11-11-2015, 12:29 PM
I have been having some weird feelings lately. It went from I am not even feeling any resistance from OF...to feeling really alone and sad LOL.
I was even considering not journaling on here and just keeping a personal journal on PC for myself, I felt I can't fully be myself on here (I don't like being open and vulnerable so everyone can know my weaknesses) I never do with real people in my real life, they then judge me based on what I said and can use the information against me.
I have been feeling really alone, I wish I had some real friends and even a girlfriend. I feel I am not getting any real intimate connection with anyone and I feel like I need it to feel sane. I have my parents and brother and few guys at work that I see couple times a week and on Saturday I see some new people on a course I am doing. But I can't connect with none of them and it makes me feel alone even if I am interacting and talking with them. It sucks bad. I want someone to be close to and be really open and feel ''connection'' what ever that means.
I wont be upgrading to OF 5G when it comes out. I have bought too many subliminals and I can't even use them for a full 6 months. I refuse to buy any more until I can start using them for 6 months at a time, to see if they actually do make a difference in my life. Otherwise, I am wasting my money and my time and my sanity.
I feel scared because I don't know what to do to change my life. I feel I have conflicting beliefs about how I create my reality, what has worked for me in the past, what has not worked for me in the past, what is not working now, and what supposedly is supposed to work (Changing Beliefs = Changing reality)
I have so many contradictions, I just don't know what to belief no more. Hopefully one day I can get out of the whole I am in and start again from basics and learn what does actually work for me personally and then continue to use the same things that work to create the life I want.
It feels like all I can do is just wait and see, even thought I hate that.
I was even considering not journaling on here and just keeping a personal journal on PC for myself, I felt I can't fully be myself on here (I don't like being open and vulnerable so everyone can know my weaknesses) I never do with real people in my real life, they then judge me based on what I said and can use the information against me.
I have been feeling really alone, I wish I had some real friends and even a girlfriend. I feel I am not getting any real intimate connection with anyone and I feel like I need it to feel sane. I have my parents and brother and few guys at work that I see couple times a week and on Saturday I see some new people on a course I am doing. But I can't connect with none of them and it makes me feel alone even if I am interacting and talking with them. It sucks bad. I want someone to be close to and be really open and feel ''connection'' what ever that means.
I wont be upgrading to OF 5G when it comes out. I have bought too many subliminals and I can't even use them for a full 6 months. I refuse to buy any more until I can start using them for 6 months at a time, to see if they actually do make a difference in my life. Otherwise, I am wasting my money and my time and my sanity.
I feel scared because I don't know what to do to change my life. I feel I have conflicting beliefs about how I create my reality, what has worked for me in the past, what has not worked for me in the past, what is not working now, and what supposedly is supposed to work (Changing Beliefs = Changing reality)
I have so many contradictions, I just don't know what to belief no more. Hopefully one day I can get out of the whole I am in and start again from basics and learn what does actually work for me personally and then continue to use the same things that work to create the life I want.
It feels like all I can do is just wait and see, even thought I hate that.
