illustrated perfectly what was coming up for me with abandonment and trying to fill myself up from the outside, which hasn't worked.
Monday 19/6/17 - Switched to Version B.
Did 8 loops for 2 nights. Then sway testing told me 5 loops is most effective for me at a volume of 6 on my ipod which is 2 notches down from what I was doing.
First impression on waking up after doing 5 loops was good, felt better, less tired and fatigued than on 8 loops. I was sitting at my computer for a while feeling calm and peaceful.
Then around only 3 hours of being up I went and sat with my puppy and ended up falling asleep, now I feel tired and like crap. I haven't fell asleep even on 8 loops and I slept for the same amount last night.
Anyway, as I was saying in the discussion thread.. my main priority now is dealing with/healing my abandonment issue after while on A I realized how much it was affecting everything and making me try to cover it up with girls and sex. It's obviously a deeper issue that's causing issues and causes the neediness and such too. And after it come up and I thought about it alot and it become more obvious how it was affecting me and despite all the girls i've been with I don't still really feel 'worthy' or love myself that this is more important to deal with and at the moment the goal of DMSI is the less important priority.
Muscle testing also suggested Version B would be more effective at the moment for dealing with it which didn't make sense to me.. but Shannon said a few things that helped.
Quote:Ben, for DMSI to achieve its goal during B, you will have to have dealt with and overcome your issues with abandonment. If that were not true, it would not be something A side was working on dealing with. So if B is used, it will be dealt with regardless, but in a different way.
Quote:A is trying to dissolve the mountain. B is trying to bore through it. Both will get you through the mountain. One will do so in a more focused, faster and less gentle way... A is there for those who have such serious issues that without it, they would turn and run in response to B.
I've been considering doing Inner Bonding to help with this and the urge has kept coming up. But I haven't since it's using another method.. though now on B the urge become stronger again. I've been reading a book about it that is from 1990 and the first few chapters illustrated perfectly what was coming up for me with abandonment and trying to fill myself up from the outside, which hasn't worked.
