My life is in the shambles right now

[hiddenalias]

At the age of 35, I am still living with my parents. Why? Because I have never personally succeeded in the real world where I can make a handsome amount of money to live on my own.

I have wasted 15 years of my college life thinking one day I could have a good career and all of that BS. The reason why I say it is wasted is because I have struggled to succeed in the college years and I'd say by 'luck' is how I finished......really attained no knowledge in my degrees whatsoever. I also have to blame a learning cognitive disability that also challenged me in the college years that I also am seeking out treatment for to explain the root problem.

Where I wanted to succeed in the age bracket, my acquaintance peers have succeeded.

I feel like an outsider, a black sheep.

The other issue is that i desperately would like to get my own place but am governed by my mom's manipulation of "how dare you want to leave us when for all these year we have taken care of you, dad has chipped in to pay for bla bla when you didn't have any money to fix it yourself" bla bla bla

I understand her logic but my parents are from India and my dad feels as if I have to be a neat freak "tuck in your shirt", "always wear a belt", "put on socks", etc. I know this is the norm and is decent but my argument is that as a grown man I should feel to be the way I am regardless if it looks like I am being a hobo. Plain and simple my argument is that as a legal adult I have the right to live the way I feel like living.

I understand that my dad says it for the right reasons like my parents are really tell me because it is a good impression to show to the people at your job that you have to look like a neat and clean person that knows how to groom himself, I get it, but if I were living on my own and go out like a slob, that means unironed clothes, unshaven, nobody at work would care to even tell me as long as I am getting to work on time and do my job and go home. Plain and simple.

Long story short, my mom thinks I am going to **** up my life and end up with a woman who will treat me bad or whatever if i end up leaving to go out on my own.

On another note, I have social anxiety because of my over protective parents that have never let me sprout out and about and explore on my own. Unless I can find a cure to the problem, I am ****ed right about now.......

Honestly I am not happy being in this life, if it were up to me, and if I had the money I would leave and never look back, I am just sick of this shit to be quite honest...I know we all have our own demons and life's problems but this is ridiculous; I can understand the way my parents are and let it be if I was a minor but cmon 35 years old being treated like he can't survive out there on his own and part of the reason why is having parents from another country that are strict on religion that have been over protective your whole life that has never given their adult son a chance to sprout and grow......Sorry I just had to vent,

anyways I wonder if anyone can relate to my story or anything similar and if the subliminals here have transformed the members here for the better...thanks for listening and letting me vent:exclamation:

Sincerely

Doomed Soul

Everybody has his own issues.Yours are big,but your circumastances can be changed.When there is a will,there is also a way.
Take it from the bright side.At least you have parents that love you and care about you.There are people that don't have that.

Ok so this might sound weird but i don't want to be loved by them; its kinda icky......weird i know; i would rather hope that they can let me go cuz if they dont im a ticking time bomb and i will leave......even sacrificing my nieces that are around 3 to 8 years old; i love them but everyone else attached in my family is just ridiculously annoying; i dont like my bro, i dont like my sister, i dont like my mom/dad heck i dont like my bro in law either.....i might have aspergers too and i know i have social anxiety because of the way i was cultivated.........my plan in the end is to run run far far far away dont look back RUN!!!!!!!!!!!!