06-19-2015, 05:45 AM
Been a bit silent on the forums for a while. In 45 minutes I switch over to Phase 2. Hours per day on average is 17.5. My average dropped because I'm taking on new things in my life. I am planning to get out more. Sunday afternoons involves Feldenkrais class so that chews up about 3 or 4 hours including travel. awesome though, I discovered that my winged scapula causes my right shoulder to lift off the ground slightly more so the teacher told me she would adapt some stuff in the next class to help with that.
I haven't done my posture feldenkrais exercise for probably a week. Posture is still going strong although I think my body has reverted slightly which is understandable as the muscles were beginning to weaken.
Going to apply for a team leader/management position next week. I haven't even really been a team leader but I have confidence that I can learn and it's only for six months. I've started practicing really simple muscle testing and I tested quite strongly for my belief that I can do the job.
Getting into some basic Kundalini type stuff - spinal rolls, hip circling, that sort of thing. Want to get into more of it though. Noticing increased sensation through my pelvis and genitals. This morning something made me turn around on the bus and I locked eyes with this cute asian girl. We smiled and I literally felt a jolt. It was cool!
I'm about 40 days into no fap and I"m wondering if that's why I'm now starting to sense more of my genital, but am noticing the spinal rolls and stuff are definitely what are causing the sensations.
It was really strange though and a big let down. I attended a speed dating event last night. Before hand I was feeling nervous for some reason. I muscle tested and it seems I was more excited than nervous. I felt really confident. Met some great girls, had some great interactions. Two girls actualy wrote down some of the practices I do because they were interested in learning them. Only one or two conversations out of 18 felt awkward. Most of the time the girls started the conversations, leaned forward, engaged, smiling etc. I got one friend match, no date match. I ticked I think fifteen girls between date and friend so was pretty disappointed with that. I was seriously expecting at least 3 matches.
I haven't been to a speed dating event in a couple of years. I always get at least 3 friend matches, usually no date matches so this was quite surprising to only get one friend match. From memory I think the last time I went I was always the one asking the question so it was like they were engaging me first this time.
A lot of the girls couldn't stop talking, they were very energetic, passionate etc. So yeah, very confused as to the massive lack of date, or even just friend options. The only thing I wonder is I have this belief that if the conversation flows and the girls don't learn something about me they will not be interested. Like when we flow really well I'll try and slot a quick question at the end to 'learn' something. I think I need to let that go, because in reality a girl would probably love the idea of just letting go and talking, which is what happened with quite a few of the girls.
That makes me question the subs, but not in a bad way. Could it be that Phase 1 is rough? As in the effect gets refined with further stages? Maybe that's why girls on the dancefloor seem more interested than other girls because they've had a few drinks, they're dancing, so they're much more in their feminine kind of thing. Although I don't think I come across as intense.
Went out for drinks with some people early in the week.
Oh yeah, I was definitely popular with the guys at the speed dating. The alphaness is definitely noticeable to men, and to me haha. The guy I was chatting with while we waited went for a drink so I joined a group of guys and then throughout the breaks they'd come up to me and chat. At one point I noticed what I did. One of hte guys was sitting on a cushion thing in the middle so I was like 'hey mate shift over a bit?'. The non-alpha would have actually asked.
I noticed something cool as well. A few times when I went to the toilet a girl would be walking towards the door so I'd hold it open and motion for her to walk through. The old me would have had an 'agenda', something along the lines of impressing the girl. Whereas these times I just felt completely solid, I wasn't reaching out energetically for an expectation. She'd thank me and I didn't say a word. Just a slight smile as I walked through.
I do feel quite strong in character and I'm wondering if that's intimidating for women, especially as I'm noticing definite shift from men which means that something has shifted in me. I'm still blocked by limiting beliefs/emotion or energetic blocks or something which I think is screwing with my head because I'm walking in a powerful confident way thanks to Feldenkrais but not taking action because of beliefs. Normally the two are powerfully connected.
Thoughts?
I haven't done my posture feldenkrais exercise for probably a week. Posture is still going strong although I think my body has reverted slightly which is understandable as the muscles were beginning to weaken.
Going to apply for a team leader/management position next week. I haven't even really been a team leader but I have confidence that I can learn and it's only for six months. I've started practicing really simple muscle testing and I tested quite strongly for my belief that I can do the job.
Getting into some basic Kundalini type stuff - spinal rolls, hip circling, that sort of thing. Want to get into more of it though. Noticing increased sensation through my pelvis and genitals. This morning something made me turn around on the bus and I locked eyes with this cute asian girl. We smiled and I literally felt a jolt. It was cool!
I'm about 40 days into no fap and I"m wondering if that's why I'm now starting to sense more of my genital, but am noticing the spinal rolls and stuff are definitely what are causing the sensations.
It was really strange though and a big let down. I attended a speed dating event last night. Before hand I was feeling nervous for some reason. I muscle tested and it seems I was more excited than nervous. I felt really confident. Met some great girls, had some great interactions. Two girls actualy wrote down some of the practices I do because they were interested in learning them. Only one or two conversations out of 18 felt awkward. Most of the time the girls started the conversations, leaned forward, engaged, smiling etc. I got one friend match, no date match. I ticked I think fifteen girls between date and friend so was pretty disappointed with that. I was seriously expecting at least 3 matches.
I haven't been to a speed dating event in a couple of years. I always get at least 3 friend matches, usually no date matches so this was quite surprising to only get one friend match. From memory I think the last time I went I was always the one asking the question so it was like they were engaging me first this time.
A lot of the girls couldn't stop talking, they were very energetic, passionate etc. So yeah, very confused as to the massive lack of date, or even just friend options. The only thing I wonder is I have this belief that if the conversation flows and the girls don't learn something about me they will not be interested. Like when we flow really well I'll try and slot a quick question at the end to 'learn' something. I think I need to let that go, because in reality a girl would probably love the idea of just letting go and talking, which is what happened with quite a few of the girls.
That makes me question the subs, but not in a bad way. Could it be that Phase 1 is rough? As in the effect gets refined with further stages? Maybe that's why girls on the dancefloor seem more interested than other girls because they've had a few drinks, they're dancing, so they're much more in their feminine kind of thing. Although I don't think I come across as intense.
Went out for drinks with some people early in the week.
Oh yeah, I was definitely popular with the guys at the speed dating. The alphaness is definitely noticeable to men, and to me haha. The guy I was chatting with while we waited went for a drink so I joined a group of guys and then throughout the breaks they'd come up to me and chat. At one point I noticed what I did. One of hte guys was sitting on a cushion thing in the middle so I was like 'hey mate shift over a bit?'. The non-alpha would have actually asked.
I noticed something cool as well. A few times when I went to the toilet a girl would be walking towards the door so I'd hold it open and motion for her to walk through. The old me would have had an 'agenda', something along the lines of impressing the girl. Whereas these times I just felt completely solid, I wasn't reaching out energetically for an expectation. She'd thank me and I didn't say a word. Just a slight smile as I walked through.
I do feel quite strong in character and I'm wondering if that's intimidating for women, especially as I'm noticing definite shift from men which means that something has shifted in me. I'm still blocked by limiting beliefs/emotion or energetic blocks or something which I think is screwing with my head because I'm walking in a powerful confident way thanks to Feldenkrais but not taking action because of beliefs. Normally the two are powerfully connected.
Thoughts?
