stage 4 day 5
I had a very sexual dream about f last night. i guess i was looking at her porn videos or something cause she was a porn star in my dream. my friends were telling me not to hook up with her because she was "dirty" meaning she had a disease.
f was sober for a few months, and m was in my dream too and he was sober in my dream. in real life, we all used to smoke meth together, so it was interesting i dreamt of both of them
I also saw J and I think we started making out in the dream too
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Anyway back to reality. Yesterday D came over to the house for the house meeting. we crossed paths at the front door, she was coming out and i was going in. so she blocked me, and i hugged her. she shoved her boobs to my chest (butt outward) and we held each other for like 30 seconds. and she was saying how she had to crouch down because it was weird hugging a guy shorter than her (when in reality she's shorter than me by a couple inches LOL). Excuse to give me boob contact? she has a boyfriend and she's pretty committed to him.
Funny because I've gotten similar boobxperiences quite often in the past week. writing these experiences off as platonic isn't as easy as it was a week or so ago.
I also have this "intuitive" feeling that girls are staring at me a lot these days. I don't consciously see them doing it, but it's like the everfamous feeling you get when someone's watching you type thing. And through the corner of my eye, I feel they're looking at me. It could just be my ego being raised, but it's like a gut level feeling that I'm right. If I try to pin it on coincidence, I'm going to be surprised in two weeks when I find out I'm right all along lol.
AM6 is such a beast. It's hard to imagine that in just 3.5 months, I've grown so much, in an unquantifiable way and it bleeds through my existence. My daily thought patterns and experiences, and reactions/responses to scenarios now are completely natural but they're LIGHT YEARS different than the person I used to be!
UPDATE:
I just got ordered more nootropics from newmind and lift mode. I scraped up some centrophenoxine, sunifiram, huperzine A, and choline bitartate since I ran out of my alpha GPC finally.
I took a little bit (recommended dose) of each of the 4, and I can feel a heightened sense of awareness. I mainly got it so I can focus more and be more energized, but the added benefit could be that it would help the subs be more effectively ingrained into my neural pathways
))))
I had a very sexual dream about f last night. i guess i was looking at her porn videos or something cause she was a porn star in my dream. my friends were telling me not to hook up with her because she was "dirty" meaning she had a disease.
f was sober for a few months, and m was in my dream too and he was sober in my dream. in real life, we all used to smoke meth together, so it was interesting i dreamt of both of them
I also saw J and I think we started making out in the dream too
---------
Anyway back to reality. Yesterday D came over to the house for the house meeting. we crossed paths at the front door, she was coming out and i was going in. so she blocked me, and i hugged her. she shoved her boobs to my chest (butt outward) and we held each other for like 30 seconds. and she was saying how she had to crouch down because it was weird hugging a guy shorter than her (when in reality she's shorter than me by a couple inches LOL). Excuse to give me boob contact? she has a boyfriend and she's pretty committed to him.
Funny because I've gotten similar boobxperiences quite often in the past week. writing these experiences off as platonic isn't as easy as it was a week or so ago.
I also have this "intuitive" feeling that girls are staring at me a lot these days. I don't consciously see them doing it, but it's like the everfamous feeling you get when someone's watching you type thing. And through the corner of my eye, I feel they're looking at me. It could just be my ego being raised, but it's like a gut level feeling that I'm right. If I try to pin it on coincidence, I'm going to be surprised in two weeks when I find out I'm right all along lol.
AM6 is such a beast. It's hard to imagine that in just 3.5 months, I've grown so much, in an unquantifiable way and it bleeds through my existence. My daily thought patterns and experiences, and reactions/responses to scenarios now are completely natural but they're LIGHT YEARS different than the person I used to be!
UPDATE:
I just got ordered more nootropics from newmind and lift mode. I scraped up some centrophenoxine, sunifiram, huperzine A, and choline bitartate since I ran out of my alpha GPC finally.
I took a little bit (recommended dose) of each of the 4, and I can feel a heightened sense of awareness. I mainly got it so I can focus more and be more energized, but the added benefit could be that it would help the subs be more effectively ingrained into my neural pathways
))))
