05-11-2015, 08:53 AM
The 6 months doing BASE was tough, because of the anger issues I experienced. It was tough on the people around me, especially for my loved ones. Nothing in the expectations of BASE came to fruition during BASE. I'm off BASE for more than 2 weeks now, and I can feel the script settling down on me. It's quite an experience.
I suspect that I might have overdone the number of hours on BASE, which led me to mental tiredness, and hence, increased irritability. When I'm off the sub, I sorta zoomed back to before (referring specifically to anger), but better (I'm no longer irritable nor short tempered). During BASE, most days were tired, but not fatigued. I did not attribute my tiredness to BASE though. But in retrospect, I might have overdone my daily hours.
Since my FAQ posting on anger management, I had been looking at LTU. It's something Ive been wanting to do, but I wondered if it would override BASE. I wondered if I should let BASE settle down more, wait longer before I start another sub.
As for the aftermath of BASE experience, I am experiencing the following in no particular order:
-insomnia, I am thinking a lot on which business to start, where to put my time in. I can only sleep when I'm very tired.
-I'm struggling a bit between my previous self (before BASE) and my new self on what action to take, like torn between outsourcing for (likely to be a) 4-figure sum or doing it myself; getting the product up first vs proof of concept first
-I find myself sticking to one project at a time, rather than getting scattered across many new projects
-my brain is very busy. I'm always lost in thought, even though I have no idea what I might be thinking about.
-I need to talk about things in order for my brain to process it. Thinking quietly doesn't help at all. It's like the script is settling in (think: many many "words" are tring to find their place), and as I am thinking more "words" are pouring into my brain. Yeah.
-different mindset. I see things differently.
-great BS detector. More than before. But I cannot hide the body language that shows discomfort when the BS is pouring out of someone else's mouth. As they are speaking, I am literally thinking, "wow what a waste of time to listen to this whole story..."
-more comfortable socially
-no more sweaty palms
-forgiven significant people whom I didn't know if I would ever forgive them. In this department, dramatic changes, I had no idea how much negative feelings and emotions I held within me. Now I don't recall much the bad events, which I suspect, were held together for too long because of the emotions that tied to them. I could remember them if I tried hard to recollect.
-more assertive. People who exude high self confidence used to intimidate me. Even when BS poured out of their mouths, their confident (or some may say arrogant) demeanor makes me believe what they say to be true or hold some truth. Now, I look past that outer shell and see the BS, then I proceed to destroy the BS (in a socially acceptable manner of course)
I suspect that I might have overdone the number of hours on BASE, which led me to mental tiredness, and hence, increased irritability. When I'm off the sub, I sorta zoomed back to before (referring specifically to anger), but better (I'm no longer irritable nor short tempered). During BASE, most days were tired, but not fatigued. I did not attribute my tiredness to BASE though. But in retrospect, I might have overdone my daily hours.
Since my FAQ posting on anger management, I had been looking at LTU. It's something Ive been wanting to do, but I wondered if it would override BASE. I wondered if I should let BASE settle down more, wait longer before I start another sub.
As for the aftermath of BASE experience, I am experiencing the following in no particular order:
-insomnia, I am thinking a lot on which business to start, where to put my time in. I can only sleep when I'm very tired.
-I'm struggling a bit between my previous self (before BASE) and my new self on what action to take, like torn between outsourcing for (likely to be a) 4-figure sum or doing it myself; getting the product up first vs proof of concept first
-I find myself sticking to one project at a time, rather than getting scattered across many new projects
-my brain is very busy. I'm always lost in thought, even though I have no idea what I might be thinking about.
-I need to talk about things in order for my brain to process it. Thinking quietly doesn't help at all. It's like the script is settling in (think: many many "words" are tring to find their place), and as I am thinking more "words" are pouring into my brain. Yeah.
-different mindset. I see things differently.
-great BS detector. More than before. But I cannot hide the body language that shows discomfort when the BS is pouring out of someone else's mouth. As they are speaking, I am literally thinking, "wow what a waste of time to listen to this whole story..."
-more comfortable socially
-no more sweaty palms
-forgiven significant people whom I didn't know if I would ever forgive them. In this department, dramatic changes, I had no idea how much negative feelings and emotions I held within me. Now I don't recall much the bad events, which I suspect, were held together for too long because of the emotions that tied to them. I could remember them if I tried hard to recollect.
-more assertive. People who exude high self confidence used to intimidate me. Even when BS poured out of their mouths, their confident (or some may say arrogant) demeanor makes me believe what they say to be true or hold some truth. Now, I look past that outer shell and see the BS, then I proceed to destroy the BS (in a socially acceptable manner of course)
