07-02-2018, 02:14 PM
Had a stressful day at work today. Everything failing left and right. It got to a point where I was being called out by a manager for taking too long to fix something. And I took it like a champ right? Nope. Shook me up to my core. Could barely put together a sentence for why we were having the issues and what I was doing to resolve them.
A lot of the times in the past when I got confronted I'd get angry. But the anger was just to cover up for the fact that I felt really sensitive and felt weak. I could sit here and put up the walls again, attack the character of the person that got confrontational to make myself feel better, and get really into the I don't care mentality. But I'm not going to do any of those things. I'm going to acknowledge how I'm feeling and do my best to let it go. To not internalize that negative energy and take it personally.
But goddamn, I'm still sensitive. I'm trying not to do the whole "look how stoic I am" when I'm not. If I want to stop being so reactive I have to first acknowledge just how reactive I'm being.
A lot of the times in the past when I got confronted I'd get angry. But the anger was just to cover up for the fact that I felt really sensitive and felt weak. I could sit here and put up the walls again, attack the character of the person that got confrontational to make myself feel better, and get really into the I don't care mentality. But I'm not going to do any of those things. I'm going to acknowledge how I'm feeling and do my best to let it go. To not internalize that negative energy and take it personally.
But goddamn, I'm still sensitive. I'm trying not to do the whole "look how stoic I am" when I'm not. If I want to stop being so reactive I have to first acknowledge just how reactive I'm being.
INFP