05-04-2015, 10:10 AM
(05-04-2015, 07:43 AM)Shannon Wrote: Shannon tries to take a couple days off each week. :-) Working for too long at a time burns him out, and burned out Shannon is not productive.
I am over the cold, thanks for the concern. Just take Sat and Sunday off.
As for the depression, AM is a very challenging program. It does not cause depression, but it can cause subconscious conflict that may result in depression under certain circumstances and for some people. Basically what happens is that it is effectively forcing growth, and if you are stuck on a fear, that growth may be very upsetting. If you are terrified of something, but the growth is happening and you have to face it, prior to facing and overcoming that fear it can trigger a feeling of hopelessness to resist, which can become conscious as a form of depression.
That can also happen when you have invested heavily in a self identity that is being overwritten by the programming. If you identify as "loser" and the program is forcing you to become a "winner", the loss of the existing self identity can be scary and hopelessness in maintaining it may result until the transition is made.
Depression can result from self sabotage. If you experience depression, the subconscious may be able to get you to avoid making certain changes, and therefore, homeostasis is preserved. It's about like making a pilot fly to a different location by putting a gun to his head.
Finally, depression can result if you are being pushed to do, experience and/or express something that conflicts with another "section of code" you are running. If you are being told to refuse to accept being manipulated by women, and mom always manipulates you, you may have the program telling you to stand up for yourself. But at the same time, you may have programming running that says you cannot do that because it would be breaking another rule, which is, never disrespect your mother. This sort of "between a rock and a hard place" situation can also result in feelings of hopelessness and depression.
The goal is to grow, not stagnate. Obviously we don't want you to hurt yourself. But if you face depression because of the program, it's because you're being pushed to outgrow a rut.
Will you experience depression if you run AM? I cannot know. Some do, some do not. It depends on where you are, what you need, and what your circumstances are.
The more you run it, though, the less depression you'll experience because you'll outgrow the causes of it (if it is triggered by the growth process of the programming).
Ahhh sounds good to me, productive Shannon is a good Shannon
I'm glad you're feeling better!Hmm yeah that sounds reasonable. I can understand that, which is why I mentioned I've worked past many of my issues.
"If you are being told to refuse to accept being manipulated by women, and mom always manipulates you, you may have the program telling you to stand up for yourself. But at the same time, you may have programming running that says you cannot do that because it would be breaking another rule, which is, never disrespect your mother"
Hahahah oh man it's funny that you mention this because this is one thing I used to have problems with a lot. I learned my neediness from her I believe. The thing is I've worked past these issues with being manipulated, and I'm in the process of strengthening them. However, most of my family members keep telling me I'm selfish and my parents (specially mom) keep saying they've worked hard to get to where we are now and it was all for me. I have a very hard time accepting that it's all for me. I tell them to do what makes THEM happy, yet they keep giving me shit about how I'M not MAKING them happy and don't do what makes them happy. I have to say it's part of the culture here, people here believe they do everything for their kids and in return they should do, and be what and how they expect them to be; god forbid if they decide to do their own thing, what makes them happy and be independent, they are selfish and ungrateful for EVERYTHING the parents have done for them.
Because of this s**t that I keep getting even though I've worked past most of it, I believe I still have subconscious beliefs that are attached to guilt, and shame when it comes to this. Every time, I decide to do something on my own, make money, move out and be independent, I get excited but within a couple of days it dies down and I don't have the drive anymore to push through. I believe it's the guilt and shame attached with becoming my own person but in the eyes of my culture I'm 'selfish' and my subconscious mind holds on to this. I mean doing something on my own is hard enough as it is, I can't have this s**t bringing me down as well.
I really, REALLY hope that the sub helps me to breakthrough this, because I KNOW I'm close to breaking through it. I can feel it. Every single time my mom says some s**t that I know is to guilt trip me, pushes me even more to want to get the fuck away. I mean, I love them as people, I feel their pain because I know they are inflicting it upon themselves by not working through their issues, but I can't continue to live my life trying to put up with their s**t and consoling with issues that never end because they don't understand the depth of it and only treat the symptoms with superficial shit.
Sorry for the rant hahaha
I just had to release all of that :p But yeah, I've felt like I was confined since the age of 7, by my overprotective, possessive and needy mother; now I don't blame her, I understand that from her perspective she's right and she's like this because of how she grew up and what she went through. This doesn't mean I can continue to live a confined life, without fully being myself, expressing myself, being free, independent and living the life I WANT to live.F**k I guess there was a bit more left :p My apologies again to whoever ends up reading that
I am looking forward to kicking a$$ with this sub.
