05-06-2015, 07:36 AM
Had an extremely rough day yesterday. To make a long story short I got caught up in the whole negative thought loop of needing my music to be good. And instead of stepping away from it, I have a bad habit of trying to bulldoze through it which causes more stress. I think one of my biggest problems is I'm worried if I'm not constantly working on the music I'm wasting precious time. Definitely a fear based mentality I'm working to overcome. On top of that music can be so subjective that sometimes I doubt everything I do and I lose my ability to make good choices. Kind of like that feeling when you write a word and you don't recognize the spelling as correct. I guess it's those moments where I really need to step back.
And as a side note I think caffeine is horrible for me. I don't usually drink coffee, but last week I drank about a cup every other day. Coffee makes me feel really good, but I crash hard. And it's not just that day, but I think it has a carryover effect into the next few days. Yesterday I found myself wanting to make some coffee to lift me out of my depressive/anxious slump, but I realized it would only prolong it. Today I'm feeling much better. There's definitely something about caffeine that ruins my ability to cope with stress, it's like my body becomes hyper sensitive and small things that usually don't set me off do.
Anyway, you live and learn. I don't know how some people can drink that stuff day in day out without getting burnt out. But maybe my nervous system is different or something.
And as a side note I think caffeine is horrible for me. I don't usually drink coffee, but last week I drank about a cup every other day. Coffee makes me feel really good, but I crash hard. And it's not just that day, but I think it has a carryover effect into the next few days. Yesterday I found myself wanting to make some coffee to lift me out of my depressive/anxious slump, but I realized it would only prolong it. Today I'm feeling much better. There's definitely something about caffeine that ruins my ability to cope with stress, it's like my body becomes hyper sensitive and small things that usually don't set me off do.
Anyway, you live and learn. I don't know how some people can drink that stuff day in day out without getting burnt out. But maybe my nervous system is different or something.
