06-27-2018, 11:25 PM
Last night I tried to talk to my inner child. This was prompted by some more weird night-thinking.
First, I saw a whole network of interconnected fear, guilt and shame from things I do or avoid in the present being rooted in some stuff in the past some years ago, which in itself was rooted in things even earlier in my life and so on and so forth.
And second, I have been seeing clearly how much I avoid change, growth and success. It is just inches away, waiting patiently for me to be ready to grab it, but I shied and still shy away from it stagnating and burying my head in the proverbial sand.
So I tried to talk to my inner child to create a sense of inner security or something. I realized that I don't know how to talk to my younger self within. Seems like am outwardly my inner child with some paint of adulthood covering up the blatantness of the fact. And thus I found myself unable to comfort myself/inner child because I don't need comforting. And this is strange. There are some deep-seated thorns that I would like to remove, but they are not emotionally loaded in any way and so I don't know if they are still 'active' or if I have already neutralized them. I would assume that I have most of them handled by now. But I am beginning to doubt that since that would mean that I have no emotional baggage holding me back and I am still unable to move forward.
I am kinda confused on this front.
First, I saw a whole network of interconnected fear, guilt and shame from things I do or avoid in the present being rooted in some stuff in the past some years ago, which in itself was rooted in things even earlier in my life and so on and so forth.
And second, I have been seeing clearly how much I avoid change, growth and success. It is just inches away, waiting patiently for me to be ready to grab it, but I shied and still shy away from it stagnating and burying my head in the proverbial sand.
So I tried to talk to my inner child to create a sense of inner security or something. I realized that I don't know how to talk to my younger self within. Seems like am outwardly my inner child with some paint of adulthood covering up the blatantness of the fact. And thus I found myself unable to comfort myself/inner child because I don't need comforting. And this is strange. There are some deep-seated thorns that I would like to remove, but they are not emotionally loaded in any way and so I don't know if they are still 'active' or if I have already neutralized them. I would assume that I have most of them handled by now. But I am beginning to doubt that since that would mean that I have no emotional baggage holding me back and I am still unable to move forward.
I am kinda confused on this front.
_ - Third Stone From The Sun - _
