01-24-2018, 07:14 AM
New update
I have anxiety.
I dont have it until my exam nears, then the fear of knowing nothing and the fear of not studying hits me.
All year long ill be relaxed or not feel this negative energy at all or rather not enough to have me work and push me to study.
I only feel it when I am worried or others around me worry and involve me in their negative energy as is the case at the moment.
I want to be immune from other peoples negative energy but I also want to clear whatever is inside me so that I can move forward.
I am thinking therefore either the worry is only in my when I have an issue or I have worry inside me that is apathetic or invisible to me, I squeeze it down until i feel it at the time of the deadlines etc.
I dont know what I have all I know is that I am someone that wants to change and be a success and be driven not someone that lives in this negative situation.
I have been and will make conscious changes as I can, I try to set goals and daily to do lists and I attend all my classes and try to find solutions to my current ineffective habits but I am not clearing anything within.
I know also that constantly going home and coming back disrupts me and doesnt allow me to get daily consistent listening of these subs.
I know that not having a bedroom in the UK home prevents me from having the full exposure of these subs too.
I have therefore decided that once I am back in february, to listen to the subs (hybrid, or silent or both depending on how that night goes), but also once im back to try and not go back to the UK for atleast 3months.
I need to build daily consistent routines, rituals and habits if im to make changes in my life.
I need to read books for my degree daily, if even just for 10mins, and I need to study daily and exercise daily and sleep properly daily and also not be disrupted so easily by porn and social media.
When I am feeling this anxiety and this fear and this procrastination I then turn to my phone or my laptop and browse porn even though im not horny and have no need to and I play phone games or check emails or run to this site or others etc.
The point is I need to set times of when im going to work and when im going to play, when im going to slepe and when im going to eat.
I eat for 2hrs, because I am not disciplining my self daily to become the person I want to become which is an achiever. I dont mind eating for 2hrs (I mean I have 2hrs for meal time where I watch a show and eat)....so im going to change this.
I am going to eat not where I sit and study. I am going to make time to eat away from my study desk.
I am also not going to check emails here or the internet either.
I will clear my dinning room desk, I will eat on 1 chair and I will browse the internet on another chair.
I will also play games at this dining table area too.
My desk at home is and should only be for studying.
I need to also study away from my apartment. I need to use a coffee shop or a library or a study room but use 2 of these ideally.
I can study at home but only on those times if I must be home otherwise home should be for eating and sleeping now otherwise will procrastinate more.
I need to procrastination to be difficult, I need it to stop and I need to be more aware and focused of my time and what I am doing.
I think I find it hard to switch from play to work and to play. When I play/have fun I do need it to continue and when I work I need to be in that zone.
let me know what you all think but this is my plan.
I have anxiety.
I dont have it until my exam nears, then the fear of knowing nothing and the fear of not studying hits me.
All year long ill be relaxed or not feel this negative energy at all or rather not enough to have me work and push me to study.
I only feel it when I am worried or others around me worry and involve me in their negative energy as is the case at the moment.
I want to be immune from other peoples negative energy but I also want to clear whatever is inside me so that I can move forward.
I am thinking therefore either the worry is only in my when I have an issue or I have worry inside me that is apathetic or invisible to me, I squeeze it down until i feel it at the time of the deadlines etc.
I dont know what I have all I know is that I am someone that wants to change and be a success and be driven not someone that lives in this negative situation.
I have been and will make conscious changes as I can, I try to set goals and daily to do lists and I attend all my classes and try to find solutions to my current ineffective habits but I am not clearing anything within.
I know also that constantly going home and coming back disrupts me and doesnt allow me to get daily consistent listening of these subs.
I know that not having a bedroom in the UK home prevents me from having the full exposure of these subs too.
I have therefore decided that once I am back in february, to listen to the subs (hybrid, or silent or both depending on how that night goes), but also once im back to try and not go back to the UK for atleast 3months.
I need to build daily consistent routines, rituals and habits if im to make changes in my life.
I need to read books for my degree daily, if even just for 10mins, and I need to study daily and exercise daily and sleep properly daily and also not be disrupted so easily by porn and social media.
When I am feeling this anxiety and this fear and this procrastination I then turn to my phone or my laptop and browse porn even though im not horny and have no need to and I play phone games or check emails or run to this site or others etc.
The point is I need to set times of when im going to work and when im going to play, when im going to slepe and when im going to eat.
I eat for 2hrs, because I am not disciplining my self daily to become the person I want to become which is an achiever. I dont mind eating for 2hrs (I mean I have 2hrs for meal time where I watch a show and eat)....so im going to change this.
I am going to eat not where I sit and study. I am going to make time to eat away from my study desk.
I am also not going to check emails here or the internet either.
I will clear my dinning room desk, I will eat on 1 chair and I will browse the internet on another chair.
I will also play games at this dining table area too.
My desk at home is and should only be for studying.
I need to also study away from my apartment. I need to use a coffee shop or a library or a study room but use 2 of these ideally.
I can study at home but only on those times if I must be home otherwise home should be for eating and sleeping now otherwise will procrastinate more.
I need to procrastination to be difficult, I need it to stop and I need to be more aware and focused of my time and what I am doing.
I think I find it hard to switch from play to work and to play. When I play/have fun I do need it to continue and when I work I need to be in that zone.
let me know what you all think but this is my plan.
OF3 5.75.7G 13/15Vol
1L-2O/3OF; (1L-2/2 5/6); (2L 19/6); (3L 27/6); (4L 9/7); (H4L 25/7)
W 19 May
MLS 5.5G: ≈70days x2, IYGSH: 54, E2: 78+48, DMSI 3.2: 56 & 22, UMOP1: 57+UMOP2: 33 = 90+10 US v12/15=100, OF: 45, OF2: 56days
1L-2O/3OF; (1L-2/2 5/6); (2L 19/6); (3L 27/6); (4L 9/7); (H4L 25/7)
W 19 May
MLS 5.5G: ≈70days x2, IYGSH: 54, E2: 78+48, DMSI 3.2: 56 & 22, UMOP1: 57+UMOP2: 33 = 90+10 US v12/15=100, OF: 45, OF2: 56days