DMSI v2.4

[Steven]

Shannon,

I've been holding back for a bit to see what all might transpire.

I wish there was a way to speed this healing along. I still feel very introverted. I still talk with people and enjoy it. But I honestly just want to do my errands and get back home. Don't want to socialize much. However, I'm willing to stick with this healing. I just wish I could speed it up.

In terms of results... Women I know tend to stand closer to me and hang around me, as in trying to extend the conversation. That is actually fairly new. Usually I'm the one moving to stand closer to them, now they are the ones moving to stand closer to me. Also the hanging around. Not used to that. I find myself saying "I have to go" multiple times when I'm talking with a woman because it's as thought they won't let me go.

So those are significant developments. So thank you for that, Shannon!

[Shannon]

That is significant results. Now we just have to amplify them and finish the healing.

I will see if I can make the healing go faster and most importantly, mask it from the conscious mind, in 3.x.

[4Kingdoms]

That is significant results. Now we just have to amplify them and finish the healing.

I will see if I can make the healing go faster and most importantly, mask it from the conscious mind, in 3.x.

A naturalizer for healing!!

[Benjamin]

I will see if I can make the healing go faster and most importantly, mask it from the conscious mind, in 3.x.

This is one thing that will make me consider 3.0. As E2 can be intense at times and it's hidden from the conscious mind. And when I read what Chaos is feeling on 2.4 I know i'd get some similar intensity and i'd rather it be consciously masked like in E2.

[Steven]

@4Kingdoms

Great idea about a naturalizer for healing!

[Steven]

Shannon,

I thought perhaps by describing some healing experiences I've been having it might help.

Over all v2.2 started intense and gradually decreased in intensity. The first week was brutal. I was so nervous even going out in public. Never mind talking with women, doing so almost made me panic. That was weird because I hadn't felt that way in years! By about 6 weeks into v2.2, I felt like the healing was done or nearly done.

Then v2.4. The healing has been feeling about the same intensity throughout. Like a chronic dull droning. Fairly mild. At least 3 times a week, some new %^&$ed up idea surfaces. Nothing surprising. Just been pushed out of my conscious mind for years. I "process" it and move on.

Also I have an almost steady feeling of "vulnerability". It's not vulnerability though, it's like my muscles are more relaxed and my head is less cluttered with ideas and stupid crap. Like my ideas and tense muscles are no longer my shields against the world. I'm shieldless, therefore the feeling of vulnerability.

There has also been the experience of loss. Loss of treasured ideas about myself, women, relationships, limitations, and the world. That experience of loss though I think is inevitable.

But there is also the feeling of drudgery of all this healing. A Sisyphean task. When will it end? What can I do to get to the finish line? I know I will get the best results when the healing ends, and I want the best. What keeps me going is the thought of the rewards at the completion of healing.

My ideas have changed radically since starting the DMSI series. Not just in thought, but also with the feeling that these new ideas can be or are real.

But I think that stopping or giving up on the healing might just be the temptation of an instant gratification short cut. I want something long-term and/or permanent. If I knew the healing would take X amount of time, this would be easier.

Although I plan on downloading v2.5, I want to stick with v2.4 to keep doing the healing so the healing of v3.x should be faster. If there was something I could do to speed this along, I would.

Please know, I'm not mad. I don't feel any complaining in my intention as I write this. I'm simply hoping this will give you information to help give you ideas to guide the development of your subs in such a way the healing can be made quicker and easier.

[Shannon]

Part of the idea of 2.5 is to give you a break from the healing. Sometimes, you get worn out doing heavy work. It may be subconscious, but that sort of heavy work is still heavy work.

You do what you think is right. But, might I suggest using 2.5 for a week, and then 2.4 for a week and seeing what you think of that? You suggested I take a break. I am suggesting you do the same.

By the way, after I release 2.5 I am going to take some time off and just rest.

[Shawn]

By the way, after I release 2.5 I am going to take some time off and just rest.

I think that's a good idea after all the work and illness recently.

[Steven]

Shannon,

Ok, I will consider using v2.5 for a week. I'm a strong believer in "completing healing processes" as I've seen many people stop when they are inches away from winning a healing battle. It's difficult for me to even think about stopping the healing module for a while, but I'm willing to consider it. As tired as I feel, I just want to finish this healing so I can focus on all those sexy results we all want!

PS Rest, rejuvenate, refresh, renew, revitalize, revivify.

[Steven]

Shannon,

I reluctantly decided to not listen to v2.4 last night.

During the night, some really "core" ideas came up about life, women, myself, etc. Ideas that were more or less cherished, basic assumptions about how I think reality works. Judgements about how reality works. That there are certain things I hate about reality. How unfair certain things are and how I've been denying it for years. That was about 2 hours of processing before I went back to sleep.

When I woke, I felt more energetic than usual. I began thinking about other areas of my life to improve. I began making plans to go out this week, as well as looking forward to meeting up with a woman. Although I've given up more cherished ideas, I lack that feeling of vulnerability.

I'm thinking this might be that:

1) The healing module was almost all consuming;

2) More healing has been done than I might have realized;

3) Energy is now being more evenly distributed.

However I am worried that if all that energy may have been channeled towards healing, WTF is going on in me that would need that much energy for all that time to be healed and what's left? Have I been that brainwashed and shamed by outside influences (or even myself) for being a man and that's why it's taken so long because it's about some unchanging part of my identity?

If you have any input, Shannon, I'd appreciate it. I still want the healing to be over and am willing to do what it takes.

Regarding ideas for the healing module in the future: Is it possible the healing could occur more unconsciously in the background? Is there a way to anodynize the pain? Is there a way to buffer the emotional highs and lows?

[RTBoss]

Regarding ideas for the healing module in the future: Is it possible the healing could occur more unconsciously in the background? Is there a way to anodynize the pain? Is there a way to buffer the emotional highs and lows?

Shannon said one of the changes for 3.0.1 would be to mask the clearing from the conscious mind. It should be a smoother ride.

[Steven]

@RTBoss

Thank you for the comment!