05-10-2015, 06:38 AM
Back again with more insights. I feel like I've touched on this topic before but it's self improvement from a place of positivity vs feeling you're not good enough. One helps, one hinders.
One of the things about self improvement for me is it's easy to get carried away and think I need to change everything about myself. Like if I'm naturally introverted than I should be more extroverted. If I'm naturally more quiet than I should work on speaking more. It made me think of animals. Animals can have different temperaments, they just are. They don't try to be anything, they just live. Humans are gifted with the ability of higher consciousness, but at the same time it's easy to forget there are things that aren't under our control. Sometimes I get carried away with the subliminals and forget that they won't alter who I fundamentally am. And I have a tendency to fight against how I am. And I think it's this fighting that has made my life so difficult because that's a massive amount of energy wasted on something that isn't even wrong. To clarify, you have to be sure who you are isn't just a bunch of deceptive negative lies. I'm not going to accept that I'm a naturally depressed person because I know that's not true. But things like personality and your core being, those are with you whether you resist or accept them.
And one more thing. I've always been a control freak. I've realized how powerful it is to let go. It seems scary at first because control in my mind equaled security. But it does nothing except burn away my energy with nothing to show for it. The control I thought I had was just an illusion.
One of the things about self improvement for me is it's easy to get carried away and think I need to change everything about myself. Like if I'm naturally introverted than I should be more extroverted. If I'm naturally more quiet than I should work on speaking more. It made me think of animals. Animals can have different temperaments, they just are. They don't try to be anything, they just live. Humans are gifted with the ability of higher consciousness, but at the same time it's easy to forget there are things that aren't under our control. Sometimes I get carried away with the subliminals and forget that they won't alter who I fundamentally am. And I have a tendency to fight against how I am. And I think it's this fighting that has made my life so difficult because that's a massive amount of energy wasted on something that isn't even wrong. To clarify, you have to be sure who you are isn't just a bunch of deceptive negative lies. I'm not going to accept that I'm a naturally depressed person because I know that's not true. But things like personality and your core being, those are with you whether you resist or accept them.
And one more thing. I've always been a control freak. I've realized how powerful it is to let go. It seems scary at first because control in my mind equaled security. But it does nothing except burn away my energy with nothing to show for it. The control I thought I had was just an illusion.
