01-28-2011, 02:49 PM
Day 6 stage 4 011
Thinks r getting much better
the nervousness, offness, depression, boredom, and confusiong
seem to have been gunk that rapidly came up as it is getting purged out of my system
I feel reall bright and positive now
Much tougher and more extroverted
the first few days I coudn't stand to be alone
and my comfort with this has returned as has an ease in social enviroment
I have a new drive and hope that I can do what I want to do and create what I want into fruition
Alot of self doubt is way down, and I feel a really strong sense of self worth and capacity
the thing I like about this stage and am getting more used to is things seem to orchestrate
and fall in my lap,
women r checking me out from far away and the moment I notice they get all flustered
But what's really weird, but cool, is when women r near me, they go out of their way to physically bumb into me.
on the subway or elevators, even when its not all that crowded, they will just put there breasts right on me,
or one time a girl was just leaning her entire body on me when she had plenty of room to stand straight.
Im good looking, but not that good looking, its weird but Im not complaining
I also feel way more self control
Im eating way healthier
and ignoring thinks I don't like without engaging
I seem to have gained a 6th sense to tell what is fake, approval seeking, or some other bs and I just straight up ignore it. This feels much more discerning than previous stages and when I sense it, it is revolting to me,
I was judgming myself for this in the begining as well but that has mostly fallen up.
I realize the sense of falling apart must have been structures in my mind I was clinging to, that were getting swept away, I felt like I was losing my self when it was just stale protective armor that was cramping me in and keeping me from fully feeling what's around me.
Hope it keeps picking up like this...
Thinks r getting much better
the nervousness, offness, depression, boredom, and confusiong
seem to have been gunk that rapidly came up as it is getting purged out of my system
I feel reall bright and positive now
Much tougher and more extroverted
the first few days I coudn't stand to be alone
and my comfort with this has returned as has an ease in social enviroment
I have a new drive and hope that I can do what I want to do and create what I want into fruition
Alot of self doubt is way down, and I feel a really strong sense of self worth and capacity
the thing I like about this stage and am getting more used to is things seem to orchestrate
and fall in my lap,
women r checking me out from far away and the moment I notice they get all flustered
But what's really weird, but cool, is when women r near me, they go out of their way to physically bumb into me.
on the subway or elevators, even when its not all that crowded, they will just put there breasts right on me,
or one time a girl was just leaning her entire body on me when she had plenty of room to stand straight.
Im good looking, but not that good looking, its weird but Im not complaining
I also feel way more self control
Im eating way healthier
and ignoring thinks I don't like without engaging
I seem to have gained a 6th sense to tell what is fake, approval seeking, or some other bs and I just straight up ignore it. This feels much more discerning than previous stages and when I sense it, it is revolting to me,
I was judgming myself for this in the begining as well but that has mostly fallen up.
I realize the sense of falling apart must have been structures in my mind I was clinging to, that were getting swept away, I felt like I was losing my self when it was just stale protective armor that was cramping me in and keeping me from fully feeling what's around me.
Hope it keeps picking up like this...
1. There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness.
2. A thinker sees his own actions as experiments and questions... Success and failure are for him answers above all.
3. I would not know what the spirit of a philosopher might wish more then to be than a good dancer.-F.N.
2. A thinker sees his own actions as experiments and questions... Success and failure are for him answers above all.
3. I would not know what the spirit of a philosopher might wish more then to be than a good dancer.-F.N.
