Shannon's Journal

[Patti]

I am concluding, from my experience with AM2011 and the grief I am still healing from, that grief can significantly impede the impact of a subliminal. It makes sense, I suppose, as the emotions are so deeply tied to the subconscious.

Shannon, I’m sorry. Grief has its place in that it’s something we need to go through as a healing process. After any life struggle or pain that I’ve gone through I came through the other end a stronger better person. Maybe you should go about your work and life without any subliminal influence in order to give your soul time to process and digest what’s happened. Maybe it’s possible that your trying to rid yourself of pain too quickly for it hasn’t had time to do what ever it is that it needs to. Try to give yourself a break and just be for awhile.

It'll be a year in June since mom died. Tempting as it has been, I'm not trying to push the healing faster. I was trying to use the alpha set to overcome some of the weakness the healing has forced on me, and to some degree it has. But this snail's pace and waiting is getting old. Yes, I know, this is the most major transition and growth spurt I have had thus far in my life, and I'm a much stronger, better and more capable man for the experience... but I'm tired of waiting. I'm most of the way there, so I can feel what's coming, and I like it, but it's not there yet... so it's frustrating to be within sight of the goal, and moving at a snail's pace.

Well, grief doesn’t really have any time limit. It took me over a year to get over and past the death of my grandmother. I lived with her most of my life and she was a huge part of all my family’s lives. With all you’ve had to do in the aftermath the actual grieving process was most likely delayed. If I remember correctly, you’re still living in her house? And no matter what you’ve cleaned or moved out, you’re still being bombarded with memories. And even if you’re not living there, she’s still a huge part of your heart as I’m sure you are hers. It takes time to let someone go and maybe she’s still holding onto you as much as you her. In a perfect world, we’d get a recommended 3 months or so to get over it all, but this isn’t a perfect world. And we can’t truly move forward until our hearts truly want to. Like you said, you’re almost there.