stage 3 day 9
I really don't know if I'm seeing anything happen in stage 3. I hope I'm not messing up somehow.
Anyway I forgot to mention yesterday that in my dream of the night previous, my ex and I were getting back together and it was like high school all over again, where we had to hide our relationship from her parents.
I also read a part of Shannon's SM journal (THANK GLAIZEN YOU ROCK) where current behavior regarding women may have something to do with a need to heal from past relationships. That's huge man, it hit home for me. Maybe that's why I'm having trouble getting close to girls now, whereas before it would be a piece of cake. I feel like I'm struggling in the women department compared with when I was 16-20, being in a really intense and unhealthy relationship with the above girl from 20-21. A huge part of me is still really attached to that girl and the intense roller coaster of a relationship, as much as I want to play as if I'm not.
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I also saw the girl from the camping trip yesterday night at the 8pm meeting. She hugged me twice, and it was a very tight hug, like "i don't want to let you go" type thing.
--
So yeah I'll keep trudging the stage 3, hopefully something will come out of it but I'll try to keep expectations low to nonexistant. (the "big guns" had me expecting a lot rofl)
I really don't know if I'm seeing anything happen in stage 3. I hope I'm not messing up somehow.
Anyway I forgot to mention yesterday that in my dream of the night previous, my ex and I were getting back together and it was like high school all over again, where we had to hide our relationship from her parents.
I also read a part of Shannon's SM journal (THANK GLAIZEN YOU ROCK) where current behavior regarding women may have something to do with a need to heal from past relationships. That's huge man, it hit home for me. Maybe that's why I'm having trouble getting close to girls now, whereas before it would be a piece of cake. I feel like I'm struggling in the women department compared with when I was 16-20, being in a really intense and unhealthy relationship with the above girl from 20-21. A huge part of me is still really attached to that girl and the intense roller coaster of a relationship, as much as I want to play as if I'm not.
---
I also saw the girl from the camping trip yesterday night at the 8pm meeting. She hugged me twice, and it was a very tight hug, like "i don't want to let you go" type thing.
--
So yeah I'll keep trudging the stage 3, hopefully something will come out of it but I'll try to keep expectations low to nonexistant. (the "big guns" had me expecting a lot rofl)
