Well how do I put this..
I started masturbating even before I knew about sex. I thought I invented it(LOL) and didnt knew what it was called. I didn't have computer and internet at that time. My Parents were kind of religious even though they didnt follow most of the teachings but they were aware of Porn and stuff out there on internet. So there were no computer or laptop when I was young. I praise them for this,cause if Internet would have been there I would have become a chronic porn addict for sure,also I was clown of my class and was bullied by teacher and classmates as I was the only muslim in my class and many other were Hindus. So they used to mock me and call me names and sometimes complain to teachers for stuff which i didnt even do. Then 9/11 happened and they started calling me terrorist and so I was alone. In breaktime..I used to eat alone...So this was one hell of a Emotional Trauma for me..I thought no one loved me. There was this girl I like and I even dream't about her one time but my reputation in class was mess.
When I found masturbation by accident(No one taught me) I found my escape( My Pain killers).I remember before masturbation I used to watch girl and get erection but there wasnt any urge,only the urge to know her and spend time with her. Stuff like that....Masturbation all changed that.
I slowly also became addicted to NSFW image u see in newspapers and magazine and would masturbate to them.
I found my soulmate when I was in university. My sister use to tell her friends about me. Most of the time. They all wanted to meet me. But I denied to meet them. They saw my pic on whatsaap and went nuts. Everytime I would go to school to pick up my sister her friends would ask me to take off my helmet so that they can see me for real..
One of her friends fell in love with me,told her parents about me and said that she would want to marry me in future. Her mom and my mom became BFF and then they were able to know everything about me..At last she said that her daughter wants to marry me. When my mom told me about this I was SHOCKED AS HELL. I denied the relationship as first and was against it. I was like No!! No!! No!!..
She used to come and visit me along with her parents and would make tea for me and would enter my room when I was alone and i would say to her in low tone" Please get out of my room I need to study" She would smile and leave....I denied this relationship...IDK what I was scared off(Love I guess)
Then One day she messaged me on whatsaap and started talking about random stuff and things like that and we chatted for like 2 hours and then she said.." I LOVE YOU".....The moment she said this idk what happened but something clicked and then after that ..everything changed. I began to question myself and my beliefs and asked myself if this is the will of GOD?(Sorry for religious talk). Slowly and slowly I noticed that as my bond with her grew stronger. I started to loose interest in Soft-core porn and within 3 months of our relationship. I was so surprised when I would visit reddit NSFW and those naked girls I saw would make me feel sorry for them..The way I looked at them changed..I saw thru their soul. When ever any NSFW or Porn I saw by accident. I would think that they are doing this because they might have emotional problem or financial problem. No girl or women will sell or show their skin unless they have some intention or goal behind this. Maybe they dont know any other way to fullfill their emotional void and they are not even aware of this(Its all a problem in their subconscious). We do many stuff in life which rather more fueled by emotions than logical..Those girls in Porn and movies are also going thru this and these girls try to hide these emotions thru their ego(Bitchiness as people say ) but in the end...Its all same.(These are all my Opinions)....
As our relationship grew stronger and stronger. I told her that I was addicted to masturbation. She supported me,said that I can do this and overcome this addiction.I thought I would loose her after I told her about this but it was complete opposite...
I seriously dont care what her past was.If she was in relationship or not? or if shes a virgin or not. I do admit that when I first met her..I found her so attractive that I thought about doing physical stuff with her including sex...There were moments when I did everything with her except(Sex ,BJ,Oral,Anal anything which involved penis).
I saw in her eyes that she wanted me but was also scared and so was I. But I told her not to fear as I wouldn't do anything which would go against her belief and break the trust of her parents.Her parents really do trust me alot specially her mother.
I was kinda wrong when I mentioned that I was doing this cause of religion..No thats not it.
Its me..I am like this...Its something deep...
I know people will say that sex is healthy and good. Yes it is. I wont deny it..But Their are also other ways to be healthy and also no one died because of lack of sex(LoL)..Monks do Live ..
Sacrifices have to be made in order to gain something valuable..
Call me old fashioned but I am like this...I hope You guys understand..This is a completely different situation.
Sorry If You find me kinda odd...
In the end I am grateful Shannon made this Sub. I am sure I will get of out this soon.
PEACE
I started masturbating even before I knew about sex. I thought I invented it(LOL) and didnt knew what it was called. I didn't have computer and internet at that time. My Parents were kind of religious even though they didnt follow most of the teachings but they were aware of Porn and stuff out there on internet. So there were no computer or laptop when I was young. I praise them for this,cause if Internet would have been there I would have become a chronic porn addict for sure,also I was clown of my class and was bullied by teacher and classmates as I was the only muslim in my class and many other were Hindus. So they used to mock me and call me names and sometimes complain to teachers for stuff which i didnt even do. Then 9/11 happened and they started calling me terrorist and so I was alone. In breaktime..I used to eat alone...So this was one hell of a Emotional Trauma for me..I thought no one loved me. There was this girl I like and I even dream't about her one time but my reputation in class was mess.
When I found masturbation by accident(No one taught me) I found my escape( My Pain killers).I remember before masturbation I used to watch girl and get erection but there wasnt any urge,only the urge to know her and spend time with her. Stuff like that....Masturbation all changed that.
I slowly also became addicted to NSFW image u see in newspapers and magazine and would masturbate to them.
I found my soulmate when I was in university. My sister use to tell her friends about me. Most of the time. They all wanted to meet me. But I denied to meet them. They saw my pic on whatsaap and went nuts. Everytime I would go to school to pick up my sister her friends would ask me to take off my helmet so that they can see me for real..
One of her friends fell in love with me,told her parents about me and said that she would want to marry me in future. Her mom and my mom became BFF and then they were able to know everything about me..At last she said that her daughter wants to marry me. When my mom told me about this I was SHOCKED AS HELL. I denied the relationship as first and was against it. I was like No!! No!! No!!..
She used to come and visit me along with her parents and would make tea for me and would enter my room when I was alone and i would say to her in low tone" Please get out of my room I need to study" She would smile and leave....I denied this relationship...IDK what I was scared off(Love I guess)
Then One day she messaged me on whatsaap and started talking about random stuff and things like that and we chatted for like 2 hours and then she said.." I LOVE YOU".....The moment she said this idk what happened but something clicked and then after that ..everything changed. I began to question myself and my beliefs and asked myself if this is the will of GOD?(Sorry for religious talk). Slowly and slowly I noticed that as my bond with her grew stronger. I started to loose interest in Soft-core porn and within 3 months of our relationship. I was so surprised when I would visit reddit NSFW and those naked girls I saw would make me feel sorry for them..The way I looked at them changed..I saw thru their soul. When ever any NSFW or Porn I saw by accident. I would think that they are doing this because they might have emotional problem or financial problem. No girl or women will sell or show their skin unless they have some intention or goal behind this. Maybe they dont know any other way to fullfill their emotional void and they are not even aware of this(Its all a problem in their subconscious). We do many stuff in life which rather more fueled by emotions than logical..Those girls in Porn and movies are also going thru this and these girls try to hide these emotions thru their ego(Bitchiness as people say ) but in the end...Its all same.(These are all my Opinions)....
As our relationship grew stronger and stronger. I told her that I was addicted to masturbation. She supported me,said that I can do this and overcome this addiction.I thought I would loose her after I told her about this but it was complete opposite...
I seriously dont care what her past was.If she was in relationship or not? or if shes a virgin or not. I do admit that when I first met her..I found her so attractive that I thought about doing physical stuff with her including sex...There were moments when I did everything with her except(Sex ,BJ,Oral,Anal anything which involved penis).
I saw in her eyes that she wanted me but was also scared and so was I. But I told her not to fear as I wouldn't do anything which would go against her belief and break the trust of her parents.Her parents really do trust me alot specially her mother.
I was kinda wrong when I mentioned that I was doing this cause of religion..No thats not it.
Its me..I am like this...Its something deep...
I know people will say that sex is healthy and good. Yes it is. I wont deny it..But Their are also other ways to be healthy and also no one died because of lack of sex(LoL)..Monks do Live ..
Sacrifices have to be made in order to gain something valuable..
Call me old fashioned but I am like this...I hope You guys understand..This is a completely different situation.
Sorry If You find me kinda odd...
In the end I am grateful Shannon made this Sub. I am sure I will get of out this soon.
PEACE
