09-29-2015, 08:14 AM
You know, I was having one of those days the other day when I thought about giving up on this subliminal. Questioning if it was doing anything, if there was a better solution, if maybe I should take a break, etc. A familiar pattern that I feel like I should know by now. But I guess the resistance really does present itself in hidden ways.
I know that what I'm striving for is good for me, but I still don't think my subconscious is in agreement. Whenever I listen to the subliminal I feel this tension develop in my body, like my mind is fighting back with the suggestions in the subliminal. I'm trying to remind myself that even though change is scary and venturing out into unfamiliar territory is uncomfortable, I really don't want to be confined to this prison I've built myself anymore. Even though it's "safe" here, it makes me miserable.
I've said it before and I'll say it again. I've never had thick skin. I think that's part of my issue with accepting changes that get me out there. I know getting out more is the best thing for me in the long term. But my subconscious still thinks it's dangerous. I'm a grown adult with the mind of a child that's terrified of the outside world. In the past forcing myself into situations seems to have made it worse.
I don't really know the solution to this, but I do know telling myself to suck it up only works for a limited amount of time before I start reverting to old behaviors and avoidant behaviors. And comparing myself to others is a recipe for depression and anxiety so I'm trying to avoid that. Still it's hard not to feel like you're defective when you have trouble integrating into society and doing normal every day things that most people do with minimal effort.
I know that what I'm striving for is good for me, but I still don't think my subconscious is in agreement. Whenever I listen to the subliminal I feel this tension develop in my body, like my mind is fighting back with the suggestions in the subliminal. I'm trying to remind myself that even though change is scary and venturing out into unfamiliar territory is uncomfortable, I really don't want to be confined to this prison I've built myself anymore. Even though it's "safe" here, it makes me miserable.
I've said it before and I'll say it again. I've never had thick skin. I think that's part of my issue with accepting changes that get me out there. I know getting out more is the best thing for me in the long term. But my subconscious still thinks it's dangerous. I'm a grown adult with the mind of a child that's terrified of the outside world. In the past forcing myself into situations seems to have made it worse.
I don't really know the solution to this, but I do know telling myself to suck it up only works for a limited amount of time before I start reverting to old behaviors and avoidant behaviors. And comparing myself to others is a recipe for depression and anxiety so I'm trying to avoid that. Still it's hard not to feel like you're defective when you have trouble integrating into society and doing normal every day things that most people do with minimal effort.
