Hello! My Introduction

[ArcticFox]

On my 3rd attempt I thought I had the dosage down, but this lot must have had a larger dosage of weed as it was a very heavy trip.

I decided to use the EPRHA ocean Sub while I was high. And i think this really brough out a strange turn of events. After about 30 mins of exposure from headphones I turned them off.

About 30 minutes later, there was one point when I was thinking heavily about my Ex girlfriend, how i treated her badly, the childish attitude I had in the relationship, my neglect towards here, and numerous other things. At this point the thought pattern had gone so deep, really ripping into my mind - it really felt like the subs doing their thing, but obviously cant be sure.

Upon realising I still had a lot of feelings for her, deep sadness that I was not with her any more, and regret and emptiness that I had lost her romantically (we are still friends). At this stage I had a panic attack and felt hugely claustrophobic while standing in my kitchen - like I was trapped inside a plastic bubble, I almost had to leave the house and go for a walk.

(At this stage I thought to myself that this was down to the 5G subs being so powerful, my my mind couldn't deal with everything that was being released from my intoxication + exposure to 5G).

I then made my way to the front room and opened the window, and sat and took a lot of deep breaths and calmed myself down. I really noticed how much emotion and pain I have associated to my EX, but it was so much more clear!

Its a very difficult experience to describe, but after that stage i then started to talk out loud like I was making a speech, (the whole time I'm consciously trying to keep calm and not beat myself up negatively, telling myself all of these emotions are fine, natural and you have nothing to fear).

While making speeches out loud to myself, outlining what my problems are in my life and how to deal with them. The basically boiled down to:

Massive pain and fear and shame to past relationships with girls.
Fear of women and girls, speaking to them, building relationships
Fear of people, friends and family
Fear work, progressing, career building

I kept almost praying/chanting to myself - to remove my demons (fear, indecent desires, procrastination, lack of taking responsibility).

Basically I had massive realisations that I need to sort my life out. I'm honestly not trying to say anything here, other than what I experienced was crazy a trip. Just wanted to share my experience in my ramblings