03-09-2011, 06:56 PM
Stage 2 week 2-3
Motivation at Work:
- Week 2 temp improved motivation at work. Not sure if it's AM11, Overcome Procrastination, or BWE beta.
- Week 3 major improvement in motivation at work with spurts of euphoria.
Confidence
- An increase in my confidence. (My thoughts are more and more the expression "I can do this" or "I'm good at this")
Interaction with Others
- More eye aversion from others that I thought were alpha. Now many keep their eyes looking down or avert their eyes.
- More manager and key company players are acknowledging me as we pass in the hall.
- Starting to lose some of my previous indifference at work knowing that every action as a reaction.
- to clarify my last post I need not acknowledge everyone that walks past my office with eye contact. I do not need to look up at them as the walk by. If they engage me with a conversation I'm cordial and talk.
- less and less snappy responses less of a joker needing to say the funny line to get a laugh. Previously this was my way of getting attention.
- Reduction in the self deprecating humor.
Dream:
- I've had a few dreams in which I acted like an alpha male mentally, physically, and emotionally (feels good).
Neediness
- Week 2 Big time neediness. I got to the point of wanting to compare the number of views per day of my thread verses the views of others threads. My self talk was as follows: "Why am I not important why don't the forum gods (the main players) comment on my posts." "The form goddesses comment but not the main players." But then I ask my self, why am I posting. Am I posting for purely selfish reasons. Hmmmmmm.
- Week 3 I'm not as needy. I care that others are not commenting but I'm starting to care less. I'm starting to not need validation from the forum.
- Reduction in the number of other threads that I have a desire to read.
Motivation at Work:
- Week 2 temp improved motivation at work. Not sure if it's AM11, Overcome Procrastination, or BWE beta.
- Week 3 major improvement in motivation at work with spurts of euphoria.
Confidence
- An increase in my confidence. (My thoughts are more and more the expression "I can do this" or "I'm good at this")
Interaction with Others
- More eye aversion from others that I thought were alpha. Now many keep their eyes looking down or avert their eyes.
- More manager and key company players are acknowledging me as we pass in the hall.
- Starting to lose some of my previous indifference at work knowing that every action as a reaction.
- to clarify my last post I need not acknowledge everyone that walks past my office with eye contact. I do not need to look up at them as the walk by. If they engage me with a conversation I'm cordial and talk.
- less and less snappy responses less of a joker needing to say the funny line to get a laugh. Previously this was my way of getting attention.
- Reduction in the self deprecating humor.
Dream:
- I've had a few dreams in which I acted like an alpha male mentally, physically, and emotionally (feels good).
Neediness
- Week 2 Big time neediness. I got to the point of wanting to compare the number of views per day of my thread verses the views of others threads. My self talk was as follows: "Why am I not important why don't the forum gods (the main players) comment on my posts." "The form goddesses comment but not the main players." But then I ask my self, why am I posting. Am I posting for purely selfish reasons. Hmmmmmm.
- Week 3 I'm not as needy. I care that others are not commenting but I'm starting to care less. I'm starting to not need validation from the forum.
- Reduction in the number of other threads that I have a desire to read.
