03-08-2015, 08:07 PM
stage 2 day 31
I had a dream last night that I was having sex with a virgin girl. I don't remember too much of the details of it, though I wish I did ;P
I'm starting to see facebook as an extremely distracting part of life. Every time I'm on facebook, I notice negative self talk going through my head that really shouldn't matter. I see facebook as such bullshit. It's a distraction from reality. I just deactivated it. Maybe i'll reactivate it again in the future, but as of now I don't have a need for it.
"Approval seeking destruction"
Facebook is the epitome of approval seeking in my opinion.
People really are looking up to me as a leader. To prove that it isn't all in my head, I got asked to be a manager for the sober house I'm at. I took up the opportunity so I can give back to the house that helped get me sober and has offered me a chance to get structure in my life. Additional proof is that there was debate up in the air whether or not to kick out one of the guys for having 3 strikes, and everyone turned to me as the final decision maker. This guy has been messing up since day one, he never did his chores and always left his stuff everywhere leaving grown men having to pick up after him. I said that the only fair thing to do was to kick him out for 3 days, which is standard protocol for anyone who either drinks or gets high or gets 3 strikes. I got high in november and I had to leave for 3 days, so it's only fair that he suffer the consequences of his actions. He's had 3 strikes many times in the past, but the owners were always lenient with him and didn't have backbone in them to kick him out. the dude's not even a drug addict or alcoholic. he's a sex addict with nowhere to go. regardless, he's a loved one and has to live the same rules as the rest of us.
I don't think I would have felt as comfortable making the decision I did today if I hadn't been running AM6. I would have been able to make the same decision, but it would have been a guilty kind. But then again, if I hadn't been running AM6, I might not have been looked up to for the decision to begin with.
Also, I've been getting long looks from girls. One girl who I never even introduced myself to before smiled and waved at me and said hello after the meeting tonight. The looks and attention I'm getting from women is starting to feel sexually charged. Not necessarily brutally sexual, but there's a sexual feel to it... not sure if that makes sense?
I have loads more to improve in the women department, but I think the horny vibe I'm giving off is helping to garner attention from women
Thank you John Alexander...
I had a dream last night that I was having sex with a virgin girl. I don't remember too much of the details of it, though I wish I did ;P
I'm starting to see facebook as an extremely distracting part of life. Every time I'm on facebook, I notice negative self talk going through my head that really shouldn't matter. I see facebook as such bullshit. It's a distraction from reality. I just deactivated it. Maybe i'll reactivate it again in the future, but as of now I don't have a need for it.
"Approval seeking destruction"
Facebook is the epitome of approval seeking in my opinion.
People really are looking up to me as a leader. To prove that it isn't all in my head, I got asked to be a manager for the sober house I'm at. I took up the opportunity so I can give back to the house that helped get me sober and has offered me a chance to get structure in my life. Additional proof is that there was debate up in the air whether or not to kick out one of the guys for having 3 strikes, and everyone turned to me as the final decision maker. This guy has been messing up since day one, he never did his chores and always left his stuff everywhere leaving grown men having to pick up after him. I said that the only fair thing to do was to kick him out for 3 days, which is standard protocol for anyone who either drinks or gets high or gets 3 strikes. I got high in november and I had to leave for 3 days, so it's only fair that he suffer the consequences of his actions. He's had 3 strikes many times in the past, but the owners were always lenient with him and didn't have backbone in them to kick him out. the dude's not even a drug addict or alcoholic. he's a sex addict with nowhere to go. regardless, he's a loved one and has to live the same rules as the rest of us.
I don't think I would have felt as comfortable making the decision I did today if I hadn't been running AM6. I would have been able to make the same decision, but it would have been a guilty kind. But then again, if I hadn't been running AM6, I might not have been looked up to for the decision to begin with.
Also, I've been getting long looks from girls. One girl who I never even introduced myself to before smiled and waved at me and said hello after the meeting tonight. The looks and attention I'm getting from women is starting to feel sexually charged. Not necessarily brutally sexual, but there's a sexual feel to it... not sure if that makes sense?
I have loads more to improve in the women department, but I think the horny vibe I'm giving off is helping to garner attention from women
Thank you John Alexander...
