04-29-2015, 03:55 PM
(This post was last modified: 04-29-2015, 03:55 PM by naturalself.)
Major changes
I am starting to feel like a pimp. The feeling in my body has changed. Women that would've used to ignore me are looking at me. I bought new clothes and will continue to update my look.. Might buy some kind of gold/bronze necklace soon. I started convict conditioning - that is enough exercise for me and keeps me feeling masculine.. blood pumping. I am hornier and I can feel some women getting horny with me if I am sitting close to them (subway, etc.)
I am able to visualize sex with women much more vividly which makes me confident it will happen again soon. There is currently one woman i can call up to have sex ( and a few I think could happen soon) but I am more interested in meeting new partners, preferably long term material.
While I was experimenting with men I lost a lot of my drive for women, so that probably interfered with the program. I am feeling very straight again. I am open to either and accept my sexuality, but I do like something about feeling masculine much better. The Power. I have stopped jacking off and being with dudes (it just sort of happened - no force). I think retaining that energy has made me feel more virility and desire for women.
I feel a lot less needy. It comes in waves but I usually do a lot of meditation until it's gone. The more waves of this neediness are released the more I feel very free. I also am having a lot easier time socializing with people on train. I am trying to do as in alexander's book - just get in the habit of talking to people for the sake of it.
I attribute this growth to many many hours of meditation, which seems to have released some intense resistance, and also reading alexander's book. which i'm going to try to do weekly for the rest of the program. Also stage 4 feels different.
I am starting to feel like a pimp. The feeling in my body has changed. Women that would've used to ignore me are looking at me. I bought new clothes and will continue to update my look.. Might buy some kind of gold/bronze necklace soon. I started convict conditioning - that is enough exercise for me and keeps me feeling masculine.. blood pumping. I am hornier and I can feel some women getting horny with me if I am sitting close to them (subway, etc.)
I am able to visualize sex with women much more vividly which makes me confident it will happen again soon. There is currently one woman i can call up to have sex ( and a few I think could happen soon) but I am more interested in meeting new partners, preferably long term material.
While I was experimenting with men I lost a lot of my drive for women, so that probably interfered with the program. I am feeling very straight again. I am open to either and accept my sexuality, but I do like something about feeling masculine much better. The Power. I have stopped jacking off and being with dudes (it just sort of happened - no force). I think retaining that energy has made me feel more virility and desire for women.
I feel a lot less needy. It comes in waves but I usually do a lot of meditation until it's gone. The more waves of this neediness are released the more I feel very free. I also am having a lot easier time socializing with people on train. I am trying to do as in alexander's book - just get in the habit of talking to people for the sake of it.
I attribute this growth to many many hours of meditation, which seems to have released some intense resistance, and also reading alexander's book. which i'm going to try to do weekly for the rest of the program. Also stage 4 feels different.
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