Romantically Dominant/submissive lover still here?

[Athena]

Hi all. Long time no see. Not having a probably using the products but I couldn't find a title I thought you used to have and I'm wondering it it was a 3g one (I know they were retired or if you do have it and I'm just not seeing it? I have a feeling that you had - I KNOW you have attract your dominant lover & you have attract your sexually dominant lover & attract your sexually submissive lover but I could SWEAR that you had some titles called something like attract your ROMANTICALLY dominant lover and attract your romantically submissive lover ?
Or maybe I just dreamed it?

I can't really afford to splash the cash right now but in the near future I wouldn't mind...do you have those ones though or are they retired or are they still there but I'm just not looking in the right place? Please tell me where they are if so thank you!
Thanks in advance for any answers!

[Athena]

Yes I just had another look & not do I.
Thank you for double checking for me though, I
really appreciate it!

[Shannon]

I don't think we ever had a title about attracting a dominant/submissive lover with romantic connotations. Generally, D/s relationships are a horse of a different color, and that sort of thing (romance) can be very different between such parties than a vanilla couple, and therefore needs to be figured out between the participants. What did you want in specific?

[Athena]

Thank you for replying Shannon.
I guess well....maybe the reverse of the attract your perfectly romantically Dominant lover? But maybe that's more of a sexual one. I guess I mean, a lover who is very open to their partner's ideas and input maybe even defers to them. I'm not sexually Dominant but I would like to experience a relationship like that, with someone who, I guess I mean to attract someone who lets YOU take the lead in things like where to go on dates, that kind of thing. I mean, a gender-neutral one, there may be men on here for e.g. who would love to attract a woman who lets them take the lead....then again maybe the Alpha male and Alpha female cover this sort of thing pretty well? I think I got mixed up from seeing the romantically Dominant lover (or Dominant romantic lover?
I saw this one: http://www.subliminal-shop.com/product/a...tic-lover/
Ages ago and I think I got mixed up when I was trying to remember titles and thought you had attract your perfect submissive romantic lover too. But then again, maybe this one is more sexually Dominant so the submissive version of this would be just in bed? I hope what I’ve just said is not confusing! and I appreciate your quick reply. I also wondered if you had formerly had that in 3g or something, cos I know the 3gs were taken off, I got some before they went. Thanks again for your quick and helpful reply!

[Shannon]

Well, there are a couple options. Your perfect lover might be one. I have seen it result in D/s relationships, and if you're wanting to explore that, as a Domina, switch or sub, it is certainly possible for that to result. The beauty of that title is, no matter what you consciously think you want, the result will be that good or better.

It sounds like you're D/s curious and you are looking to get your feet wet with a partner who can switch. That wouldn't be the same as a submissive lover. If you were to call for a sub and get one, and you're not really dominant, then his submission would not have an outlet anyway. A genuine Dominant and submissive are that because there is some part of them that needs to express that for some reason. Some reasons are healthier than others, but I can tell you that playing at it is not going to work for a genuine Dominant or submissive. If you're curious, but it turns out you're not really D or s, then attracting a genuine D/s lover would not result in success because either they wouldn't be perfect for you, or their needs would not be met eventually.

I know a Dominant who used to own a submissive female. He is not the kind of guy you would look at and say, "Oh, he's a Dom." On the contrary, he's so calm and laid back that most people would never even guess it. But he is a genuine Dominant, and he only accepts genuinely submissive females. His acceptance is far from guaranteed, too. He requires that an interested submissive petition him properly, and then if she is a potential match for his needs, he will give her six months or a year to prove herself submissive and genuinely a match. His standards and requirements are so high that he has only ever once had a submissive earn his ownership. In their relationship, her submission was a genuine need for her to express and a gift to him as a display of love and respect for him. In return, his dominance and stewardship of her was likewise a genuine gift and display of love and respect for her in kind. He fulfilled her need to submit by giving her a safe way and place in which to do so, and she fulfilled his need to Dominate by doing the same. But their relationship ended because he continued to grow and she wanted to stagnate. They no longer met one anothers' needs after a while, and their relationship ended. Genuine D/s is about deep trust and fulfilling one another's mutual needs. Are you sure that's what you're looking for, or are you just curious?

[Athena]

What a fantastic answer. You know what, I think you raise excellent points. Yeah, I'm possibly a switch and I was a sub to a Dominant for 8 months but actually I think he needs someone even MORE submissive than I, I might be a mix of all 3. Regardless, I DO want the other person to be happy too and feel he is getting his needs met and as I'm not FULLY Dominant OR submissive (but part submissive and wanting to explore being my Dominant too plus mostly vanilla but not entirely!) then I think what you said makes a heck of a lot of sense and...I guess what I mean is someone who defers to a woman more...like a lot of women let men lead a LOT in the relationship, usually I do too & I want to explore something LESS like that...but I think that the perfect lover, perfect boyfriend and maybe Alpha female (again not all at one and it may be a while before I can get them but I want them!!) might be the route for me to go. As I'm (Sorry I'm probably sharing TMI!) not fully sub or Domme. So a switch might even be perfect for me. I have an email sub who is very very submissive but I also see that if I was very vanilla or submissive with him he'd HATE that cos he's SO submissive. (No, he's not someone I want to have interactions with off-line, it's not that kind of thing. But he brings an interesting dynamic!)
Insightful and helpful as always, Shannon and I thank you so very much! You not only answered my question but you have answered in depth and brought in points - pertinent points - that have given me a lot to think about and you've answered it from all angles, and even though I already thought and think well of you anyway, wow, I am really impressed!

[ffaux]

Very interesting. I used to enjoy being dominant in bed like you've described Shannon but now after AM6 it's subsided. To the point where the girl I was sleeping with said I feel different and decided to take a break from me haha. I'm going to look into this some more. I didn't know this was a thing

[Shannon]

Just be careful, ffaux, there's a lot of BS out there that can misinform you and lead you astray of the real thing.

Glad I could help, Athena.

[ffaux]

Just be careful, ffaux, there's a lot of BS out there that can misinform you and lead you astray of the real thing.

Thanks Shannon. Where can I find good information about this?

[Athena]

Even though I've heard a lot of BAD things about American guys, lately I'm also hearing a lot of good things about them which makes me think SOME of them might be real gentlemen! Another sub when I can I might experiment with with from here is "Attract your perfect American romantic lover." Your subs are really good, Shannon. Even if it just attracts an American sexually, it might be an interesting sub to experiment with. (Obviously, I don't live in, nor am I from, the USA.)

[Shannon]

Just be careful, ffaux, there's a lot of BS out there that can misinform you and lead you astray of the real thing.

Thanks Shannon. Where can I find good information about this?

I haven't been around it for a while, so I'm not sure anymore. I know of one place I used to go when I was researching it that had good information on it, and knowledgeable people who were genuine, but this really isn't the place to be posting things like that. I'll give you a hint, though. The name starts with an "L" and ends with an "A" and is the fusion of two words. They have a forum that they call a bulletin board and there's a section for stuff like that. I haven't been there in a long, long time though, so I can't guarantee that it's still got knowledgeable people.

[Shannon]

Even though I've heard a lot of BAD things about American guys, lately I'm also hearing a lot of good things about them which makes me think SOME of them might be real gentlemen! Another sub when I can I might experiment with with from here is "Attract your perfect American romantic lover." Your subs are really good, Shannon. Even if it just attracts an American sexually, it might be an interesting sub to experiment with. (Obviously, I don't live in, nor am I from, the USA.)

I'm American. More specifically, I'm from the United States, since America consists of a lot more than just the USA. It's just like anywhere else here: you have some bad ones and some good ones. You have some who are high quality, and some who are low quality. It just depends on what you are looking for, and where you look. I'm sure this is true of all groups of people and both genders. I wouldn't expect all of any gender or nationality or race to be any one thing.

[Breeze]

Yeah, I'm possibly a switch and I was a sub to a Dominant for 8 months but actually I think he needs someone even MORE submissive than I, I might be a mix of all 3. Regardless, I DO want the other person to be happy too and feel he is getting his needs met and as I'm not FULLY Dominant OR submissive (but part submissive and wanting to explore being my Dominant too plus mostly vanilla but not entirely!) then I think what you said makes a heck of a lot of sense and...I guess what I mean is someone who defers to a woman more...like a lot of women let men lead a LOT in the relationship, usually I do too & I want to explore something LESS like that...but I think that the perfect lover, perfect boyfriend and maybe Alpha female (again not all at one and it may be a while before I can get them but I want them!!) might be the route for me to go. As I'm (Sorry I'm probably sharing TMI!) not fully sub or Domme. So a switch might even be perfect for me. I have an email sub who is very very submissive but I also see that if I was very vanilla or submissive with him he'd HATE that cos he's SO submissive. (No, he's not someone I want to have interactions with off-line, it's not that kind of thing. But he brings an interesting dynamic!)

Domination and submission are like the two side of the same coin. It's a common thing to say, "Submission is a gift", but so is domination. You are a submissive or a dominant, in either case, you submit or accept the submission as a sign of love and respect for your partner. You give in. Surrender. And surrender is the bond that unites the two. This is, of course, not exclusive to D/s relationships, but it is important to understand nonetheless as a switch. What I mean is: You do not have to "switch", you just have to go with the flow. I say it because I often found it quite puzzling why I am not fully content with either of the roles. Though later I realized that is because I was trying to be submissive or a dominant. And if you find that space within you, you will discover that submission and domination are indeed one.