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+--- Thread: Approach anxiety 4 women & attractive men (/Thread-Approach-anxiety-4-women-attractive-men)
Approach anxiety 4 women & attractive men - Athena - 08-16-2014
16/08/14
(Probably would be fine to journal in family/work safe but moved it here just in case.)
Hi.
I quite like this idea of journalling about our experiences with using the subliminals from here. I have a few and will get some more but I want to journal about my experiences so far.
Be a magnet to attractive, handsome men and Overcome approach anxiety for women.
Well, I have only been listening to these for a
few days but right from the first or second day I
HAVE noticed subtle changes. What I mean by
that is, guys in the street making eye contact
with me, but looking relaxed and I've smiled and
they've smiled back. It used to be they would
look scared but now I am noticing looks of
interest from some guys, even some good looking
ones and the smiling back.
I have even smiled a couple of times at a guy, realized then he was with a girl, he has smiled back then attention back to her but instead of me feeling guilty or afraid of causing a scene and getting in trouble, it's been a brief, pleasant interaction. I'm not yet confident enough to talk to guys, to initiate that, but it's a good start. and definitely an improvement!
As it has been, I am someone who has been doing well with online dating, I manifested that, YAY! but can be quite shy to talk to guys in the street, for example and some guys in this city seem quite shy.
I have a bit of a concern that if I DO crack this and I can approach guys and start conversations, will they assume I am "easy" or only want sex or will it help increase my pool of guys available to me to also include the shyer types who might WANT to move a little slower.
But I decided recently to experiment with all this and if I don't like the changes, I'm sure I can change back. There's also all this stuff I've read on most dating forums about letting guys approach me but it sometimes feels like why SHOULD I be so restricted JUST because of my gender.
I'm hoping overcoming my approach anxiety will open up more choices for me. Anyway, it's fun to experiment.
I'm very very fussy and only find about 10% of guys attractive and it will be interesting to see what changes happen with the one on attractive men. Lots of subs here interest me and step by step, I look forward to exploring! Anyway, that's my results so far with those two.
RE: Approach anxiety 4 women & attractive men - stratos - 08-16-2014
Neat to hear about this from the woman's perspective.
RE: Approach anxiety 4 women & attractive men - JackOfHearts - 08-16-2014
With the subliminal your facial will change or already has so guys will see as you more attractive.
All guys will say that they go for boobs and ass but in reality a female who is emotionally free from fear, guilt and past trauma will looks more attractive. It's the same the other way around.
I don't think guys will think you are an easy girls if you ain't. Personally I wouldn't think that, a lot of guys play the though guys but inside they are most likely more naive than girls (they think a girl would save them from their misery life).
In black on white it would easier to read though. I have sensitive eyes
RE: Approach anxiety 4 women & attractive men - Athena - 08-16-2014
Ha ha guys sometimes compliment on the boobs & ass too
but I agree that being "emotionally free from fear, guilt and past trauma will looks more attractive." It will DEFINITELY add to it.
And probably attract much better types of guys, emotionally healthy ones.
So I do inner work too. And I think and hope these subliminals will give out good vibrations, helping me to be more confident, for instance.
I'm debating doing the Alpha Female subliminal at some stage but not just yet, although I've mostly read about the Alpha Male results. I guess if I DON'T like it, I can always go back to being a Beta gal again!
But that's all for a much later journal.
I have managed to be more of a man magnet than I was but lately it's quite sexual and although some of you want more sex, I no longer have a problem of attracting good looking people wanting to have sex with me but I do have the problem of not getting as many offers for actual dates. Sometimes I do and I have been on some lovely dates this year, and I want that...not quite ready for another boyfriend yet but want to attract more romantic guys and more dates somehow. Actual dates not hey baby do you wanna hook up. That's a big part of the reason too that I want to move from online dating to attracting guys offline instead, they might move more slowly I think guys get way more confident online and will try to just go for the kill! Some of them.
So if anyone has any subs to recommend at this site to help PLEASE tell me.
I'm heh heh also gonna try a couple for attracting different kinds of guys and when I am ready for it, I am going to try the boyfriend ones and see what happens. And by the way I am very very honest with any guy! Plus try out some products for OTHER areas of my life. Hypnosis & subliminals seem to work very well on me for some reason. So, this should be quite interesting!
RE: Approach anxiety 4 women & attractive men - adam225 - 08-16-2014
Hehe, I love a girl with nice tits and a tight ass
.Good luck with your journey Athena
.
RE: Approach anxiety 4 women & attractive men - LionKing - 08-16-2014
Most definitely neat to hear about this from the woman's perspective. I think if there were more women here writing honestly about their desires and limitations, it'd really "show the other" side to both sexes and lead to more understanding & empathy and away from "manipulating bit*hes" and "lying as*holes" type of thinking.
(06-06-1973, 12:07 AM)Athena Wrote: There's also all this stuff I've read on most dating forums about letting guys approach me but it sometimes feels like why SHOULD I be so restricted JUST because of my gender.I've been meaning to check out some dating product for women just out of interest.. But yes, agreed! And it shouldn't take you that much effort at first either. I mean if you just start saying "hi" or whatever casual, positive comment and remaining close by & open with your body language after that, then I'm sure some men will see that as an opportunity for THEM to "approach" you if they want, even if you actually just did the initial work. Then see if you want to take the approaching further or not.
(06-06-1973, 12:07 AM)Athena Wrote: I have a bit of a concern that if I DO crack this and I can approach guys and start conversations, will they assume I am "easy" or only want sex or will it help increase my pool of guys available to me to also include the shyer types who might WANT to move a little slower.Gotta say I don't get approached by women, so this is not coming from actual experience.. but there are different kinds of men ;) I think men that feel they must "get" sex from women by winning them at their games might get their hopes up because you seem so open and "easy", and they might thus expect easy (fast) sex on the date. They might then not value you as highly as the more hard-to-get women, because for them its all about the challenge. On the other hand, men who seek more to make a connection first (which will then likely lead to sex at some point if the connection is good & fun) will most probably be impressed by the level of openness you're displaying by taking the initiative. Of course it's still your job to figure out what the other person is like.
We had an interesting short exchange about "easy" HERE (posts #4 to #6). From my perspective, the 3 women I've been most into for long-term exclusive dating have all been comfortable with sex the 1st time they or I came over, which was always the 2nd time we ever met. I'm currently not looking for an exclusive relationship (though I am looking for longer-term relationships with women I really enjoy being with), and if you wanted to filter a guy out for that the best way would probably be to ask him during the date: what does he think of relationships or what is he currently searching for. The more relaxed and present he'll be in his response will show you his level of self-acceptance. Or you could say how you feel about things once he's tried to move things forward and see how he responds. If he's more in his head or more relaxed and present. Aaanyways, good luck!
RE: Approach anxiety 4 women & attractive men - Shawn - 08-16-2014
(08-16-2014, 07:14 AM)Athena Wrote: I have a bit of a concern that if I DO crack this and I can approach guys and start conversations, will they assume I am "easy" or only want sex or will it help increase my pool of guys available to me to also include the shyer types who might WANT to move a little slower.
Well, I got approached a few times by women and I found it cool. There may be a sort of guys who judge you in some way but I think it's not the type of guy you are going to attract with this sub. Some of them may even think you want just sex, but it does not mean they think it in a bad way but more like "Oh, cool, she wants sex, too". So at the end it definitely isn't a bad thing.
RE: Approach anxiety 4 women & attractive men - ffaux - 08-16-2014
(08-16-2014, 07:14 AM)Athena Wrote: I have a bit of a concern that if I DO crack this and I can approach guys and start conversations, will they assume I am "easy" or only want sex or will it help increase my pool of guys available to me to also include the shyer types who might WANT to move a little slower.
I've been approached a few times by girls as well and I've always really liked it. It has ranged all the way from a girl casually joining my conversations but clearly being interested in me all the way to me walking in a room and the girl getting up and coming up to talk to me straight away. It's a good feeling when someone expresses interest in you, no matter how subtle or obvious. I've always been really enamoured by it and usually I have been really into the girl too as a result when it has happened. I think you'd have to be pretty damn insecure to think badly of a girl for having the courage you lacked
In which case that's not the type of guy you'd want to be around anyway.I'm really interested in this journal. Looking forward to reading it Athena.
RE: Approach anxiety 4 women & attractive men - Shannon - 08-18-2014
In my experience, 99% of guys (including myself) LOVE it when a woman approaches them or initiates a date or sex with them. It tells him that he's attractive, and that she's not going to be a needlessly helpless lump in the relationship. My motto is that if a woman asks me out, initiates, etc. she's half way to a "yes" just because she took the initiative. I love it, and it also makes me admire her more as a strong woman, which I find VERY attractive.
RE: Approach anxiety 4 women & attractive men - Athena - 08-19-2014
Thank you so much for these awesome replies and even one from Shannon. Thank you for making this, Shannon.
I was in a club on Saturday night and I WAS wearing pheromones too but I also got a LOT more attention than usual in there, definitely.
I had this guy try to hit on me several times. He was cute but not enough of my type but I was nice without leading him on. He wanted me to teach him to dance like me and he asked my name and kept trying to dance with me. I had another good looking guy make mutual eye contact and hold it a couple of times but then saw he had a girlfriend so I backed off.
And a third guy said - they played a rock song and for fun I did head banging with my long hair ha ha! - and after that he looked at me and said, sincerely, "You have LOVELY hair." He had a Ronald McDonald wig on so I patted it and said "Thank you."
Also now have an Argentinian guy from the dating site wanting to meet for a drink he also said "or my apartment" but I said, no, a bar.
I WAS getting online attention anyway, but he's a new one.
The main difference at the moment, like I said is the eye contact. Guys maintaining it more rather than looking away - or looking scared.
Maybe it's that I am feeling some extra confidence from the subliminal and they sense that and THEY feel more confident, I don't know. It's like I seem a little bit more approachable. I'm a friendly person, but I know some guys can be shy or they've had a lot of rejection.
Online I've messaged more guys and a bit less put off by rejection than I was.
But I had my ex boyfriend take a new girlfriend who I didn't even know about on holiday, found out yesterday and felt quite upset as he used to cancel dates on me and stand me up. So at first I beat myself up a lot and blamed myself and thought I was be ugly and all that kind of crap.
But I soon had people trying to cheer me up and this guy I text he CAN be quite sexual but last night it was like ha ha like a dial had been turned up.
In FACT, he HASN'T been sexual in his texts for a while. He WAS at one stage and then it was platonic. Then flirty but last night he got quite sexual even saying about what he'd do if I came over and talking about am I free to meet next week. We've had this just texting thing for weeks but unless he's lying we ARE attracted well to the photos at least and we make each other laugh and great text connection.
I don't know if we will ever meet we nearly did once. Anyway, he had me laughing and laughing away and then we both started using all this innuendo but I was doing it too, flirting more and being more suggestive, actually usually I'm scared to flirt with him cos I've always been unsure if he finds me attractive enough and what he wants but at the start, I was just as flirty and as many double meanings, way more than usual and it really escalated. I didn't think about this at the time but with him I usually hold back a lot on that as I've never known where i stood although he's said he thinks I am "stunning" and all that sort of thing before.
So that's definitely a change. I'll usually flirt with him and then apologize or keep it platonic, even though I think he's got a rather gorgeous face, is smart and funny and caring to me (well, on the phone.)
I was - I probably shouldn't admit this! - even trying to arouse him cos he did it to me the little tease and he wanted me to do it right back so I did! (Can't believe I just admitted that!)
I think I'd like to meet him in person cos we've chatted so long though I have other guys interested too. But, regardless, he got me laughing then laughing hysterically, then feeling turned on, then when I was trying to get HIM turned on (yes, I succeeded apparently YAY!) I was in this playful revenge mode and trying to be creative. So, it definitely got my mind off the ex boyfriend taking the new girlfriend on holiday and into a much happier state and raised my vibration and erm (this is naughty but it shows you what I mean!) raised something else on him APPARENTLY.
(Don't worry, I promise not to get too graphic.)
Oh, Shannon, what are you doing to me, I already HAVE a high sex drive!
Ha ha.
I had this other guy chatting to me, well a couple of them but one of them doing this hinting that the other guys are crap and he's "the One" (he's NOT the One, he's a whiney baby but he's ok to chat to at times and I am trying to give him tips for HIS love life.)
The ex taking the new girl away while when I was the girl I got cancelled on and stood up has prompted me to get the attract the romantic, wealthy lover subliminal too cos it is PAYBACK time. I've thought about getting that one as an experiment anyway. I want to try a couple of ones in that series, including the boyfriend one, when I am ready for that, which I'm not just yet. But I have a couple of other titles from that series in mind to try out and I will also eventually try some other non love life ones too.
So that's my update.
(I hope it's not too sexual and I promise not to get too graphic on ya!)
RE: Approach anxiety 4 women & attractive men - LionKing - 08-19-2014
Ha
I don't know if you've read some of the guy's journals.... but you're not being too sexual If its what you think, then it is and that's always "ok" in my opinion. What's the use for a journal if its not honest.
RE: Approach anxiety 4 women & attractive men - Athena - 08-19-2014
Actually, LionKing, yes, I HAVE read some of the journals - partially because I am considering getting the Alpha Female although I know they are very different in some ways - but also the journals are interesting to read, on any products and I look forward to reading more.
I think it also encourages us to keep going!
I hope neither you nor Shannon mind me having this Tigeress avatar, I know you both have lions but I started using this one on other forums earlier and I like what it represents to me and it reminds me of a song - couple of songs - and something I've listened to about the qualities of a tiger - tigeress as I am female - strong, confident (yet sexy) going for what she wants. The tongue is like the tigeress is setting her sights on her targets - that's my goals, what i want to manifest, she's hungry, she's driven, she knows those things are HERS. Sleek, powerful, sensual, beautiful and erm a little wild! But if either of you feel it's copying (which it's not) I'm happy to change it.
RE: Approach anxiety 4 women & attractive men - stratos - 08-19-2014
rawrr!
RE: Approach anxiety 4 women & attractive men - JackOfHearts - 08-19-2014
(08-19-2014, 03:37 AM)Athena Wrote: Actually, LionKing, yes, I HAVE read some of the journals - partially because I am considering getting the Alpha Female although I know they are very different in some ways - but also the journals are interesting to read, on any products and I look forward to reading more.
I think it also encourages us to keep going!
I hope neither you nor Shannon mind me having this Tigeress avatar, I know you both have lions but I started using this one on other forums earlier and I like what it represents to me and it reminds me of a song - couple of songs - and something I've listened to about the qualities of a tiger - tigeress as I am female - strong, confident (yet sexy) going for what she wants. The tongue is like the tigeress is setting her sights on her targets - that's my goals, what i want to manifest, she's hungry, she's driven, she knows those things are HERS. Sleek, powerful, sensual, beautiful and erm a little wild! But if either of you feel it's copying (which it's not) I'm happy to change it.
I like your avatar, just with the tongue out make it different.
You should not try to impress your ex by changing what you want to do.
Be yourself, it's better to think that he missed his chances with you, his bad. Move on and forget, don't let the pressure has a power on you. Be yourself, find yourself, and do what you really want to do, search for it, if you don't know. Don't act by jealousy, it was just an experience, every experience is a new learning. Hopefully this bad experience helped/dragged you to look deeper into yourself for answer.
P.S: I would love to read your journal with AF, there is not a lot of AF journals so it will have a lot of success. (my 666th post
)