Most definitely neat to hear about this from the woman's perspective. I think if there were more women here writing honestly about their desires and limitations, it'd really "show the other" side to both sexes and lead to more understanding & empathy and away from "manipulating bit*hes" and "lying as*holes" type of thinking.
We had an interesting short exchange about "easy" HERE (posts #4 to #6). From my perspective, the 3 women I've been most into for long-term exclusive dating have all been comfortable with sex the 1st time they or I came over, which was always the 2nd time we ever met. I'm currently not looking for an exclusive relationship (though I am looking for longer-term relationships with women I really enjoy being with), and if you wanted to filter a guy out for that the best way would probably be to ask him during the date: what does he think of relationships or what is he currently searching for. The more relaxed and present he'll be in his response will show you his level of self-acceptance. Or you could say how you feel about things once he's tried to move things forward and see how he responds. If he's more in his head or more relaxed and present. Aaanyways, good luck!
(06-06-1973, 12:07 AM)Athena Wrote: There's also all this stuff I've read on most dating forums about letting guys approach me but it sometimes feels like why SHOULD I be so restricted JUST because of my gender.I've been meaning to check out some dating product for women just out of interest.. But yes, agreed! And it shouldn't take you that much effort at first either. I mean if you just start saying "hi" or whatever casual, positive comment and remaining close by & open with your body language after that, then I'm sure some men will see that as an opportunity for THEM to "approach" you if they want, even if you actually just did the initial work. Then see if you want to take the approaching further or not.
(06-06-1973, 12:07 AM)Athena Wrote: I have a bit of a concern that if I DO crack this and I can approach guys and start conversations, will they assume I am "easy" or only want sex or will it help increase my pool of guys available to me to also include the shyer types who might WANT to move a little slower.Gotta say I don't get approached by women, so this is not coming from actual experience.. but there are different kinds of men ;) I think men that feel they must "get" sex from women by winning them at their games might get their hopes up because you seem so open and "easy", and they might thus expect easy (fast) sex on the date. They might then not value you as highly as the more hard-to-get women, because for them its all about the challenge. On the other hand, men who seek more to make a connection first (which will then likely lead to sex at some point if the connection is good & fun) will most probably be impressed by the level of openness you're displaying by taking the initiative. Of course it's still your job to figure out what the other person is like.
We had an interesting short exchange about "easy" HERE (posts #4 to #6). From my perspective, the 3 women I've been most into for long-term exclusive dating have all been comfortable with sex the 1st time they or I came over, which was always the 2nd time we ever met. I'm currently not looking for an exclusive relationship (though I am looking for longer-term relationships with women I really enjoy being with), and if you wanted to filter a guy out for that the best way would probably be to ask him during the date: what does he think of relationships or what is he currently searching for. The more relaxed and present he'll be in his response will show you his level of self-acceptance. Or you could say how you feel about things once he's tried to move things forward and see how he responds. If he's more in his head or more relaxed and present. Aaanyways, good luck!
Thoughts, opinions and beliefs subject to change without prior notice.