Magnus' journal

[Magnus]

Haha she was with someone else but yes quite possibly still a while away before I decide that but you never know for now its me time and me only. If only motivation would come back the last couple of days I have had no motivation to do anything except stay at home watch movies and play games. I've had to really push myself to do things. I have no motivation to socialize, go out, go to the gym or anything. Completely different from where I was a few months back. Did anyone else notice this complete lack of motivation during stage 3?

On the plus side had a dream last night of me singing in front of a crowd and everyone saying how good I was

[Shannon]

No question. She wanted to be your girlfriend. Taken or not; but she wasn't going to ive up what she had and end up in the cold by blowing it with her existing bf by flat out asking you out, which could have gotten her left out in the cold by both guys.

A lot of guys have mentioned low motivation during stages 2-3-4, which is one of the priorities for shifting in AM 5.0.

[Magnus]

Thanks Shannon. I get a little concerned at times that it may be.my depression setting back in.

So ive been getting lots of thoughts pop in to my head of th e times i was the alpha male its a bit depressing at times.

At my last job 6 years ago i was the alpha. I was theanager, everyone loved and respected me and most girls where i worked wanted me. Its bought me down a bit thinking where.i was then and where i am now. I was happy then, very overweight but happy and actually had more girls back then than i do now

[Shannon]

weight ultimately is a secondary consideration for most women. They seek nonphysical things more than men do: power, status, rank, strength of personality, wealth, ability to provide, protect, provide fun and pleasure, genetic compatibility and his emotional status and approachability.

Men tend to be much more focused on the physical signs that a woman is fit for reproduction: big boobs, round butt, sexy lips, sexual readiness and willingness, and so on. Physical attributes are what a man will first look for in a woman 99% of the time, even if he doesn't consciously realize he's doing it. Personality, intellect, etc. are usually secondary considerations.

Amusingly, each thinks the other is (and/or should) be choosing along the lines of what they themselves choose.

[Magnus]

Agree there. Its funny back then i used to think it was all about looks and didnt even realise why i would have some girls attracted to me. now i understand but cant seem toget back to where i was back then let alone further to get the life i really want. Feel like im in a rut at the moment. I know this is just a phase in alpha male and if im patient by the end of it it will all come together plus im almost half way through.

[Shannon]

There are many cycles in life. All things happen in cycles. Some cycles are long; some are short. Some cycles influence others. It is difficult to see what cycles are doing what, and how they will affect you, but there are many variables to consider. Just remember that all things balance in the end.

I am currently going through a cycle that will last about 2.5 years, which I am about 2 years into, of having difficulty in relationships and concerning sex. This cycle follows a pair of major devastating events at the beginning of the cycle, and the period of fallow, as it were, is apparently intended for me to heal within, grow from and regain my stature.

Whatever your circumstances, there is doubtless a reason for them. Sometimes, a cycle will seem to hold you down for a while. I suspect you may be being affected similarly to how I am being affected by the cycle I speak of. It sure is making things hard for me concerning sex and romance - but that is because I am not yet finished learning and growing from the particular lessons I am learning through this experience. Perhaps it is similar for you.

If you are being affected by the same cycle I am talking about concerning women, you will find that about October/November of 2012 things will start to change, and in 2013 they will be easier.

[Magnus]

Thanks shannon that helps put things in perspective for me. Ive been through a very tough 4 years and it may well be that i need time to heal from all the events of the last four years instead of trying to always plough full steam ahead. Its also interesting you mention october as i have some major life changes happening at that time. It will be the first time ive moved out of my parents place without a girlfriend.

Moving back to the positive after being put on review at work 3 weeks back i am now back on target for further payrises and promotions

[Magnus]

So at the moment it feels like i have gone backward in some areas and forward in others. I feel like my work has gone forward but most other areas have gone backward. I have also realised how im so unhappy with my life at the moment but feel no motivation or desire to move forward. Kind of that stuck between a rock and a hard place feeling

[Magnus]

Also just to add to that i feel like i have lost all the social confidence and skills that i once had. On the plus side havent had any anxiety in a typical sense.

[Ryan]

I totally had motivation issues from stages 2-4. Keep on, keep truckin'!

Ryan

[Magnus]

Cheers Ryan

No plans on stopping now ;-) im almost half way through just miss the motivation and socialising and confidence

[Ryan]

You're in the belly of the beast That's where all the good stuff is being beaten into your system. In a few weeks you'll probably see some big changes.

Ryan

[Magnus]

Cant wait for that :-) guess at the moment just ride it through

[Magnus]

Yea man I kinda feel the same way like I will get ideas and get excited about doing them then almost as if I'm to lazy not do them.

I had a read of your thread and I bet you are still glad you get AM though. I can definitely relate to the mood you were describing in each of the stages so far though