mat422 alpha journal

[mat422]

Glad it's not just me and others feel that way too. The good thing about it though is normally if I felt like this in the past I'd be really down on myself, but lately I've just been happier for no reason other than being alive and enjoying the simple things in life.

I have felt "out of place" almost my entire life. I think it's a matter of growing as a person, and being in the right location to resonate with the people around you. In my case, most of the people in my area are not in the same level of awareness I am. I have unfortunately been stuck living here ("here" being a part of the country that does not really resonate with me) all my life. The only times I ever felt like I was really "alive" were the times I was in Canada, Maine, Michigan and Washington State. In other words... a heck of a lot further North than where I lived all my life.

Sounds like you are growing and perhaps outgrowing the average awareness of the people where you live.

Yeah I know what you mean. This has definitely been a growing process over the years, but now with the subliminals I think I am growing at an even faster rate of awareness. I sometimes compare it to people still plugged into the matrix. I don't know, but I've never been "plugged in" and I always saw things differently than others. Then when you try to point it out it just goes right over their heads or they think you are weird. It's like some people are so controlled by the media and they don't even realize it. I actually feel that sometimes I live within a fabricated social construct and I'm operating independently of it.

The other thing is I've never been outside of America, so I've always been curious of how different it would make me feel. After the earthquake in Japan there was supposedly no looting which didn't really surprise me. If that happened in America, well I can't say for certain what would happen. But I think America has a very "every man for himself" mentality which leads to a lot of selfish behavior. I was ready to slap my brother upside his head, he said if he was in Japan he would be looting. It seems that moral and ethics aren't as ingrained in America as they are in Japan. Either that or the Yakuza makes damn sure nobody does something stupid like looting after an earthquake. But I'd like to think that the Japanese are really just that honorable.

[Jeff]

Glad it's not just me and others feel that way too. The good thing about it though is normally if I felt like this in the past I'd be really down on myself, but lately I've just been happier for no reason other than being alive and enjoying the simple things in life.

I have felt "out of place" almost my entire life. I think it's a matter of growing as a person, and being in the right location to resonate with the people around you. In my case, most of the people in my area are not in the same level of awareness I am. I have unfortunately been stuck living here ("here" being a part of the country that does not really resonate with me) all my life. The only times I ever felt like I was really "alive" were the times I was in Canada, Maine, Michigan and Washington State. In other words... a heck of a lot further North than where I lived all my life.

Sounds like you are growing and perhaps outgrowing the average awareness of the people where you live.

Yeah I know what you mean. This has definitely been a growing process over the years, but now with the subliminals I think I am growing at an even faster rate of awareness. I sometimes compare it to people still plugged into the matrix. I don't know, but I've never been "plugged in" and I always saw things differently than others. Then when you try to point it out it just goes right over their heads or they think you are weird. It's like some people are so controlled by the media and they don't even realize it. I actually feel that sometimes I live within a fabricated social construct and I'm operating independently of it.

The other thing is I've never been outside of America, so I've always been curious of how different it would make me feel. After the earthquake in Japan there was supposedly no looting which didn't really surprise me. If that happened in America, well I can't say for certain what would happen. But I think America has a very "every man for himself" mentality which leads to a lot of selfish behavior. I was ready to slap my brother upside his head, he said if he was in Japan he would be looting. It seems that moral and ethics aren't as ingrained in America as they are in Japan. Either that or the Yakuza makes damn sure nobody does something stupid like looting after an earthquake. But I'd like to think that the Japanese are really just that honorable.

I call being Neo. haha

The United States has a lot of issues that need to be eradicated for good. There are so many sides with opposing views, and our government has to go through so many checks to get a single thing done. Plus, America is BIG on not wanting to offend anybody. Several hot topics include: sex, divorce, religion, income, gays, race, gender, bullying, and even self-defense. High penalties are in order for the people who cross the line. Japan being one of my favorite countries, they all live by a set of ethics. They have been set and engrained into Japanese culture for so long. Stealing is similar to seeing a blue moon in Japan. But, I know what you mean.

[Shannon]

Japan has ethics and morals that we don't because they are not being brainwashed with "Buy it now! Nothing's good enough unless it's instant and effortless! You want to watch stupid unrealistic 'reality' TV!" In Japan, they have stupid TV, but they recognize it as stupid, and they laugh at it. Here, we take it as the gospel truth and we use it to base our reality on. I honestly don't have much hope for the United States anymore. There's so much wrong at this point with so many people and corporations profiting from what's wrong that I just cannot see it changing. For the better anyway. We are definitely headed the direction that was prophesied in the movie "Idiocracy".

[mat422]

Japan has ethics and morals that we don't because they are not being brainwashed with "Buy it now! Nothing's good enough unless it's instant and effortless! You want to watch stupid unrealistic 'reality' TV!" In Japan, they have stupid TV, but they recognize it as stupid, and they laugh at it. Here, we take it as the gospel truth and we use it to base our reality on. I honestly don't have much hope for the United States anymore. There's so much wrong at this point with so many people and corporations profiting from what's wrong that I just cannot see it changing. For the better anyway. We are definitely headed the direction that was prophesied in the movie "Idiocracy".

Woah, I made the same exact comparison about America turning into Idiocracy my senior year of high school during a psychology class lol. Everyone looked at me like I was full of it.

This clip always cracks me up, but I do fear the worst for the United States. If things get as bad as this, well I might just leave the country.

[WildFlower]

I don't know, but I've never been "plugged in" and I always saw things differently than others. Then when you try to point it out it just goes right over their heads or they think you are weird. It's like some people are so controlled by the media and they don't even realize it. I actually feel that sometimes I live within a fabricated social construct and I'm operating independently of it.

This is spot on. I totally understand where you're coming from, you've summed up exactly how it is for me too. Have you ever read Bill Bryon's 'life and times of the thunderbolt kid'? Mildly plagiarizing a theme from that book, when girls comment on my 'weirdness', 'quirkiness' or whatever, I often joke and flirt with them that I'm form another planet and I've been sent here to "fly, become invisible, shoot guns out of people's hands from a distance, and wear my underpants over my jeans like superman." This get's a laugh, but at the same time it can feel isolating. I'd be lying if I said my 'uniqueness' doesn't bring about a certain degree of loneliness though.

It totally amazes - and depresses - me how few people I meet in my day-to-day life actually think for themselves. 'herd-mentality' doesn't even begin to describe it. I'm not even particularly 'weird'; my opinions aren't out there are anything, I just happen to think for myself. I guess that's a trait enough to make anyone stand out. It's always been that way for me though. I guess we all relate to the world in different ways. I feel I relate to the world directly how it affects me emotionally; what I observe in others is they relate to the world how they are told to relate to it, or how they see others relating to it. Unfortunately in the west it seems a very superficial, materialistic way of relating. Bottomless pit.

[woceyes]

I don't know, but I've never been "plugged in" and I always saw things differently than others. Then when you try to point it out it just goes right over their heads or they think you are weird. It's like some people are so controlled by the media and they don't even realize it. I actually feel that sometimes I live within a fabricated social construct and I'm operating independently of it.

This is spot on. I totally understand where you're coming from, you've summed up exactly how it is for me too. Have you ever read Bill Bryon's 'life and times of the thunderbolt kid'? Mildly plagiarizing a theme from that book, when girls comment on my 'weirdness', 'quirkiness' or whatever, I often joke and flirt with them that I'm form another planet and I've been sent here to "fly, become invisible, shoot guns out of people's hands from a distance, and wear my underpants over my jeans like superman." This get's a laugh, but at the same time it can feel isolating. I'd be lying if I said my 'uniqueness' doesn't bring about a certain degree of loneliness though.

It totally amazes - and depresses - me how few people I meet in my day-to-day life actually think for themselves. 'herd-mentality' doesn't even begin to describe it. I'm not even particularly 'weird'; my opinions aren't out there are anything, I just happen to think for myself. I guess that's a trait enough to make anyone stand out. It's always been that way for me though. I guess we all relate to the world in different ways. I feel I relate to the world directly how it affects me emotionally; what I observe in others is they relate to the world how they are told to relate to it, or how they see others relating to it. Unfortunately in the west it seems a very superficial, materialistic way of relating. Bottomless pit.

I get people saying that to me as well. I always thought for myself and stood up for what i believed in. This of course made people think i was weird or strange. I am weird and quirky which seems to disturb people and how they should be "Normal" and i should be to. When normal is just a generally accepted perception that some one deemed the bar for society. In fact i recently on my journal posted this same type of thing but in a sense on how i feel more human. Not in the sense of items and status but more on a natural level of awareness for our world. Greater then i had already had before Alpha Male.

I always told my sister that i must be from another planet or something for me not to relate to people the way others do. Like you said Wildflower i think it has do to with most people being superficial and materialistic. it seems like they think being cool is more important then just being you. I mean money and items are just that, what happens when you take that all way. They are nothing but human like the rest of us.

[mat422]

This is spot on. I totally understand where you're coming from, you've summed up exactly how it is for me too. Have you ever read Bill Bryon's 'life and times of the thunderbolt kid'? Mildly plagiarizing a theme from that book, when girls comment on my 'weirdness', 'quirkiness' or whatever, I often joke and flirt with them that I'm form another planet and I've been sent here to "fly, become invisible, shoot guns out of people's hands from a distance, and wear my underpants over my jeans like superman." This get's a laugh, but at the same time it can feel isolating. I'd be lying if I said my 'uniqueness' doesn't bring about a certain degree of loneliness though.

Haha I'll have to check that book out.

It totally amazes - and depresses - me how few people I meet in my day-to-day life actually think for themselves. 'herd-mentality' doesn't even begin to describe it. I'm not even particularly 'weird'; my opinions aren't out there are anything, I just happen to think for myself. I guess that's a trait enough to make anyone stand out. It's always been that way for me though.

Same here. It just continues to baffle me. The more I try to understand it, the more I really don't get it. Recently my awareness has been growing and I'm just feeling more and more that I am actually in the minority. I never used to think that the large majority of people follow the herd-mentality because I tried to stay positive. But I'm constantly bombarded with evidence all the time that makes it hard to refute.

I always told my sister that i must be from another planet or something for me not to relate to people the way others do. Like you said Wildflower i think it has do to with most people being superficial and materialistic. it seems like they think being cool is more important then just being you. I mean money and items are just that, what happens when you take that all way. They are nothing but human like the rest of us.

Very true. I feel like people are lost more than ever because of today's media brainwashing them. There are so few people who just be themselves.

[Shannon]

It's always been common for people to think (and call!) me "weird" because I was different. As it turned out, it was not just me being intelligent, but me thinking for myself - and me spending time leaning and exploring ideas, instead of watching TV, cartoons, MTV, movies, smoking pot, etc. etc.

For a long time I thought there must be something wrong with me. Eventually I concluded that it was just the way things were, and I went off my own direction. As things have come into focus in the last decade, I have concluded that it isn't me being weird, it is me being different. I think for myself, I do things differently because I think differently. I see and understand things differently. I investigate things differently.

One of the biggest differences I seem to have is that when I study something, I study it starting from "I don't know" and then make it show me what it is. I also don't indulge in black and white thinking: there is always some angle I may not be aware of, and I try to keep that in mind.

The biggest problem I see with people in general these days in the United Sates is that decades of advertising hammering in the ideas that we should be lazy and let someone else do all the work, and that we should have whatever we want and have it instantly, have resulted in the populace primarily believing that they shouldn't have to think... TV and other sources will tell them what to think. That laziness leads to a lot of black and white thinking... it must be X or Y; there cannot be any other explanation. Unfortunately, our current scientific community worldwide seems to have a bad case of this sort of faulty thinking.

My experience is that there is ALWAYS a possible explanation we haven't thought of, or maybe we can't even gather the intelligence to conceive of. There's no such thing as black and white.

So I have concluded that I am different, but not strange. I have learned to be careful with people who can't or don't understand what I do. The problem, I believe is that our culture is being destroyed by this sort of TV/movie/radio/music based brainwashing that tells us, "Consume more! Consume whatever is cheapest! Consume whatever is easiest! You shouldn't have to do anything! You shouldn't have to make any effort, or wait for anything!" Consider our current TV lineups and ask yourself, what of today's TV options would be allowed to have been shown on TV 20, 40, 60 years ago? Not a whole lot! Why? Because basically a lot of what's on TV these days amounts to swill.

[boromir]

It's always been common for people to think (and call!) me "weird" because I was different. As it turned out, it was not just me being intelligent, but me thinking for myself - and me spending time leaning and exploring ideas, instead of watching TV, cartoons, MTV, movies, smoking pot, etc. etc.

For a long time I thought there must be something wrong with me. Eventually I concluded that it was just the way things were, and I went off my own direction. As things have come into focus in the last decade, I have concluded that it isn't me being weird, it is me being different. I think for myself, I do things differently because I think differently. I see and understand things differently. I investigate things differently.

One of the biggest differences I seem to have is that when I study something, I study it starting from "I don't know" and then make it show me what it is. I also don't indulge in black and white thinking: there is always some angle I may not be aware of, and I try to keep that in mind.

The biggest problem I see with people in general these days in the United Sates is that decades of advertising hammering in the ideas that we should be lazy and let someone else do all the work, and that we should have whatever we want and have it instantly, have resulted in the populace primarily believing that they shouldn't have to think... TV and other sources will tell them what to think. That laziness leads to a lot of black and white thinking... it must be X or Y; there cannot be any other explanation. Unfortunately, our current scientific community worldwide seems to have a bad case of this sort of faulty thinking.

My experience is that there is ALWAYS a possible explanation we haven't thought of, or maybe we can't even gather the intelligence to conceive of. There's no such thing as black and white.

So I have concluded that I am different, but not strange. I have learned to be careful with people who can't or don't understand what I do. The problem, I believe is that our culture is being destroyed by this sort of TV/movie/radio/music based brainwashing that tells us, "Consume more! Consume whatever is cheapest! Consume whatever is easiest! You shouldn't have to do anything! You shouldn't have to make any effort, or wait for anything!" Consider our current TV lineups and ask yourself, what of today's TV options would be allowed to have been shown on TV 20, 40, 60 years ago? Not a whole lot! Why? Because basically a lot of what's on TV these days amounts to swill.

I couldn't agree more, Shannon! That and society's egos has seemed to grown through the roof. Why every one thinks they are so high and mighty these days baffles the crap out of me. As a result you would think society in general would be more benevolent, but obviously their phone has seriously influenced there brain, way more than your subs could ever.

[batman]

i always felt like this starting my 20's, i cant connect to people that easy and i stay away from my friends because they think about all the media told them to. but i found some community where people are true to themselves in a healthy environment such as yoga classes because their conciousness is higher than those people in clubs and bar.

[mat422]

Damn, from last night to this morning something has happened that I'm not really sure what. My chest hurts pretty bad, right around my heart. No doubt this is emotional pain. Pretty much kept me up last night, so I didn't really have a good nights rest. I'll have to see how this progresses and maybe meditate on it for a while.

[mat422]

So I was fooling around with the volume last night on the ultrasonic subliminal. I used the masked stream to set the volume to a comfortable level, then switched to the ultrasonic. But I felt a lot of pressure in my head and my jaw started to ache around my ears. Also I felt a lot of anxiety and restlessness. Weird, anyway I lowered the volume until I didn't have that feeling anymore. Then I was curious so I just switched back to the masked stream and it is was really low. Like I could barely hear it at all.

I'm just wondering if it's too low? Any higher and my head feels weird. I don't want to listen to it too low but I also don't want to be listening to it at an unnecessary level. I'm thinking maybe since it's an ultrasonic frequency it doesn't cover such a wide spectrum but it is louder.

Anybody else really sensitive to the ultrasonic or get that pressure in the head feeling? I'm wondering if it's the statements in the subliminals or if it's just the sound that's causing the feeling.

[Spiral]

I have had that pressure before. But it goes away relatively quickly. Just as long as you are not having headaches you are fine. I highly recommend not turning up the ultrasonic after matching the volume with the masked version even the slightest bit. This will cause you to have a rough morning and I've had this a few times from accidentally setting the volume a little too high.

But mat, in your case it's nothing to worry about. This usually happens for a couple of days after starting a new sub because it's all new information being pounded into your brain.

[mat422]

Alright thanks. I just did a test run for a little bit with the subliminal playing at a normal level. Weird sensations. I felt very disorientated, head was pulsing, and a little nausea. I guess I'm just really sensitive to these ultrasonic subs. I'm just going to go back to what I had it to before even if it seems a little low. I'd rather not have any physical effects from the sub.