05-30-2016, 10:13 PM
(05-30-2016, 09:45 PM)SargeMaximus Wrote:(05-30-2016, 09:32 PM)chaosvrgn Wrote:(05-30-2016, 08:49 PM)SargeMaximus Wrote: But, does that mean I was on the right path all along? I mean seriously: I've gotten worse with women as the years have gone on since discovering these subs. Does that mean I was right before and have somehow triggered myself to go on the wrong path? Does it mean that these subs are the wrong path for me?
I'm very confused.
I know you asked Shannon, but I'm gonna chime in because I'm dealing with this same dilemma. I'm on month, what... 10 of AM6? In many ways, I've improved beyond measure against who I was a few years ago. When I encounter people from the past, they're constantly telling me that they don't recognize me, or they can't believe how much I've changed. But between us all, there's things that I was once amazing at and now I'm completely falling off.
For example -- my martial arts. I was once a pretty fierce fighter. You knew getting in the ring with me was going to be quite the experience because I fought with an almost primal-like fashion. The fight would start and I'd just let my lizard brain take over and unleash a wildfire. Now, I'm getting my ass handed to me by people that shouldn't even lay a hand on me -- even though I'm training MUCH MUCH harder than before (as an entrepreneur, I have TONS of time to train now).
It took me quite a while to understand what was going on. My pre-AM6 martial arts training was fueled by fear and pain, which manifested in the form of rage that I direct toward my sparring partners. Thanks to AM6, that rage has largely dissipated, and I find my training is now fueled by a quest for self-mastery. When I fight, I notice that I now focus on the body mechanics of the technique, the marriage between mind and body and I judge myself on the harmony between my intent / will and what happens, not if I'm "winning the fight."
Unfortunately, this doesn't translate well to a full contact fight. What seems like "regression" may actually be the mind trying to catch up to its new reality. In my example, it's no longer having that eternal well of pain and sorrow to fuel my fighting style, and in a way, I've become a white belt again. A beginner. My entire reason for training has changed, that quest is completely new.
It's possible that you haven't gotten "worse," per se -- since your end goal with women seems to have changed, you've got to relearn the skills in line with what your subconscious desires are NOW rather than what they WERE.
Consider it a "rebirth" of sorts -- your reality is no longer what it was. The rules of your personal reality have changed, and you've gotta go with the flow.
Brilliant post, yet I have to cross examine.
If we are to look purely at results, we can say that we are in fact worse off than we were to begin with. Maybe we are coming from a better place, but this is hardly relevant if we are no longer as good as we once were.
What else is there to consider?
EDIT: BTW, what do you mean my end goal with women seems to have changed?
The issue is in defining the notion of "being worse off." While yes, I'm not winning as many matches as I have in the past, I'm also beyond relieved that I've let go of all that anger and rage that was fueling those "wins" in the first place. In the grand scheme of things, I can still handle myself against the random person on the street, and I'm sure I'll eventually learn how to wield my newly acquired mindset in the ring -- so what did I REALLY lose outside of a toxic mindset? In my case, what's happened is a refocusing from external validation (the winning of the fights) to internal validation (the perfect execution of the technique as an expression of self). Even calling that a "regression" is a bit unfair.
It's kinda like when I got my first 5-speed car -- I totally sucked. The mechanics of driving are essentially the same. You still press various pedals and the such to operate the car, but it does indeed require a modified mindset when driving. Did my driving ability "regress," or did I simply need time to get used to a new paradigm? I can Fast and Furious a 5-speed now and in fact, I now PREFER a 5-speed transmission. Just took awhile to get used to it. You've gotta pull the future into the present and experience it all at once rather than just looking at yourself in this narrow strip in time.
As for my comment about your end goal with women changing -- I can't say to a degree of certainty that they've shifted, but I adhere to the philosophy of watching shifts in a person's outward behavior to discover shifts in their inner world (as above, so below and all that good stuff). In your case, it was the fact that you began cold approaching with a fervor. Going from 0 to 100 would indicate a change in maybe not the end goal, but at least your attitude / thoughts in regards to women.