Firstly I'm sorry if this post is in the wrong thread area, please can you move it accordingly.
Secondly I APOLOGISE for the length of this, since I'm simply asking a question and seeking help but I hope you will kindly read it all and assist me as I'm genuinely eager to fix myself
Thirdly, I've been trying to seek this answer from my forum journal but decided it may be best to have it all here in 1 place to see what you all believe is best for me. I hope this can help anyone else in my position too.
I am a student, a mature student and back at uni. I am now at the end of my 1st year and realised that no matter how many dreams and hopes I have of being a great student, I still have the same bad habits and feelings that I always had as a student since high school. Prior to high school I was fine I believe, but in high school witnessed my academic performance and habits fall.
So after many peoples advice on here I purchased my first sub which was MLS 5G. To be honest I have had issues in trying to maintain an 8hour a day listening schedule as explained in my journal, but i haven't given up and aim to fix this by listening to a sub for 8hours a day all through summer and making it a habit I continue into my 2nd year.
I now however have had a year to reflect on my studying habits and regime. I realise that i do or exhibit the following (and thus believe perhaps MLS 5G isn't right for me but another sub will be, but which?)
1) I feel content and complacent and don't do any work UNTIL a deadline literally is hours a way or a day away, then I get moving and worrying and feeling the stress. - I procrastinate I think is another way or putting this and I believe I procrastinate either due to fear or complacency or lack of drive even though I at times feel super motivated inside. There is a disconnect from what I consciously want and what I'm actually doing.
2) I feel overwhelmed sometimes by the material load and other times I feel cocky/confident/complacent.
3) I have many goals, from wanting to wake early to wanting to exercise etc and whenever I should study I avoid it by focusing on lesser priority things such as planning my goals, and trying to workout how to do them - basically I avoid the studying.
3B) I also I think feel sometimes I need everything to be in order, and start at the start of the hour (such as 4pm/4 o'clock) rather than start where I am - I think this could be a perfectionist attitude?
4) I feel tired sometimes when I should study rather than study yet will have the energy to go out, or sit in watching youtube/movies etc.
5) I go to school for just 1 hour, return and then feel I've done a days work and do nothing else.
6) I may study for 1hour then relax thinking I've done a lot and can relax.
7) I am not organised and get overwhelmed by having papers and notes all over the place. I look at other students, particularly girls, who have their notes in order, who have a system yet I don't.
8) I have hand writing that I don't like reading again so don't read my notes, or I just see pages of writing and this with my hand writing puts me off.
9) I have notes and books to read, notes to make etc but I seem to put it off as explain above until the last minute and I don't know why.
10) Time. I don't know why but time always comes up in my thoughts, such as there isn't enough time. I don't know how to explain it but sometimes I feel I don't have enough time.
11) Sometimes when I do study its slow slow slow, yet when there is a deadline, i get way more done in that time.
12) as you can imagine with the above, I feel fear and angst and stress and confusion and overwhelm too.
The above are the things i believe I have noticed. I am a bright guy, a clever guy but I'm failing at using my potential and working to my potential and it really bothers me.
The above are the things I have noticed but below I will list the things that I actually want and hope for and dream of in my mind, the expectations that I have etc:
1) I want to enjoy and love studying and being an academic.
2) I want to enjoy and love reading text books and being an A class student, such as those in movies.
3) I want to be successful in my pursuits and dreams and goals.
4) I want to have discipline and focus that I enjoy, where I can wake early sleep early and focus on my studying and school work.
5) I want the teachers to be impressed by me, and my peers at school to respect me.
6) I want to be a goal achiever, someone that is doing what he needs to do, to achieve his goals, whether that be school, learning an instrument, losing weight, eating right, hitting the gym etc. or all of this.
7) I want to be someone that others look at and think wow how does it do it all and achieve high grades or success.
8) I want to do and use smart studying techniques rather than long winded slow approaches and thus study smart.
9) I want to be smart, have common sense, pick up things quick and easily and achieve success
10) I want to have great time management, where I can switch and focus on tasks due to time etc.
11) I want to enjoy my dreams and goals and pursuing them because when i do think about the negative aspects of my goals, I feel and see things such as boredom and stress and missing out on life or fun, or facing cold dead mornings or boring early nights.
So please can someone help me
ps: could it be self sabotage that I'm doing? or simply lack of discipline? I don't know this either or what it is that I have or why so please help
Secondly I APOLOGISE for the length of this, since I'm simply asking a question and seeking help but I hope you will kindly read it all and assist me as I'm genuinely eager to fix myself
Thirdly, I've been trying to seek this answer from my forum journal but decided it may be best to have it all here in 1 place to see what you all believe is best for me. I hope this can help anyone else in my position too.
I am a student, a mature student and back at uni. I am now at the end of my 1st year and realised that no matter how many dreams and hopes I have of being a great student, I still have the same bad habits and feelings that I always had as a student since high school. Prior to high school I was fine I believe, but in high school witnessed my academic performance and habits fall.
So after many peoples advice on here I purchased my first sub which was MLS 5G. To be honest I have had issues in trying to maintain an 8hour a day listening schedule as explained in my journal, but i haven't given up and aim to fix this by listening to a sub for 8hours a day all through summer and making it a habit I continue into my 2nd year.
I now however have had a year to reflect on my studying habits and regime. I realise that i do or exhibit the following (and thus believe perhaps MLS 5G isn't right for me but another sub will be, but which?)
1) I feel content and complacent and don't do any work UNTIL a deadline literally is hours a way or a day away, then I get moving and worrying and feeling the stress. - I procrastinate I think is another way or putting this and I believe I procrastinate either due to fear or complacency or lack of drive even though I at times feel super motivated inside. There is a disconnect from what I consciously want and what I'm actually doing.
2) I feel overwhelmed sometimes by the material load and other times I feel cocky/confident/complacent.
3) I have many goals, from wanting to wake early to wanting to exercise etc and whenever I should study I avoid it by focusing on lesser priority things such as planning my goals, and trying to workout how to do them - basically I avoid the studying.
3B) I also I think feel sometimes I need everything to be in order, and start at the start of the hour (such as 4pm/4 o'clock) rather than start where I am - I think this could be a perfectionist attitude?
4) I feel tired sometimes when I should study rather than study yet will have the energy to go out, or sit in watching youtube/movies etc.
5) I go to school for just 1 hour, return and then feel I've done a days work and do nothing else.
6) I may study for 1hour then relax thinking I've done a lot and can relax.
7) I am not organised and get overwhelmed by having papers and notes all over the place. I look at other students, particularly girls, who have their notes in order, who have a system yet I don't.
8) I have hand writing that I don't like reading again so don't read my notes, or I just see pages of writing and this with my hand writing puts me off.
9) I have notes and books to read, notes to make etc but I seem to put it off as explain above until the last minute and I don't know why.
10) Time. I don't know why but time always comes up in my thoughts, such as there isn't enough time. I don't know how to explain it but sometimes I feel I don't have enough time.
11) Sometimes when I do study its slow slow slow, yet when there is a deadline, i get way more done in that time.
12) as you can imagine with the above, I feel fear and angst and stress and confusion and overwhelm too.
The above are the things i believe I have noticed. I am a bright guy, a clever guy but I'm failing at using my potential and working to my potential and it really bothers me.
The above are the things I have noticed but below I will list the things that I actually want and hope for and dream of in my mind, the expectations that I have etc:
1) I want to enjoy and love studying and being an academic.
2) I want to enjoy and love reading text books and being an A class student, such as those in movies.
3) I want to be successful in my pursuits and dreams and goals.
4) I want to have discipline and focus that I enjoy, where I can wake early sleep early and focus on my studying and school work.
5) I want the teachers to be impressed by me, and my peers at school to respect me.
6) I want to be a goal achiever, someone that is doing what he needs to do, to achieve his goals, whether that be school, learning an instrument, losing weight, eating right, hitting the gym etc. or all of this.
7) I want to be someone that others look at and think wow how does it do it all and achieve high grades or success.
8) I want to do and use smart studying techniques rather than long winded slow approaches and thus study smart.
9) I want to be smart, have common sense, pick up things quick and easily and achieve success
10) I want to have great time management, where I can switch and focus on tasks due to time etc.
11) I want to enjoy my dreams and goals and pursuing them because when i do think about the negative aspects of my goals, I feel and see things such as boredom and stress and missing out on life or fun, or facing cold dead mornings or boring early nights.
So please can someone help me
ps: could it be self sabotage that I'm doing? or simply lack of discipline? I don't know this either or what it is that I have or why so please help
OF3 5.75.7G 13/15Vol
1L-2O/3OF; (1L-2/2 5/6); (2L 19/6); (3L 27/6); (4L 9/7); (H4L 25/7)
W 19 May
MLS 5.5G: ≈70days x2, IYGSH: 54, E2: 78+48, DMSI 3.2: 56 & 22, UMOP1: 57+UMOP2: 33 = 90+10 US v12/15=100, OF: 45, OF2: 56days
1L-2O/3OF; (1L-2/2 5/6); (2L 19/6); (3L 27/6); (4L 9/7); (H4L 25/7)
W 19 May
MLS 5.5G: ≈70days x2, IYGSH: 54, E2: 78+48, DMSI 3.2: 56 & 22, UMOP1: 57+UMOP2: 33 = 90+10 US v12/15=100, OF: 45, OF2: 56days