07-26-2015, 08:32 AM
I've recently come to the conclusion that my desire to be better in the face of my issues is nothing more than resistance to how things actually are. Accepting things isn't always easy, especially when it has such a heavy emotional burden attached to it. There's nothing wrong with change or improvement, but I think if it's out of fear it leads to a lot of problems.
My biggest issue is when things like depression or anxiety pop up, I want them gone. There's so many techniques out there to relieve this stuff, but I've found none of it can really outright eliminate it in the moment. Instead I should have been working on accepting it and continuing on with my life instead of getting sucked down in an endless spiral of trying to fix something. The only thing more disheartening than dealing with anxiety and depression is when individuals claim they have relief for it if you just do x, y, and z and you find it doesn't really work. It's not really a surprise that I have trouble accepting a lot of stuff considering I always seem to be at war with how I feel.
I'm not saying I shouldn't give attention to these problems and hope they magically go away. But I am saying that sometimes things don't resolve in a day, sometimes it takes a month or longer. If I dwell on things still not being better, I'll only feel worse.
Sometimes life just sucks. I was hanging out with a group of friends the other day and felt like I couldn't get into the conversation. Everyone was having a good time except me. The more I forced myself to have a good time, the worse I felt. The more I beat myself up for not being able to have a good time or talk more, the worse I felt. I'm always focusing way too much on what I should be feeling or doing instead of accepting how I actually feel and going from there.
My biggest issue is when things like depression or anxiety pop up, I want them gone. There's so many techniques out there to relieve this stuff, but I've found none of it can really outright eliminate it in the moment. Instead I should have been working on accepting it and continuing on with my life instead of getting sucked down in an endless spiral of trying to fix something. The only thing more disheartening than dealing with anxiety and depression is when individuals claim they have relief for it if you just do x, y, and z and you find it doesn't really work. It's not really a surprise that I have trouble accepting a lot of stuff considering I always seem to be at war with how I feel.
I'm not saying I shouldn't give attention to these problems and hope they magically go away. But I am saying that sometimes things don't resolve in a day, sometimes it takes a month or longer. If I dwell on things still not being better, I'll only feel worse.
Sometimes life just sucks. I was hanging out with a group of friends the other day and felt like I couldn't get into the conversation. Everyone was having a good time except me. The more I forced myself to have a good time, the worse I felt. The more I beat myself up for not being able to have a good time or talk more, the worse I felt. I'm always focusing way too much on what I should be feeling or doing instead of accepting how I actually feel and going from there.
