08-19-2015, 09:56 AM
Well, there are a couple options. Your perfect lover might be one. I have seen it result in D/s relationships, and if you're wanting to explore that, as a Domina, switch or sub, it is certainly possible for that to result. The beauty of that title is, no matter what you consciously think you want, the result will be that good or better.
It sounds like you're D/s curious and you are looking to get your feet wet with a partner who can switch. That wouldn't be the same as a submissive lover. If you were to call for a sub and get one, and you're not really dominant, then his submission would not have an outlet anyway. A genuine Dominant and submissive are that because there is some part of them that needs to express that for some reason. Some reasons are healthier than others, but I can tell you that playing at it is not going to work for a genuine Dominant or submissive. If you're curious, but it turns out you're not really D or s, then attracting a genuine D/s lover would not result in success because either they wouldn't be perfect for you, or their needs would not be met eventually.
I know a Dominant who used to own a submissive female. He is not the kind of guy you would look at and say, "Oh, he's a Dom." On the contrary, he's so calm and laid back that most people would never even guess it. But he is a genuine Dominant, and he only accepts genuinely submissive females. His acceptance is far from guaranteed, too. He requires that an interested submissive petition him properly, and then if she is a potential match for his needs, he will give her six months or a year to prove herself submissive and genuinely a match. His standards and requirements are so high that he has only ever once had a submissive earn his ownership. In their relationship, her submission was a genuine need for her to express and a gift to him as a display of love and respect for him. In return, his dominance and stewardship of her was likewise a genuine gift and display of love and respect for her in kind. He fulfilled her need to submit by giving her a safe way and place in which to do so, and she fulfilled his need to Dominate by doing the same. But their relationship ended because he continued to grow and she wanted to stagnate. They no longer met one anothers' needs after a while, and their relationship ended. Genuine D/s is about deep trust and fulfilling one another's mutual needs. Are you sure that's what you're looking for, or are you just curious?
It sounds like you're D/s curious and you are looking to get your feet wet with a partner who can switch. That wouldn't be the same as a submissive lover. If you were to call for a sub and get one, and you're not really dominant, then his submission would not have an outlet anyway. A genuine Dominant and submissive are that because there is some part of them that needs to express that for some reason. Some reasons are healthier than others, but I can tell you that playing at it is not going to work for a genuine Dominant or submissive. If you're curious, but it turns out you're not really D or s, then attracting a genuine D/s lover would not result in success because either they wouldn't be perfect for you, or their needs would not be met eventually.
I know a Dominant who used to own a submissive female. He is not the kind of guy you would look at and say, "Oh, he's a Dom." On the contrary, he's so calm and laid back that most people would never even guess it. But he is a genuine Dominant, and he only accepts genuinely submissive females. His acceptance is far from guaranteed, too. He requires that an interested submissive petition him properly, and then if she is a potential match for his needs, he will give her six months or a year to prove herself submissive and genuinely a match. His standards and requirements are so high that he has only ever once had a submissive earn his ownership. In their relationship, her submission was a genuine need for her to express and a gift to him as a display of love and respect for him. In return, his dominance and stewardship of her was likewise a genuine gift and display of love and respect for her in kind. He fulfilled her need to submit by giving her a safe way and place in which to do so, and she fulfilled his need to Dominate by doing the same. But their relationship ended because he continued to grow and she wanted to stagnate. They no longer met one anothers' needs after a while, and their relationship ended. Genuine D/s is about deep trust and fulfilling one another's mutual needs. Are you sure that's what you're looking for, or are you just curious?
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The scientist has a question to find an answer for. The pseudo-scientist has an answer to find a question for. ~ "Failure is the path of least persistence." - Chinese Fortune Cookie ~ Logic left. Emotion right. But thinking, straight ahead. ~ Sperate supra omnia in valorem. (The value of trust is above all else.) ~ Meowsomeness!
The scientist has a question to find an answer for. The pseudo-scientist has an answer to find a question for. ~ "Failure is the path of least persistence." - Chinese Fortune Cookie ~ Logic left. Emotion right. But thinking, straight ahead. ~ Sperate supra omnia in valorem. (The value of trust is above all else.) ~ Meowsomeness!
