03-20-2019, 01:47 PM
I’m just starting my third ASRB break. Things are progressing nicely. I’ve noticed a couple of other things.
- I am now able to set aside things that are in a liminal state when I can’t do anything to effect the outcome. It’s been quite a while since I interviewed for that job. That used to drive me crazy. At this point I would be crawling out of my skin before. Now, I still think about it, but have much more of an “it happens when it happens” attitude. I also recognize that in this kind of hiring process, it can take forever and no news is good news. USLM did this for me somewhat, but this is next level. I am just plain not worried about it at all.
- I am feeling a mental conflict of sorts, but it’s not much of one. This mental stuff it hard to describe but I can feel the old negative patterns struggling to reassert themselves. However the new programming isn’t giving it a chance. I’m a BJJ student , so I’ll use this metaphor. The old patterns are a 120 pound guy who just walked into their first class, and the new is a 230 pound black belt restraining it. The struggle isn’t over, but the result is inevitable. This program just plain gained dominance over the bad mental stuff so fast and hard, it (I guess the “old me”) didn’t know what hit it until it was too late for it to put up a fight. This is almost the opposite of how things used to be when I had to push any progress past hugely dominant negative thought patterns.
- My wife hasn’t been criticizing me much lately. Unfortunately she IS criticizing our roommate TO me. She won’t confront the roommate directly because she’s here to watch our son so we don’t have to put him in child care. (This is a really good lady who we’ve known for almost twenty years) and the wife is afraid she’ll leave. She still comes off like she’s angry at me, and seems to expect me to do something about it, but I suppose this is progress anyway.
- I am now able to set aside things that are in a liminal state when I can’t do anything to effect the outcome. It’s been quite a while since I interviewed for that job. That used to drive me crazy. At this point I would be crawling out of my skin before. Now, I still think about it, but have much more of an “it happens when it happens” attitude. I also recognize that in this kind of hiring process, it can take forever and no news is good news. USLM did this for me somewhat, but this is next level. I am just plain not worried about it at all.
- I am feeling a mental conflict of sorts, but it’s not much of one. This mental stuff it hard to describe but I can feel the old negative patterns struggling to reassert themselves. However the new programming isn’t giving it a chance. I’m a BJJ student , so I’ll use this metaphor. The old patterns are a 120 pound guy who just walked into their first class, and the new is a 230 pound black belt restraining it. The struggle isn’t over, but the result is inevitable. This program just plain gained dominance over the bad mental stuff so fast and hard, it (I guess the “old me”) didn’t know what hit it until it was too late for it to put up a fight. This is almost the opposite of how things used to be when I had to push any progress past hugely dominant negative thought patterns.
- My wife hasn’t been criticizing me much lately. Unfortunately she IS criticizing our roommate TO me. She won’t confront the roommate directly because she’s here to watch our son so we don’t have to put him in child care. (This is a really good lady who we’ve known for almost twenty years) and the wife is afraid she’ll leave. She still comes off like she’s angry at me, and seems to expect me to do something about it, but I suppose this is progress anyway.