05-05-2015, 03:08 AM
Just take sat and sun off is what I do every week. :-) Prevents burnout.
You can go straight from ASC to AM6. If you want the ASC code to "settle", better to give it a week. If you want to get started with AM6, you can jump right in.
As for your culture, there is a balance point that you need to find. In your culture family is very important, but it is unfortunately held together with guilt, shame and fear. In my culture, family means next to nothing, and everyone is in it for themselves. Neither one is the ideal. What you want to do is find the balance between doing for yourself and living for yourself, and having a healthy family and valuing both at the right amounts to keep them both optimally healthy and successful. I wish my culture valued family and "other people" more, but I know well what you're talking about because my grandmother was just like that. I wasn't even 16 when I started calling her out on her guilt trips and emotional manipulation crap. It got that bad. To this very day I refuse to allow anyone to emotionally manipulate me because of what she tried to do. Loved her to death, but that's not acceptable.
Guilt trips and shame only work so long as you allow them to work. They also only work as long as you base your thinking through your emotions. When you really start to use your brain, it becomes blaringly obvious that logically, it makes no sense to feel bad because your parents are doing things that put them in a position that is bad for them, because that is their choice. And it is very likely true that they are doing it intentionally, specifically to be able to manipulate you through guilt, shame and fear.
I dealt with my grandmother by immediately pointing out in no uncertain terms that she was trying to guilt trip me, and exactly how. Then I told her that I love her, but I will not allow myself to be emotionally manipulated, and that that is not love, it's an attempt to control me. When you spell it out for them like this, and your logic is sound, they have nowhere to hide. They have two options at that point:
1. Stop.
2. Dive deeper into the delusion that results in them do it in the first place, double down and try even harder.
And the harder they try to do it, the more you hit them with the cold hard logical facts - always calmly, but firmly. Stay in control of yourself at all times. It helps to point out, by contrast, how ridiculous they are being in some cases. My grandmother stopped eventually because she realized that her 16 year old grandson was being more mature than she was, and the whole family was watching this happen. It was a little embarrassing for her, as well it should have been.
Once she "got it", an grew out of that, we had a great relationship.
You can go straight from ASC to AM6. If you want the ASC code to "settle", better to give it a week. If you want to get started with AM6, you can jump right in.
As for your culture, there is a balance point that you need to find. In your culture family is very important, but it is unfortunately held together with guilt, shame and fear. In my culture, family means next to nothing, and everyone is in it for themselves. Neither one is the ideal. What you want to do is find the balance between doing for yourself and living for yourself, and having a healthy family and valuing both at the right amounts to keep them both optimally healthy and successful. I wish my culture valued family and "other people" more, but I know well what you're talking about because my grandmother was just like that. I wasn't even 16 when I started calling her out on her guilt trips and emotional manipulation crap. It got that bad. To this very day I refuse to allow anyone to emotionally manipulate me because of what she tried to do. Loved her to death, but that's not acceptable.
Guilt trips and shame only work so long as you allow them to work. They also only work as long as you base your thinking through your emotions. When you really start to use your brain, it becomes blaringly obvious that logically, it makes no sense to feel bad because your parents are doing things that put them in a position that is bad for them, because that is their choice. And it is very likely true that they are doing it intentionally, specifically to be able to manipulate you through guilt, shame and fear.
I dealt with my grandmother by immediately pointing out in no uncertain terms that she was trying to guilt trip me, and exactly how. Then I told her that I love her, but I will not allow myself to be emotionally manipulated, and that that is not love, it's an attempt to control me. When you spell it out for them like this, and your logic is sound, they have nowhere to hide. They have two options at that point:
1. Stop.
2. Dive deeper into the delusion that results in them do it in the first place, double down and try even harder.
And the harder they try to do it, the more you hit them with the cold hard logical facts - always calmly, but firmly. Stay in control of yourself at all times. It helps to point out, by contrast, how ridiculous they are being in some cases. My grandmother stopped eventually because she realized that her 16 year old grandson was being more mature than she was, and the whole family was watching this happen. It was a little embarrassing for her, as well it should have been.
Once she "got it", an grew out of that, we had a great relationship.
Subliminal Audio Specialist & Administrator
The scientist has a question to find an answer for. The pseudo-scientist has an answer to find a question for. ~ "Failure is the path of least persistence." - Chinese Fortune Cookie ~ Logic left. Emotion right. But thinking, straight ahead. ~ Sperate supra omnia in valorem. (The value of trust is above all else.) ~ Meowsomeness!
The scientist has a question to find an answer for. The pseudo-scientist has an answer to find a question for. ~ "Failure is the path of least persistence." - Chinese Fortune Cookie ~ Logic left. Emotion right. But thinking, straight ahead. ~ Sperate supra omnia in valorem. (The value of trust is above all else.) ~ Meowsomeness!
