10-14-2015, 08:36 AM
So I've started meditating again and it's been great. I've learned I've been putting so much stress on myself trying to let go of emotions and doing all this self help work right. Sitting there with my thoughts and just observing them has taught me again how thoughts are just thoughts and it's only the meaning I attach to them that causes my problems. I reach these moments of inner peace, but it's like I get a tug from another part of my mind that says I shouldn't feel that way. I'm unemployed and pretty much lost in life, but that shouldn't be an excuse not to feel at peace.
It just got me thinking about status in society, placing self worth in achievements, all that stuff. It's just that conditioning so many people are subjected to. I never really realized how much it still influenced me until I started watching my thoughts more. So much of my anxiety is comparing myself to other people and my place in this world. When I let go of that I feel so much more free.
It's definitely still a work in progress, but the past few days I've really been living in the present more and I've realized that's all there really is. Thinking ahead to the future does no good unless it's for productive planning.
It just got me thinking about status in society, placing self worth in achievements, all that stuff. It's just that conditioning so many people are subjected to. I never really realized how much it still influenced me until I started watching my thoughts more. So much of my anxiety is comparing myself to other people and my place in this world. When I let go of that I feel so much more free.
It's definitely still a work in progress, but the past few days I've really been living in the present more and I've realized that's all there really is. Thinking ahead to the future does no good unless it's for productive planning.
