Well another bizarre day. Still fighting my cold. So had to bail on a date for the second time. Last night I did a sexual chi gung thing and I think I unlocked my sex energy. I'm not sure but today I am super struggling to handle my sexual energy. I'm on the no PMO although I don't follow the rules exactly. Basically for me I will look maybe once a week but I won't do anything.
Anyway, so the internet girl who I haven't met yet as now progressed our conversation to sex stories and what we like in the bedroom. I haven't even met this girl yet, and every message is making it harder and harder to keep my resolve haha. But I think the chi gung thing I did last night was more responsible. All day today I felt this buzzing in my pelvis. I've never really had a strong sex drive which might explain why this is such a struggle. I distracted myself with a movie. 45 minutes later and I was back in c-ontrol haha. Although within 5-10 minutes the feelings were back. I think I've rebooted my sex drive or something. It's like this buzz is constantly on haha.
Anyway, today I went to get some extra drugs. There's this cute blonde girl in front of me. She glances at me, then as she turns around to walk away, glances again and then glances a third time as she's walking past. The lady serving me seemed extra friendly although that could just be her personality.
Noticing a little more aggression/assertiveness. I used to quite often wait for people/traffic etc longer than I really should have. Also definitely more in tune with my physical desire for women.
The sexual texting with this girl is great because it's not something I've ever been comfortable with. Feeling much more comfortable now. Did notice one time where I flinched slightly as I was texting something.
Currently averaging 19 hours/day. End of Stage 1, Week 1.
I did have some other things written down but left it at work. I feel like I work with more purpose.
Anyway, so the internet girl who I haven't met yet as now progressed our conversation to sex stories and what we like in the bedroom. I haven't even met this girl yet, and every message is making it harder and harder to keep my resolve haha. But I think the chi gung thing I did last night was more responsible. All day today I felt this buzzing in my pelvis. I've never really had a strong sex drive which might explain why this is such a struggle. I distracted myself with a movie. 45 minutes later and I was back in c-ontrol haha. Although within 5-10 minutes the feelings were back. I think I've rebooted my sex drive or something. It's like this buzz is constantly on haha.
Anyway, today I went to get some extra drugs. There's this cute blonde girl in front of me. She glances at me, then as she turns around to walk away, glances again and then glances a third time as she's walking past. The lady serving me seemed extra friendly although that could just be her personality.
Noticing a little more aggression/assertiveness. I used to quite often wait for people/traffic etc longer than I really should have. Also definitely more in tune with my physical desire for women.
The sexual texting with this girl is great because it's not something I've ever been comfortable with. Feeling much more comfortable now. Did notice one time where I flinched slightly as I was texting something.
Currently averaging 19 hours/day. End of Stage 1, Week 1.
I did have some other things written down but left it at work. I feel like I work with more purpose.
