03-06-2015, 11:16 AM
(This post was last modified: 03-06-2015, 11:21 AM by naturalself.)
Nearing the end of stage 2. It has been a HELL/HEAVEN of a month!
---Came out as Bi to friends, parents (and myself)
---If my guilt about sexuality, porn, etc. was at a 10 before, it's a 2 or so now
---very sexual vibe when I go on subway, both men and women are like "wtf" sometimes I can see.. lots of eye contact etc. I feel very very open energetically
---relationships with all of my friends changing. I am more open, don't care what they think. people that used to be "alpha" over me I feel we have a more even relationship now, i can see them looking for my approval. I am very sexual, and both men and women love it. Even the men that aren't attracted to me still feel more comfortable around me because those lower chakras are more open, I am more grounded, and I am more comfortable with my darkness (making sexual jokes, etc.)
---if my neediness with women before was an 8, it's a 2 now. I am still very much attracted but I don't think about what I'm texting them, when I"ll see them etc. There are a couple women who I know I will see soon once they message me... and while i look forward there is absolutely no sense of needing it to happen. I feel like i have a lot to GIVE them, not as much trying to Get
---Feel I am very much living life more on my own terms - started with coming out but is spreading into other aspects of my life. I feel like a leader in the making, and I am caring much less about what society thinks. This confidence will leak into my career/art
---Feel much more spiritually free even while doing mundane things. there is a different energy in my apartment now. I envision it as a place where people can come and be themselves and be free and honest
--more effortlessly making smalltalk with people on sidewalk, in apt building, in checkout line, etc. --- without trying... Just feeling my body, and the vibe, and observing--- and then sometimes words come out. very natural. Still a work in progress (I grew up as a very "in my head" person--- like anyone else on this forum I imagine.. hah)
--feel much more worthy when I see someone I'm attracted to, and I'm making less excuses (she'd think i'm too young, she'd think i'm too poor, he wouldn't think i'm strong enough... w/e... )
Perhaps I can credit the program with the speed of my progress, but what really opened up my energy and has changed my life is coming out, and a few sexual experiences with men. Will be interested to see where the program takes me now that my energy has freed up. I have also been practicing key sound MMO (which is freeing up my sexual energy quite a bit), and I have had a couple therapy sessions. I may go regularly if I find someone to help free up some of the remaining guilt/shame around my sexuality. I think the program is doing a lot though.
I am not sure how this program affects bisexual, but shannon says it's safe to use with homosexuals, so I assume it's safe for me. I haven't experienced any negative effects (and very little resistance even last couple weeks), and my sexuality with both men and women has been amped up. :-)
What's next?: really focus and buckle down on my work. has been a very emotionally freeing month.
I should add: I feel that perhaps the program is what pushed me to come out --- I feel something pushing me to be honest all the time... and the more honest I get the better my life gets
---Came out as Bi to friends, parents (and myself)
---If my guilt about sexuality, porn, etc. was at a 10 before, it's a 2 or so now
---very sexual vibe when I go on subway, both men and women are like "wtf" sometimes I can see.. lots of eye contact etc. I feel very very open energetically
---relationships with all of my friends changing. I am more open, don't care what they think. people that used to be "alpha" over me I feel we have a more even relationship now, i can see them looking for my approval. I am very sexual, and both men and women love it. Even the men that aren't attracted to me still feel more comfortable around me because those lower chakras are more open, I am more grounded, and I am more comfortable with my darkness (making sexual jokes, etc.)
---if my neediness with women before was an 8, it's a 2 now. I am still very much attracted but I don't think about what I'm texting them, when I"ll see them etc. There are a couple women who I know I will see soon once they message me... and while i look forward there is absolutely no sense of needing it to happen. I feel like i have a lot to GIVE them, not as much trying to Get
---Feel I am very much living life more on my own terms - started with coming out but is spreading into other aspects of my life. I feel like a leader in the making, and I am caring much less about what society thinks. This confidence will leak into my career/art
---Feel much more spiritually free even while doing mundane things. there is a different energy in my apartment now. I envision it as a place where people can come and be themselves and be free and honest
--more effortlessly making smalltalk with people on sidewalk, in apt building, in checkout line, etc. --- without trying... Just feeling my body, and the vibe, and observing--- and then sometimes words come out. very natural. Still a work in progress (I grew up as a very "in my head" person--- like anyone else on this forum I imagine.. hah)
--feel much more worthy when I see someone I'm attracted to, and I'm making less excuses (she'd think i'm too young, she'd think i'm too poor, he wouldn't think i'm strong enough... w/e... )
Perhaps I can credit the program with the speed of my progress, but what really opened up my energy and has changed my life is coming out, and a few sexual experiences with men. Will be interested to see where the program takes me now that my energy has freed up. I have also been practicing key sound MMO (which is freeing up my sexual energy quite a bit), and I have had a couple therapy sessions. I may go regularly if I find someone to help free up some of the remaining guilt/shame around my sexuality. I think the program is doing a lot though.
I am not sure how this program affects bisexual, but shannon says it's safe to use with homosexuals, so I assume it's safe for me. I haven't experienced any negative effects (and very little resistance even last couple weeks), and my sexuality with both men and women has been amped up. :-)
What's next?: really focus and buckle down on my work. has been a very emotionally freeing month.
I should add: I feel that perhaps the program is what pushed me to come out --- I feel something pushing me to be honest all the time... and the more honest I get the better my life gets
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