(11-19-2016, 10:54 AM)heavysm Wrote:(11-19-2016, 08:48 AM)Ivaylo Wrote: Fourth challenge - blast from the past
Met an ISFJ girl on the trip, who reminded me a lot of my first (and up to now the only exclusive long-term) girlfriend. I was with my first girlfriend for two years and without going into details we got separated for reasons beyond our control, which was quite painful for me at the time.
Now here's this pretty (and smart) 21-year-old girl, showing me IOIs, butt displays, solid eye contact and smiling all the way. Pushed through a lot of self-hate and feeling sorry for myself (things that were brought up from my past) and made my interest clear in several ways without escalating overtly. We were always with the group, she was an ISFJ anyway so I decided to just keep the sexual and romantic tension in check until we land back in Sofia.
A few hours ago I asked her out for coffee and she was "busy this whole next week". Full stop.
This reminds me of a girl in one of my college classes getting super close to one my friends. She was pretty aggressive with the whole thing, setting up study dates and meals etc, and basically shocking the hell out of him because he couldn't believe she was interested in him.
Turns out though, that she was just incredibly social and had a bit of a problem of leading guys on.
My friend told me at the end of their study date she mentioned her 'boyfriend' a few times and it just CRUSHED him because he's pretty shy and legitimately thought she was interested in him. LOL
Even though he eventually took it well (the shock lingered for a while) it still made me laugh to no end because of how bewildered he was with the whole thing.
Apparently, she wasn't all that interested in what he had to say and kept up 90% of the conversion.
I told my friend, "Surely that was a sign from the start that she wasn't interested? I mean, it just sounds like she wanted someone to talk to...someone to vent her shit to."
Dude didn't respond
In my case I was the more talkative one, she was the shy listener who still had at least 4-5 friends in the group she could talk to if she wanted to. Two males included. She still may have used me for attention though, in which case I helped her out by not being aggressive.
Now that I come to think of it, my roommate was also a dead ringer for a very good friend of mine from the same time period - both in terms of looks and character traits. Felt like being in an alternate reality the whole time I was in Brussels.
As far as I'm concerned, this whole trip was another E2 manifestation that just needed to happen.
I've found that sometimes I have to let myself be played if I'm to break through a glass ceiling in my growth. Otherwise I'm too stubborn to admit my faulty beliefs. Not the first time I do it, but this time was definitely easier on me than before. Maybe at some point I'll actually learn to do it in advance and skip that extra step.