02-16-2011, 11:23 AM
One of my ex's was one of those who really loved direct, up front, blunt and aggressive sexual interest in her. On the night we discovered each other, I was flirting with her hard core online and out slipped "I'm going to f*** you, B." I said it without thinking about it, deadly serious, and was absolutely unapologetic or what have you afterward. This sort of thing is COMPLETELY not my style, and I haven't done that with anyone else before or since. But she and I shared such a strong connection that I somehow just automatically responded to her that way, and said so. (And because she was so turned on by me saying that, I actually later had to tell her no sex on our first date that night, which turned out to be another brilliant move on my part.)
Had I said that same thing, in that same way, to ANY other of my ex's at that stage of the game... or almost any other stage of the game... they'd have probably laughed at me. A few would have liked it once we had started a relationship and we were already sexually intimate, because they'd have taken it as "I find you irresistibly attractive, and I must have you NOW." But such a direct and polar statement must be used with the right woman, at the right time, and in the right way. It is one of those all or nothing type deals in most cases.
Be careful telling a woman something like that until you know her and her responses very well, or you're empathically attuned to her and you know it's what she wants to hear. Used at the wrong time, in the wrong way or the wrong place, it can destroy any chance you have for any sort of anything with her. Instantly.
On the other hand... it could have the reverse effect, too. But when you're using "big guns" like that, know when and how to use it and know how to handle it if it backfires.
Had I said that same thing, in that same way, to ANY other of my ex's at that stage of the game... or almost any other stage of the game... they'd have probably laughed at me. A few would have liked it once we had started a relationship and we were already sexually intimate, because they'd have taken it as "I find you irresistibly attractive, and I must have you NOW." But such a direct and polar statement must be used with the right woman, at the right time, and in the right way. It is one of those all or nothing type deals in most cases.
Be careful telling a woman something like that until you know her and her responses very well, or you're empathically attuned to her and you know it's what she wants to hear. Used at the wrong time, in the wrong way or the wrong place, it can destroy any chance you have for any sort of anything with her. Instantly.
On the other hand... it could have the reverse effect, too. But when you're using "big guns" like that, know when and how to use it and know how to handle it if it backfires.
Subliminal Audio Specialist & Administrator
The scientist has a question to find an answer for. The pseudo-scientist has an answer to find a question for. ~ "Failure is the path of least persistence." - Chinese Fortune Cookie ~ Logic left. Emotion right. But thinking, straight ahead. ~ Sperate supra omnia in valorem. (The value of trust is above all else.) ~ Meowsomeness!
The scientist has a question to find an answer for. The pseudo-scientist has an answer to find a question for. ~ "Failure is the path of least persistence." - Chinese Fortune Cookie ~ Logic left. Emotion right. But thinking, straight ahead. ~ Sperate supra omnia in valorem. (The value of trust is above all else.) ~ Meowsomeness!
