AAM7/AM7: Time To Grow Up!

[MrGnome]

Hey Everyone, Based on Benjamins suggestion I made a new thread for AAM/AM7 

For the people who are new here lets recap what I put on the old Thread: 

AM7: Chapter Prologue:

Hey Everyone: I will take a one week break from howl and will start AM7 Stage 0 next week.

Because If anyone needs it badly than it would be me hehe..

Lets have a look at the list shall we?:

Still live with your family, and especially your mother, and even more especially your single mother, instead of having your own residence: Yes, I'm still living with my mother, My Father died 10 years ago this November..

Do not have at least one legal, reliable, stable source of income that pays your bills consistently and reliably: well, because of my autism on live on welfare

Do not have stable, reliable transportation suitable for a responsible adult man in your locale: Well I have a bus on in my neighborhood to travel to places, I cant get a car license because of slow reflection skill and my history with epileptie

Were raised by a single mother, and need to balance out the feminine influence on your upbringing: Sort of?, I did have a Father and a older brother but my Father mainly neglected me and my Brother was always outside hanging out with his friends

Were raised in a feminist family: sort of?, they aren't like the extreem editions you see on the internet but they do have a dislike for dutch man, my father didn't help with that either..

Hold feminist beliefs that are holding you back from achieving your potential and or goals as a responsible adult man: Mayby?, see next one

Have social anxiety: Yes, I'm always afraid to make small talk with people or talk with strangers, out of fear being considered creepy or annoying..

Consider yourself "woke": Nope, I Highly dislike those folks

Feel guilt, shame or anything else negative about yourself simply because you are male: Yes

Believe that women are better than, smarter than or otherwise superior to men (or you as a man): no, I believe man and woman need each other

Have been described as/are a "white knight", and it's still true: nope: I stay as far from internet arguments as possible

Have been described as/are a "simp", and it's still true: see last one

Are subscribed to one or more accounts on OnlyFans: change OnlyFans to seeing sexy pictures and videos on instagram and it becomes a yes

Are afraid of women: I'm afraid of strangers in general

Were raised in a female dominated household, with a weak father or no father figure present: like I said, A workaholic Neglectfull Father

Hide from, avoid or try to escape adult responsibility: yes, I think my hopeless job searchings made me want to hide myself back in childhood nogstalgia and try to hide the concept of getting a job as far away as possible

Identify as being a part of any group that has an identity based on weakness, failure, flaws, feminine or being any kind of loser: does neurodivergent count?

Let yourself be treated badly by others, especially females: people I met in life are actually nice, so I have no idea why I fear strangers but yeah: I do admit I'm pretty easy to manipulate..

Have been called/are an Incel, and it's still true: the best I could get was foreplay and even that was like 5/6 years ago..

Moderate a reddit forum: Nope

Have glasses that are held together with tape: I dont wear glasses

Like to go to Weenie Hut Jr.'s (and especially Super Weenie Hut Jr.'s) for a milkshake: not really but I do jam on baby shark so yeah...

Spend more than 2 hours a day gaming on a regular basis: pretty much my life, aside from scrolling the internet

Prefer to spend your time watching TV, playing games or scrolling the Internet to doing anything else: Jup, its how I distract my fear of failure

Have mommy issues or daddy issues: my Father was a Workaholic, Neglectfull, Ahole so yeah, Also despite that I'm thank full that my mother atleast loves me, she has overprotective traits..

Eat nails for breakfast.... with milk: I'm a nail biter yes

Live your life on social media, especially TikTok: Change TikTok into Youtube and it becomes a YES

Cannot or do not think for yourself: I have improved this over the past subs/exps actually : )

Believe whatever you see in the news media: Nope

Want and or allow others to direct your life, because you don't want to do it yourself: Yes, Because I have a fear of making mistakes since people most of the time yells me out for it..,

Seek permission from others to do things you should be getting permission from yourself to do: I dont know

Allow yourself to be disrespected by others on a regular basis, especially females: Both sexes pretty much

Have low self esteem, self respect and or sense of self worth: Jup, Despite being improved over the years, I still consider my self to be worthless, because I still cant make new friends or keep a job for longer than a few years

Harbor self hatred: more like a love/hate relationship

Are afraid to grow up: Yes, again because I cant keep a job for longer than a few years and my job options are getting lower and lower..

Cannot take care of yourself without help from parents, family or a girlfriend/wife because you never grew up: Yes, because my parents bearly thaught me anything..

Allow someone else to dress you when you are capable of dressing yourself: Yes

Do stupid things like get money, and then blow it on something you merely want, instead of paying your rent, when doing so will prevent you from being able to pay your rent: Jup, I wasted money on lootboxes.. and upgrading daily items when they aren't broken

Think the United States is still a "patriarchy": I'm European but I dont think so..,

Would get married without a per-nuptial agreement: No idea what per-nuptial is but probbably yes

Would get married at all, and you live in the United States, and have no awareness of how the laws and family courts are arrayed against you: Again I'm European but Yes in european version.., I'm aware of how they are againts me though.., I just want a happy familly of my own..

Consider yourself submissive, especially to one or more females: Yes

Are a shut-in because of anxiety: Yes

Would rather masturbate than have sex with someone else because of anxiety: Yes,

Prefer to have someone direct you or tell you what to do, even outside of work: Yes

Have traumas that work against you for becoming a fully responsible adult man: Yes

So yeah...,

Based on this things its clear that I have to use AM7 Stage 0, More than once, because I really need to learn to grow up..,

Even more so since I will turn 36 years old this year

(also, I wish I knew how to change Letter styles, to make the list more enjoyable to read..)

As You can see, I just figured out how to change the Letter Fonts haha xD 

Also another interesting thing is: I just made the playlist ready and ofcourse I press accidently on track that plays it self.., it was just 5 seconds but I could already feel the warmth that came with it.

So Yeah, I cant wait to use it this evening! 

[Benjamin]

Cool.

I thought you must have started it, so you're about to start it in the next few days I assume?

I'm curious to see how it goes for you.

[MrGnome]

Cool.

I thought you must have started it, so you're about to start it in the next few days I assume?

I'm curious to see how it goes for you.

Nope, I will start it this evening and it could be possible that i'm being bad at counting a whole week xD, As I was unsure whether to start Yesterday or Today, So It became today, as in this evening : )

[MrGnome]

AAM7/AM7-Stage 0-Day 1:

Thank God, that I stayed awake for 3 hours, Otherwise I would have listened 8 hours to it...,

Yeah its this crap again, where Music apps wont let you loop the track 4 times >.<, (seriously how are others doing this..).

The App I used in the past now allowes me to only put it one time in the playlist not 4 times and other apps treat it like one track so it will just be an endless loop uugh..,

Oh well, its only 4 months hehe..

Anyway, I'm Extreemly tired and yet my procrastination seems to be a bit reduced now. 

I also feel better without being able to describe it.., hmmm, more like both energetic and extreemly tired?

thats the closest to my feelings at least..

(also it seems like I cant chance fronts again haha xD)

(Okay seems to only work in full edit mode..)

[Have at ye]

I use the foobar2000 app. You can set up a playlist with 4 loops exact. The app interface takes some getting used to, but once you know how to do it it's easy (set up a playlist, add AM7 Stage 0 to it 4 times, et voila).

[MrGnome]

I use the foobar2000 app. You can set up a playlist with 4 loops exact. The app interface takes some getting used to, but once you know how to do it it's easy (set up a playlist, add AM7 Stage 0 to it 4 times, et voila).

I got it set up, Thank you, Very much! 

[Have at ye]

No probs! All the best in your run, it's one heck of a program.

[Shannon]

Please be careful not to let that happen again. Too much of this at once is NOT a good thing. Set a timer when you tun it, if you must.

[MrGnome]

Please be careful not to let that happen again.  Too much of this at once is NOT a good thing.  Set a timer when you tun it, if you must.

No Worries, The advice I got from Have at ye Has fully fixed the problem. 

Also, I funny enough, feel less tired using this sub/exp : )

(this is day 2 btw)

[Shannon]

Another option, if you're using Android, is Pulsar. It also allows multiple repetitions of the same title in a playlist.

Less tired is usually an indication that some part of you is trying to drag you down (or even into sleep) to hide from something it fears. Pushing back against it sufficiently will result in more energy being experienced.

[MrGnome]

AAM7/AM7-Stage 0-Day 4:

Welp, I sure am Tired now hehe.., I cant even do anything today..

So I guess the party is finally starting..

Even though, Yesterday: I had alot of fun at the end of my voice acting bootcamp, untill I had some problems with the busses.. but even then I wasn't this tired, So it has to be the sub/exp..

Heck my Mother even thought I had Depression hehe..

I know I have been even more tired than this before in the past.. but atleast I could still do stuff..

[MrGnome]

AAM7/AM7-Stage 0-Day 8:

Right now, I'm very annoyed..,

Like My Mother asked me to walk out the dog, Who is a very interesting one as she doesn't even want to walk.

Like not at all..,

So I tried to walk with her but for some reason my Mother and my Sister thought it was a good idea..

to walk out of the same door at the same time that I tried to get the dog out

wich made it even freaking harder to do so and its also resulted in Dog Harness being weaker..

as the simple fact that the 2 of us weren't alone in that door opening made it even harder to get her out..

So We finally got out, so I tried to walk with her and she already resisted and for the first time was able to get her dog harness out..

THANK GOD, SHE DIDN'T WALK AWAY AGAIN, BECAUSE HOLY SHIT!!

WHY IS IT SO HARD TO FREAKING WAIT TILL I'M GONE FIRST -_-..

Yeah as you can tell I'm very pissed and aggresive at this moment, not to the point of hurting people

but its so tempting to yell at them, at this very moment >.<

I dont know if its AM7, that made me even more aggresive than before but still..

I'm getting tired of being treated like a joke -_-

(also yes, I did pull the dog but I always do this while I walk with her, yes she is that lazy)..

Mayby that I'm in the wrong but please let me do the freaking task you (my mom) gives me -_-

(the worst part being that I would totally get blamed for her death, if she did walk away.. -_-)

[Benjamin]

I can explain what's happening from my usage of past AM versions and reports of others.

It can be summed up by your comment at the end "I'm sick of being treated like a joke."

Basically you already didn't like this kind of treatment, but it's likely that fear and low self worth stopped you speaking up.

A part of AM, which will be much more refined in this version than earlier versions is that sometimes what it takes for you to finally stand up for yourself if you usually don't say anything is having enough anger to break through that and finally do so.

The early stages of the previous versions this was pretty pronounced and it tends to even out and get refined by the end, but it's part of the process that is needed to get you to stand up for yourself.

This comes along with shifting your beliefs towards more self respect, before AM7 you already didn't like this treatment but likely had limiting beliefs feeling like you weren't allowed to stand up for yourself or didn't deserve to for example.. AM7 is pushing you to have more self respect and that would include standing up for yourself.

Externally it may seem like a small situation, but emotionally it's a pattern of treatment you've been dealing with so it makes alot of sense, and is part of the process.

Initially it's also likely that when you do stand up for yourself the other people will get upset and try to push it back onto you, but that generally happens when they have pushed you around so much and they aren't used to you standing up for yourself.

They want to keep you where they are comfortable, and you're starting to move out of that.

So yes it's not fun, but it is a good sign that AM7 is working.

[Have at ye]

Addendum the the above great post - the mixture of Primal Masculinity and Aura of Love from PTRA in Stage 0 is going to make most people a) more respectful towards you (some might, as they say, "shit test", but only morons do that and you'll find yourself either ignoring it with a smirk and a roll of the eyes or giving them what-for) and b) way nicer towards you at the same time, so it's a proper environment finally to heal and grow.