07-11-2018, 03:46 AM
Definitely some reevaluating needs to happen with how I approach things in life. DMSI is definitely having a ripple effect where it corrects other areas of my life as well. So basically I was working on another track last night and I found myself being discontent with what I created. I found myself telling myself that I needed to be more accepting of whatever music I make, but then I realized that was a copout. I've started finishing more songs, but it's been within the bounds of my comfort zone. Sticking to what I know for certain. That's a recipe for artistic death. Sure if I stick to what I know I can make a song, but that shouldn't be the goal. I shouldn't rush to the finished stage just so I can have the immediate gratification of having finished something.
It made me really think of my life in general. I have such a small pool of knowledge and experience and I rely on it way too much. But I do that because of fear. I like knowing that I have certainty in something, it makes me feel safe. The problem is it becomes a crutch and it's severely limiting. It also has me pull from predominantly negative experiences from the past which colors my perception of things. I never had a really positively reinforced life growing up. I hit my head against a lot of perceived failure and shortcomings. I can tell DMSI is pushing me to expand this pool and I feel like I just have to take a leap of faith and trust in it. Because where I'm at now is very stagnant, running the same old routines and mindsets solely because I know the outcome.
It made me really think of my life in general. I have such a small pool of knowledge and experience and I rely on it way too much. But I do that because of fear. I like knowing that I have certainty in something, it makes me feel safe. The problem is it becomes a crutch and it's severely limiting. It also has me pull from predominantly negative experiences from the past which colors my perception of things. I never had a really positively reinforced life growing up. I hit my head against a lot of perceived failure and shortcomings. I can tell DMSI is pushing me to expand this pool and I feel like I just have to take a leap of faith and trust in it. Because where I'm at now is very stagnant, running the same old routines and mindsets solely because I know the outcome.
INFP