03-07-2011, 11:14 AM
Well my alpha male 2010 training has come to an end... actually on last Saturday morning. It's been one crazy ride that's for sure. It really hasn't "settled in" 100% yet.
So starting out last Mid-August, the initial response was the very mentally drained / out of it feeling that stuck around for the entire duration of the stage and into part of stage 2. I wasn't that irritable during stage 1 but it intensified at stage 2. During stage 1, I didn't feel like getting out much. I was rather introspective.
Stage 2 was very subtle. My confidence really didn't increase that much. I shedded my hermit-itus somewhat during this stage. My irritability increased but I kept it in check. Towards the later half of stage 2, I began to go to the gym more. Also, I felt emotionally cold and detached during this time. I also had some angry moments as well, like the way others treated me and I did nothing to stand up and call it out. I just let it go (eventually, lol).
Stage 3, I noted changes about 1 1/2 weeks in. My confidence wavered day to day... good one day and not so good the next. I wasn't as cold and detached as I was on stage 2 but it was there. My "need" to converse with others dropped off as well (approaching it from a needy mindset) so it was like, If I want to converse I will and if I don't want to, then I won't.
Around the mid-point of stage 3, "caged animal" syndrome crept in. I felt restless but unsure of what to do. It was a good example of my ego / conscious fighting my subconscious. I began also to open up a little more around others (I'm still working on that one).
Stage 4 started where 3 left off... and neediness came back in waves. I was very moody during this time even though my confidence kept inching its way up. Sex drive inched up as well. Caged animal syndrome was intense during this stage. At times I felt like I was being pulled through a dark, tarry abyss.
Stage 5 things lightened up a lot and I felt much more at ease. Neediness dropped back off (not 100% but close) and much to my delight, the caged animal syndrome eased up. I had mild spells of bad moods but nothing compared to the feelings of stages 1 and 4 (esp 4!).
Stage 6 felt a lot like stage 5. Cold emotions came back briefly around the later half of 6. My ability to converse more comfortably with others increased. It's not where I want it to be yet but it will get there eventually. And also, I got burnt out writing in my online journal! It got to be a thorn in my side bigtime. With that being said, I'm having thoughts of not journaling alpha male 2011 or any other sub for that matter from here on out. It's just a pain.
Thank you all for reading my journey. It's been fun
So starting out last Mid-August, the initial response was the very mentally drained / out of it feeling that stuck around for the entire duration of the stage and into part of stage 2. I wasn't that irritable during stage 1 but it intensified at stage 2. During stage 1, I didn't feel like getting out much. I was rather introspective.
Stage 2 was very subtle. My confidence really didn't increase that much. I shedded my hermit-itus somewhat during this stage. My irritability increased but I kept it in check. Towards the later half of stage 2, I began to go to the gym more. Also, I felt emotionally cold and detached during this time. I also had some angry moments as well, like the way others treated me and I did nothing to stand up and call it out. I just let it go (eventually, lol).
Stage 3, I noted changes about 1 1/2 weeks in. My confidence wavered day to day... good one day and not so good the next. I wasn't as cold and detached as I was on stage 2 but it was there. My "need" to converse with others dropped off as well (approaching it from a needy mindset) so it was like, If I want to converse I will and if I don't want to, then I won't.
Around the mid-point of stage 3, "caged animal" syndrome crept in. I felt restless but unsure of what to do. It was a good example of my ego / conscious fighting my subconscious. I began also to open up a little more around others (I'm still working on that one).
Stage 4 started where 3 left off... and neediness came back in waves. I was very moody during this time even though my confidence kept inching its way up. Sex drive inched up as well. Caged animal syndrome was intense during this stage. At times I felt like I was being pulled through a dark, tarry abyss.
Stage 5 things lightened up a lot and I felt much more at ease. Neediness dropped back off (not 100% but close) and much to my delight, the caged animal syndrome eased up. I had mild spells of bad moods but nothing compared to the feelings of stages 1 and 4 (esp 4!).
Stage 6 felt a lot like stage 5. Cold emotions came back briefly around the later half of 6. My ability to converse more comfortably with others increased. It's not where I want it to be yet but it will get there eventually. And also, I got burnt out writing in my online journal! It got to be a thorn in my side bigtime. With that being said, I'm having thoughts of not journaling alpha male 2011 or any other sub for that matter from here on out. It's just a pain.
Thank you all for reading my journey. It's been fun
Get your pickles!!!
